munchkin

She is planning to see a counseller again and she is on anti depressants, she know she has a problem, I think she feels she sould have dealt with her gf dying by now and feels bad because she hasnt! Any other thoughts from anyone on what to put in the letter?

I have friend who has depression due to her GF dieing 3yrs ago and she was not allowed to deal with it at the time as she got straight into another relationship that was also not a good relationship. Anyways it is her birthday soon and I have been trying to think of something nice to do for her and I thought about writing her a letter, that she can read whenever she is feeling depressed to try to lift her spirits, I was thinking of including things like she has a great support network round her, she is a great mother, all the good things she has in her life. Do you think this would be helpful? What kind of things should I add? Help from people suffereing with depression would be great, as I know it is up to her to get herself out of it, but I want her to know she is loved and she has people that are there for her and support her and she doesnt need to go through this alone. If you do suffer what would you want your friends to say to you? Thanks

So I asked this friend if she wanted to meet up at the weekend and do something with her kids, I got no response, so I thought well maybe she is thinking about it, or something........now the weekend is nere and still no response....is she being extremely rude by not responding or am I over reacting? The other week I asked if she wanted to come to a social group she had exrepssed an interest in and straigh away she replied saying she had the kids and couldnt get a sitter......so why respond straight away that time and ignore me the next????

I overreact all the time, with friends, family, and worst of all with lovers or people I fancy. If I ask them to to something and then dont hear back straight away I start thinking the worst, and wondering what I did to make them ignore me...when in reality they are prob jus busy or thinking about it If they turn me down with a reason, think they are jus making up excuses not to be with me and again start to wonder what I did wrong to make them react that way I go back and over anlayse everything I hav said to them over the last few weeks to see if I can find a reason I wish people could say contact me back and say maybe I jus need to sort such n such out, or cant do that weekend how about this one, thats the wy I would treat them.....is that expecting to much? How do I stop myself being like this? Before you say it I have a good social life and I am happy with my life, I just wish I didnt over react all the time!! Someone told me it ws because I was a Pisces so I care to much??

I think she is prob over her ex now, as when I bring it up in conversation she doesnt go on about them all the time. When we meet up she seems friendly enough, it is obvious she still likes me and wants more with me, but I always try to keep my distance, as she is always wanting to sit near to me and stuff, she doesnt contact me as often as she did altho it still seems to be weekly or more.

Hi I met this amazing woman a few months back, and we hit it off stright away, and things moved a bit quicker than I had expected, she seemed to get serious quite quickly which scared me a bit, so I decided to back off and see how she reacted. Well she reacted by keep asking me to meet up and do stuff, and each time I said no and gave her a reason she would come bac with another suggestion that got around my reason, rather than just accepting I was busy. I kept in minimal contact with her saying we should just be friends. She still seemed a bit full on wanting to meet up every weekend n stuff. I think something could have developed between (maybe it still can) but I am not sure how to deal with her, she hs since said that she wasnt over her ex in the beginning which is why she was so full on and that she wasnt normally like that, but how can I know for sure? I have met up with her a couple times recently with other friends (am still a bit scared of meeting her on our own) and we have plans to do a couple other things with friends over the next few weeks. So I guess I am asking how can I be sure if she was like that because of her ex or if she is normally so full on?

I hav this friend, who I also like, I know where I stand with her as far s us being a couple, and that she jus wants friendship at the moment, as she is not ready for a replationship. She says she wants to be friends, and she has sometimes been there for me when I have needed her, but whenever I ask her to meet up she is busy, and she never asks me to meet up or suggests an alternative date, but does say we should meet up, is very confusing! I want to get to know her as a friend with no expectations, and if something happen then great, but I dont feel like I am getting the opportunity to get to know her, and I dont know how much she wants to get to know me? DOnt know wot to do?

Thanks for all the responses so far. Diggity - 1 - the last 2 relationships ended because the first one died and the second one was a bit of a physho and mentally abused her. 2 - The physical stuff developed quickly and then I wanted a relationship which she did not Whilst I understand where you are coming from, I still dont fully believe that she wants out, some people may genuinely not be ready for a relationship and not jus making n excuse. Mybe I m kidding myself, but there is somthing beyond my control that is driving me toward her, and telling me to stick in there, my instincts are telling me she likes me, but I just scared her off, and i need to get her back, but I am not sure how?

The scenario: You have recently (6mths) got out of a relationship that was quite damaging to you, and your previous relationship didnt end well either. You meet someone who you really like, you are not sure if going into a new relationship is the best thing for you right now, you say this to the other person, you say you want to take things slowly. They and you get a bit carried away and jump in quicker than either of you wanted to. You back off and tell the other peron you are not looking for anything other than friendship from anyone. They accept friendship but you know they want more still, you like them, but dont want a relationship at the moment. What would the other person have to do to change your mind about them? Would you avoid spending time with them as you knew you had feelings for them, but you were not ready to go with them?

OK I know people keep putting up posts about this but I still dont get it! If you like someone and want to be with them why would you back off? If you do back off and they respond by being a bit needy you dump them....why surely this shows they are genuine and like you? If you back off and they dont respond...you dump them coz you think they are not interested......what if the other person thinks oh they have backed off they are not interested I will leave it? How would you ever get with someone? If I like somone I want to be with them, spend time with them, stay in touch, not ignore them and see what happens!!!

I have come to the conclusion that I have some trust issues when it comes to people I like. If I am chatting to friends nd they dont contact me for few days/weeks I just think oh well guess they are busy etc etc...when it comes to someone I like I start thinking the worst, if they dont get in touch for a few days, or if they start of being in touch alot and then it slows down, I end up convincing myself I have done somthing wrong and I need to sort it out, so I start sending lots of messages that I prob shouldn;t I start trying to hard to hang on to them, which has a negative affect and they run a mile, then I end up eing depressed n miserable and annoyed t myself for being an idiot and then I mov on. But i dont learn I jus do the same thing the next time, I tel myself I wont but I end up doing it and so they run away again, so I start not trusting people as i think they will run away....not sure how to break out of the cycle any advice help appreciated

Follow on from previous post.. So she sends me a message on Weds on the website where we met, saying, Hi sorry for being quiet. Cant find my fone charger lol. The assignment not finished yet so i´m panickin lol. Hope u keepin k, chat soon. We have exchanged a couple more messages since, couple times she has said chat soon. So I am thinking this is a good sign. But now I am starting to wonder if I can be bothered with it all anymore, she is a busy person, so if she is never gonna have time to see me, do I really wanna be going there even as a friend? Can you be friends with someone you want more with? Do I send her a message saying how I am feeling and see how she responds? How long do I leave it before I ask her to do somthing together? How do I play this (not that I agree with playing games)?

But I obviously hav done somthing wrong as I have come accross as needy! I just want the opportunity to talk to her about it, see how she is feeling, if I have gone to far or if there is still hope of a friendship. I have resisted in contacting her so far has been over a week since I heard from her, and i last txt her at the weekend am planning to hold out til the weekend as I know shes got an assignment due in this week, but not sure how I will deal if she hasnt been in touch after that. I am not putting her on a pedestal or waiting in, in the hopes she might contact me, I am going out and doing stuff wi friends and meeting new people, but it doesn't take away the fact that I thought there was a friendship with this person which i have managed to mess up. (this whole situation is very reminisent of the one with my ex and I guess it is making me more nervous of things goin the same way..) If it was the other way round would people be telling her to forget about me and mov on or to talk to me about it? If she has run away is she likely to come back jus by me not contacting her? I need some insights from her perspective please?

But what if I have done or said somthing that has annoyed/upset her, I just want to talk to her and se what is going on, why is that so wrong? I mentioned the meeting people with friends as I wondered if she was jealous or annoyed by the fact I was still metting people, even tho she had said she wanted us to see each other as friends with no expoectations maybe she wants more from me, but jus cant giv it to me coz she got so much other stuff going on? this is why I wanna talk to her. But I cant coz she never online to talk to, and dont wanna ring her n risk getting VM or to be ignored. If I giv up on her, wont she giv up on me aswell, and think i had an issue with her? What if she sits back and doies the same thing and waits for me....then nothing will even progress! Whats so wrong with wanting to talk to her?

Took this one off!