ncisive

agreed. Thanks a bunch for your advice. 3:36 and believe it or not I gotta get up in a couple hours, so Im calling it a night. Thanks again

I dont necessary agree. I found that my ex had a very colorful past to, and as a result of this I got cheated on 3 times. Believe it or not im still consodiring giving this a second shot with her, but i noticed shes extremly sexual, and she looks at sex as an "essential" part of life.

This is normal. Remember in elementery school they used to punch pillows and such to get out ur anger? this is a direct result. I am actually considoring taking boxing classes!!

I used to never be able to cry, even when I wanted to try to get it out. I found that after my first true breakup with a girl i was truly in love with, its like something openeed up inside me, and I pretty much cry randomly now. Its an extremly weird occurrence for me, but this could be a direct result of a depression state im in.

My life has been compltely crazy since last year. As a recap, I fell deeply in love with my ex girlfriend right before I went off for college. I came back for her 8 months later only to be financially cut off from all college from that point on. At the time I didnt really care cause I was in love and I felt safe with her. Well to my astonishment she broke up with me for another guy and I had my heart ripped apart for the first time in my life. For a month or two i was suicidal and didnt leave my room and was just a complete wreck. I started dating around and found out that I can have fun, but I feel nothing anymore. Its like my brain is in a daze even 6 months later. I have had complete self confidence issues since I was little. I have exzema and I think I look way to young for my age. I been going to the gym, got a job, and believe it or not Got my financial backing for college reinstated (UCF by the way). So eveyrthing should be great. I also have a great girlfriend, but my ex depserately wants me back, and i been seeing her and talking to her a lot. She is the one girl i truly have feelings for. I just dont know if all the issues could ever be settled. I should be happy and feel like my life has meaning now, but i feel compltely useless, depressed, and meaningless. I have felt this way since the beggining of high school, and in high school I found myself being depressed all the time as being an outcast. Im sorry for venting guys, I just wanted any suggestions or opinions on ways to try to kickstart my mind into a postitive thinking mode, and not get caught up in the drama of my relationships and the fog that is invading my brain.

The thing is, I dont want to deal with highschool people, and I believe thats probally the only age group around here, because theres no college or anything.

For the first time in my life, even though I have been through countless moments of depression and loneliness, I dont want to go on. I have never been social, and I never had many friends. In May, I found a wonderful girl, and she fell in love with me. I went away to college 400 miles away, but we kept up our long distance relationship and we were very close. I dropped out of college to move back to be with her, because nothing was more important than the way she made me feel. I had no friends back here, because they all went away. Well, she broke up with me after I came back, and immediately got another guy. I have been siting in my room for 2 weeks, and im a complete mess. I live with my mom right now, and I dont have any friends left, and the love of my life is with another man right now, and hates talking to me. The worse part is, I cant go back to college right now because i got cut off financially because I moved back. This has been the lowest point of my life, and I feel like I just want to not go on anymore. Everything I do reminds me of my ex, everything I see, and I just want to be in her arms again. But she hates me and adores this new guy. She always claimed she loved me and would be my soulmate forever, but one day she just let me go. I feel so absolutely miserable without her, and I keep thinking of her giving her love and sex to this other guy. Everything hurts so bad and it isnt going away. I never cry, and this whole week my eyes have just been tearing 24/7. I dont know if I can do this.

I was just wondering what the best way to go about getting someone back if they found someone else, literally right after she broke up with me, but still misses me and cries over me. She says he treats her better than I did, but all I want is a chance to show her how good I can treat her, what do I do to win her back?

im more pissed than anything

well i found out shes with another guy, and it got pretty heated, she obviously has no more feelings for me and is defending the hell out of him. I just want to get my * * * * back but she blocked me on everything.

opinions? ????

well Im really going to do lc now, because i think she needs to know ims til there. I talked to her yesterday and she asked if i was moving back to florida. I said why, and she said I shouldnt run away from us and the situation... She said i failed the test because I told her she was the love of my life but now im just gonna run away again. I told her I cant wait forever even though i love you with all my heart. She told me It would be a month or a few at the most. We also talked about dating other people, and I said a) she falls for guys easily and B) I couldnt wait while she dated other people. She told me that I would date to which I cant right now.. and it goes both ways. I know there is this other guy, and I want to try this relationship again because of what we did have. o she also said that it was her way of finding out if I really thought she was my soulmate (me not running away to florida back to school)

my first post can be found here After talking to her, and being nice i figured out a few things maybe u guys can give me advice on. She told a mutual friend of both of us she still loves me, but cant be with me right now. She told me After we both get our lives straightened out.. school, work, etc.. we can try again. I asked her today if she thinks that 1 day we might have a chance again, and she said yes i do. She also thinks we should date other people make sure we want to be with each other.. is this the truth or just a lie? She is hanging a lot with her guy friend who has a thing for her. She told me he could probally treat her better than I did, but she doesnt know cause they are 2 much alike. I think shes confident that maybe in the future she will want to give us a try again. Is my best bet to go NC and try to let her miss me and work on myself, or keep talking to her and acting like a friend?

i already pushed to hard, we had a long talk this morning and we didnt argue, but then i noticed she is hanging with this guy a lot. He is falling for her, and she is taking the bait im pretty sure. Its like back to square 1, a punch in my chest. i guess im just gonna do nc now

I was thinking about showing her this what do you think... Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself By Michele Weiner-Davis of Divorce Busting Are you someone who walks around feeling angry with your spouse or loved one much of the time? Do you have a little inner voice that constantly reminds you of all of his or her wrongdoings? Have you become expert at remembering all the minute details of past injustices just so that you can keep score? If this describes you at all, you better read what I’m about to say and take it to heart. Lack of forgiveness imprisons you. It takes its toll on your physical and emotional health. It keeps you stuck in the deepest of relationship ruts. No matter how justified you feel about your point of view regarding your partner’s insensitive behavior, you still are miserable. When you wake up each morning, a gray tint shadows your life. You walk around with a low-grade depression. You can’t feel joy because you’re too busy being angry or feeling disappointed. In the face of these fairly obvious disadvantages, you hang on to your belief that, since you feel let down, you must not “give in.” To you, giving in means forgiving, letting go, making peace. To do so, would be tantamount to giving up your soul. So, you keep your distance. You interact in perfunctory ways, never allowing your partner to step over the emotional line you’ve drawn. And though the distance often feels intolerable, forgiveness is not on your short list of solutions to your dilemma. I have worked with so many couples who say they want to heal their relationships. And yet, when they’re offered the tools, they can’t seem to move forward. These are the couples who, instead of finding effective ways to get beyond blame, continue to repeat their mantra, “Our problems are your fault and you must pay.” As long as they maintain this mindset, they are doomed to failure. How very sad. Even sadder are their children who, on a day-by-day observe their parents being “right” but “miserable.” What lessons are they learning about love? If any of this strikes a chord with you (and you wouldn’t be reading this if it didn’t), you need to internalize that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Letting go of resentment can set you free. It can bring more love and happiness into your life. It opens the door to intimacy and connection. It makes you feel whole. Forgiving others takes strength, particularly when you feel wronged, but the fortitude required to forgive pales in comparison to the energy necessary to maintain a sizable grudge. The person most hurt by holding out or blaming is YOU, no matter what the circumstances. “All this sounds good,” you tell yourself, “but how can I ever forget what my partner did to me?” Good question. You don’t! Forgiveness is not the same as forgetting. You will probably always remember the particular injustice(s) that drove you into your corner. But what will happen, is that when you forgive, the intense emotions associated with the event(s) begin to fade. You will feel happier, lighter, more loving. And these renewed positive feelings won’t go unnoticed. Others will be drawn to you. Just keep in mind that forgiveness isn’t a feeling. It is a decision. You decide that you are going start tomorrow with a clean slate. Even if it isn’t easy, you make the determination that the alternative is even harder, and that you are going to do what you must to begin creating a more positive future. So promise yourself, that no matter what the reason, you will not go another day blaming your partner and feeling lonely. Make peace. Make up. Make love. I promise you that the benefits of deciding to forgive go far beyond anything you can picture in your mind’s eye at the moment. Your decision to forgive will create a ripple effect of exponential changes in your life. __________________

I dont think I can guilty her at this point, I have alreayd been through the stage of pouring my heart out, and telling her everything I felt. I know she just needs to get over the anger and hurt, and after that I know we could work. By the way thanks for your support, you are really helping me.

I mean right now she is just so pissed its not even funny. she called me a sex infested * * * hole of a boyfriend. Which maybe I was, but im commited to her forever. She had an affair to and used my affair against me a lot of the relationship but then told me about hers. I got over it fairly quickly though, cause I guess I just wanted us to work. I think she kept a lot of the pain in and hid it and now its just bubbling to the surface.

i know NC is suppose to work, but I really think there might be something I can do. She said if i came up with something logically she might do it. We have never lived close to each other, im an hour from her right now.

i just talked to her on yahoo because i cant resist her ims. she sent the girl i had a relationship with at the very beggining a thing saying she could send emails and stuff to me now cause she was done with me. I then asked her she said earlier "i know plenty of couples that have broken up and gotten back later to work things out" and if that applied to us. She said maybe. Right now she just has so much rage against me and it isnt going away. I asked her if she would go to a therapist with me and she said she doesnt believe in shrinks. What can I do to try to get her rage out and start seeing the love again? I asked her if i could think of a logical answer to maybe fix it would she considor it and she said maybe. I know she loves me deep down beause of the months she was all over me and the emails she sent me everyday. I think the rage in her is just covering up everything, and she still has that nightmare and she cant sleep without taking sleeping pills she says. Theres gotta be a way to help her get over this???

im 19 years old shes 23

I did it because I was young, and was just so dumb. I also said things in the relationship, like maybe it should be open, and things at the beggining that hurt her, and I realized how dumb it was and started making an effort this past month because I didnt want to lose her and love her so much. We literally went from laying on her bed talking sweet to each other on new years eve, to the next day telling me she cant do it anymore. I gave up everything for her, and I dont know what to do anymore. She was all I had

The love of my life just broke up with me after 8 months, all of it we had distance, cause i went to college. I dropped out for her and moved back home and gave up friends for her. Theonly person i got is my mom now, and it has been killing me. She broke up with me because we had a rocky past, it included me saying things i shouldnt have because it was my first relationship, and infedelity on both parts. She always showed her complete lvoe though, and made me feel amazing. The only person i got now is my mom, and im not even that close to her, so for the past week I have been throwing up and crying in my room. I try to contact her every second I can on AIM or myspace, and she always says she doesnt know what to do anymore, and she needs time and stuff. We talked today on aim, i didnt contact her for 24 hours, and i gave in. I basically broke down again on aim, and told her what I felt in my heart. I let her down a lot, and I realize how much she means to me, and I made an effort 2 weeks before the break up to change myself. She said I was doing better and the reason she broke up with me is because she had a nightmare about me sleeping with someone else and it resurfaced feelings. She is my life. I cant help but feel that she might find someone else or already has. Im literally dieing, she is my first love, and I could see myself forever with her. I love her so much. I never cry or anything, and I cant even function now. I just want to die literally.

The love of my life just broke up with me after 8 months, all of it we had distance, cause i went to college. I dropped out for her and moved back home and gave up friends for her. Theonly person i got is my mom now, and it has been killing me. She broke up with me because we had a rocky past, it included me saying things i shouldnt have because it was my first relationship, and infedelity on both parts. She always showed her complete lvoe though, and made me feel amazing. The only person i got now is my mom, and im not even that close to her, so for the past week I have been throwing up and crying in my room. I try to contact her every second I can on AIM or myspace, and she always says she doesnt know what to do anymore, and she needs time and stuff. I cant help but feel that she might find someone else or already has. Im literally dieing, she is my first love, and I could see myself forever with her. I love her so much. I never cry or anything, and I cant even function now. I just want to die literally.