Spidey12

If I were the girl in this situation..what advice would you guys give me then?

I don't think shes a cheater....I'm just one of a kind hahaha.. so I guess the basic jist is to let her come running after me...

AHHHHH...you guys have no idea how hard this is...by the way I broke up with my girlfriend because of this girl......2 days before we kissed actually... I just knew as soon as I met this girl something would happen. Now im in love with a girl who is in love with me...but we are ethically incorrect. what to do, what to do.

I found her, the perfect girl. Heres the thing however, I met her at school but she told me she had a boyfriend of 7 years. Well seven years is no small feat for a relationship, so I just let it go. But I could tell there was something going on subliminaly. Long story short, her boyfriend lives back in her hometown accross the country and she now goes to school here...where I am. So the more we got to know each other, the more we admitted how attracted we were to each other, and then hand holding turned into cuddling and cuddling turned into other things...and then finally about 4 nights ago we kissed. She is torn apart now, between her boyfriend and me. Me...she met 3 weeks ago and has this insane love for. Him...a relationship thats been going on for 7 years, but she says she is happy with him. She is visiting him now, and she has not told him about me but she keeps sending me all these texts about how she'd rather be with me, or how she feels guilty being away from me...but not guilty when shes away from him. We are both 20, and she will be back in 2 days. Ever since she left to see her boyfriend she's been hot and cold with me....one second sending me all these crazy texts and then other times just saying goodnight to me earlier than usual (but i have a feeling she'll send another one when I don't respond). I have this eerie feeling that I'm going to get hurt, though I don't doubt her sincerity...in 7 years she has never cheated on her boyfriend until she met me. In fact I'm only the second person she has ever kissed. This girl is incredible and we have so much in common, and she frequently makes comparisons between me and her boyfriend, all of which make me sound better ie "my boyfriend is funny, but you just blow him away" or "he doesn't look at me the same way you do" or "hes not on my mind all the time, like you are". I don't know what to do. I want her so badly, I need her so badly. she is absolutely perfect, or damn near close to it. Should I be distant to her while she is with her boyfriend? Should I make ultimatums? Should I sit back and wait? Advice on how to keep her insane about me will be very welcome.

well in the first LDR it turned into a regular relationship because we went to the same university...but this relationship ended badly...the second relationship ended with the other girl getting extremely jealous because so many girls are always hitting on me...so she got her self a boyfriend and is still with him. the last girl cheated on me 2 weeks after we wound up in the same city. theres the history...very brief of course

Need some advice heres a brief history: This is my 3rd long distance relationship and 4th relationship in general. Things are going really well between this girl that I met and myself. We are completely and utterly in love with each other and we've known each other for a few months. She lives about 6 hours away, and there are plans to see each other later on in the summer and during school. Heres the thing I'd like to know.. how should I go about handling this LDr. We talk daily and for hours..is this healthy? In the past all my LDRs have ended badly..what are golden rules concerning LDRs? Help is appreciated.

You have nothing to worry about at all. I am a guy and I've been through several long distance relationships. It seems like he is being honest with you, you might want to make sure though. The best way to handle this situation is to literally be very direct about it.. something like this..."hey you remember how you told me about that girl? are you sure that thingsd between you two are just pleutonic?" If he says yes and then asks why you're asking, just tell him you;ve been getting a weird vibe about her. Heres that catch with this, as a girlfriend you MUST accept the answer he gives and move on. If he tells you that he is just friends with her, you should just take that and move on and dont worry about this again. If he admits anything to you, just remain calm and relaxed. Remember, long distance relationships are very hard to get through but if you get through them...it means you've found the one..try to make it last good luck!

Its day 4 of no contact and I think I am going to call her tonight and tell her why I sent that nasty text message. Then I'll resume no contact. There's this burning feeling inside of me that if i do not call her, she will find someone else and forget about me.She has that ability.

Thanks for the advice..but im looking for more... its been two days since that text...and i havent heard a peep from her. Anyways I'm still confused as to whether or not i should send her a text...now 2 days later..saying "the reason i sent that last text was because i found out you cheated on me with so and so" i figure she should at least know why i am not talking to her.... i want to at least salvage a friendship from this.

Many of you already know my saga-long story..here is an update with more request for help. Last night I learned of another lie that my ex told me concerning sex. She originally told me she didn't have sex with this person, but now I have undeniable evidence that she slept with him at least 5 times. So last night I sent her a very nasty text : " * * * * you. I wish I would have never met you. Don't contact me again" She called back but I didnt answer, then she texted "what the * * * * is your problem?" I didn't answer. I haven't heard from her since. I am planning on N/Cing for at least a week before I tell her why i sent that text. Is this a bad ide? Should I call her tonight and tell her why I did that and then resume N/C? Should I wait for a call from her? And the most important question...will she listen to the "dont contact me again" part? Still thinking about her almost the time but its slowly getting better.

lol thats awesome

I am a very forgiving person. And when we got back together, it was on my terms. And she agreed to them more than willingly. Then she said she dosnt love me.

I plan on doing that. But it is particuarly difficult. I know that everyone has this feelings and that everyone has special circumstances in which things occur. This friendship was no exception. I loved this girl with everything in me. And I always felt like she loved me even more. I can take her wanting to leave me, I can take her wanting space. However, I cannot take her saying she doesn't love me. It hurts so much, and yet when i looked in her eyes last night as she told me she no longer loved me, i could see that the happiness was gone. She no longer loves me. I guess N/C will do two things: help me get over her, be the only way to make her rethink her feelings about me. This is so hard.

Yes but how do you talk to someone who is convinced they don't love you anymore. We had the talk about the hurting and all of that and everything was put out on the table. Then we agreed to rules and conditions and we got back together. The first time i see her after getting bacvk together..she says "i dont love you anymore" hmm...I'm hurt and REALLY alone and don't know what to do..should i jus do N/C?

I went over to my girlfriends house today. We have been dating for 4 months. and we JUST got back together after she cheated on me with her ex. We just got back together last night. So tonight i went over..and things werre weird. i pissed her off accidentally and she started telling me how she does not love me anymore. That things feel different. I am so confused. How can you prfoess your undying love for someone one night? and ten the next time you see them...no longer love them? what the hell. I am so hurt. What should i do?

okay i really am not asking your opinion of HER. i am asking your opinion on what to do in order to makke her slowly come back to me...someone please help. And also everyone keeps telling me to just LEAVE HER, that is not an option right now i want to give her one more shot before i turn my back on what i believe to be true love.

I know you're just about fed up with me. But trust me, i feel like i AM in control now and im treating this girl like you told me to...like any other girl. I did not call her at all today...and what did she do? She texted me with "i love you" did i respond? NO. Then she texted a few hours later.."and i guess u don't care thats fine ill leave u alone bye" at this point i decided it would NOT be treating her like any oither girl if i ignored her so i texted back (30 minutes later) "At work. dont even have time to scratch my balls. hope things are well with you" The only reason i added that last line wa sbecause she went to her uncle's wake today. she hasn't responded since, but thats cool i am just gonna be chill for a while and im hanging out with afew friends. Knowing her...she'll call tonight (just like she did last night when i didnt call her) Heres my logic and do tell me if its wrong: im not initiating any phone calls and i am not returning affectionate messages. I am however respondidng to phone calls and talking about everyday stuff..briefly and i'll respond to texts that are unrelated to i love u or i miss you. This makes her think that im still there but at the same time, not int he same way as i used to be. BTW, there is a small detail that i didnt mention here...a while ago..almost 3 months ago..thinbgs were perfect between us...but she randomly broke up with me like literally in the middle of one of our convos she just said she didnt need a relationship right now. I wasn't attached to her then and was still talking to a few other women. Anyways, i forgot about her completely and written her off as a dud..didnt call her, didnt text her and really did just think that was the end of that. Four days later she comes running back like ive never seen a girl do before "i am so sorry about that i was going through a suicidal phase and i am over it now and i was such an idiot to leave you..blah blah blah" right after that period is when she treated me the best i think. So this thing right now might be the same thing. In any case, im finding that i am thinking less and less about her and being distracted into thinking about other things much easier than yesterday. Tomorrow will be easier and then easier...so i feel like i am in control because shes saying these things but i see the door and i think right now im jus gonna sort of wait by the door...if she doesnt come to get me, i can just take two steps and be free of her, I'm just not read to turn my back on what i believe to be true love yet. So... What do you think....what is my general "next move"? Pleaase i check this thread every 30 mins for asnwers.

The problem is she is very good at making me want her. This morning she texted me things like"I love you" and "i want to be with you". Then she called...i didnt answer...she called a few hours later and i didnt answer. Then I called her about 5 hours ago and she didn't answer, i sent her a text and she didnt answer. Haven't heard fom her yet...very unusual for herl not to call me at least once every hour. I have no idea what she is doing...I want to call her so badly and ask her what she is doing. God this sucks....i want her so badly and i know she wants me. BAH LOVE SUCKS

Now she keeps texting me: "I cant do this anymore. I dont want to spend time with him anymore"

Ahhhhh, now THAT is good advice. That is so true, who knows why she didn't like hanging out with him. What I am wondering is, even if he did change....she is still with me and she should have never tested the waters with him.

Thanks for the advice guys. She called me a few hours ago. i didn't pick up. She left a voicemail saying she has been hanging out with her ex for the past 2 hours just like i told her to and that she is disgusted with him, she says she cant stand to be with him and she cant even stand to hear his name. She says she wants to be with me and she knows thats what she wants. Then she said I love you and hung up. Why would you hang out with someone you can't stand for 2 hours? * * * * if I was hanging out with someone i couldn't stand i'd leave 5 mins later. what the F is going on. What the F do i doooooooo....

My girlfriend of 4 months and I hung out today. But something wasn't right. So I finally asked her what was up. She wouldn't tell me at first. But then she told me. Her ex boyfriend (the infamous ex boyfriend that she always told me how much she hated and would never go back to) came over to her house last night. She told me they kissed. The rest of the car ride was silent. She then said "it was nothing" And then later went on to contradict herself by saying "Its wrong to care about two people" I told her to park the car right when she said that, i told her how to get home, got out of the car, shut the door and walked the rest of the way home. Then an hour later she called and left a voicemail that said "Hey its me I was just calling to tell you that i am really sorry about how things turned out. I know I said I care about him still, but I still care about you so much more. I just don't think it is fair to you that I have feelings for someone else. I still don't really know how much I love you. So I just wanted to tell you I am truly sorry. Bye" I sent her a text back that said She needs to make a clear choice. Then she logged online and we talked for a bit and i told her I was going out tonight to hang out with my friends. I told her to call her ex and go hang out with him and make sure she does not really love him. She kept saying that she knows who she wants to be with. She kept saying that I was the one she wanted. But i told her to leave me alone for a few days and go hang out with her ex. Later someone told me this was a bad move and that i should call her back and tell her that I don't want her running back to her ex, I just need her to leave me alone for a little while and that I am hanging out with my friends tonight. So i called, and she didn't pick uyp and i left her a voicemail saying just that. I don't know what to do. I want her back. What should I do now? If she calls later do I pick up? If she doesn't call at all when should I call her? How do I make her actually want to be with me and not want to go back to her ex? Help me.