SALLY_ANNE

interests are quite extensive- I love all outdoor stuff i.e. rockclimbing, running, canoeing, white-water rafting, hiking, as well as eating, watching movies, reading, sky diving, bungy jumping heaps of stuff. Might check out rockclimbing in the area or one of the suggestions that actually has me going somewhere or meeting up with people thereforeeee more inclined to go than say if i was just running on my own. Thanks heaps for the suggestions...hopefully I'll be in a new hobby soon and I won't ruin this good relationship I have going. Thanks again.

Yep all sounds good and along the lines of what I was already thinking. So all i have to do now is find this hobby. not sure theatre group is the way to go. Not a big fan of plays and things...thats my sisters deal. might try andget into sport again or something. the only problem there is im trying to save money and to play sport here is expensive. so any suggestions for a relatively low-cost hobby????

I am in a strange query with myself at the moment. I have been goign out with a great guy for almost 8 months now. I love him dearly and he hasn't done anything truly wrong by me as yet. I want to spend every spare moment with him that I can and thereforeeee find myself not annoyed but not totally happy and comfortable when he organises to do things with other people that takes time away from us. I know that we need time to ourselves and time with our friends but I just don't seem to be as happy spending time away from him as he does me. (we are with each other a lot and sometimes I feel that I am perhaps crowdign him but he never says so). I want ot be as happy as he is about spending time apart. how do I do this? do I need to spend some time away alone and reasert my independence? as it stands at the moment i tend to see him spending time with other people as not wanting to spend time with me. i fear that if these feelings of mine continue that it will be detrimental to the good relationship that we could have. where do i go from here?

hmmm....not sure that you've been much help but thanks for trying.

Of course it affects me directly. If he slips into a persona that is not the person I am attracted to and have strong feelings for then of course it affects me. I'm not trying to mother him. But his behaviour does reflect on me. If he is there with "these people" and they are talking filth and acting in a manner that I don't approve of then it says to them- hey he's getting involved in this too so she musn't care or I don't know what type of girl they must think I am with some of the stuff they go on about. For instance if they are sitting there talking about going on strip club crawls and he says yeah sounds like a good idea that reflects badly on me even if he doesn't follow through and actually go to the strip club. Likewise if the two skanky girls that are there start talking about touching themselves and touching each other and other such thigns in graphic detail as they often do and if he reacts at all then that reflects on me. Any of this type of behaviour reflects back on me, what type of person I am and what I am willing to accept. I don't want to look like I am comfortable with any of these things or comfortable with him being involved in any of these things...get my point?

Normally he doesn't behave like that but his behaviour tends to slip a little when he is around these people and that's what I really don't like. It's bad enough knowing they aer like that but it's worse to see that it affects him also.

That's just the point. I don't want to end the relationship at all because I love him dearly but I don't want to have to accept these people being in his life either. I think I'm in a lose lose situation.

My boyfriend and I have been going out for just over seven months now and I am still having troubles accepting the character of some of the people he likes to hang out with. He belongs to a car club which is fine because thats his passion. I just don't like some of the people that are in the same club and that he subsequently spends time with or talks to a lot. They speak filth all the time. They have no morals. They are constantly doing things that I would never want my boyfriend associated with and I just don't like the fact that they have so many qualities that I really can't stand yet my boyfriend still involves himself with them. I don't want to stop him from his passion of cars but I don't like him interacting with some of these gutter-mouth people. What do I do??? I have spoken to my boyfriend regarding their behaviour and all he says is that they aren't really like that and they are ust playing it up a little or that he can't do anything to stop their behaiour. I don't want him associating with these people? Where can I go from here?

So good news- has been 5 days since this last incident and have spoken several times to my boyfriend about how he was going to "deal" as he put it with his friend. I was concerned that he wasn't saying anything to him and he was hoping the subject would be forgotten. He told me that he was not going to confront his friend straight away because he would have gone "yeah yeah whatever" and not taken him seriously. Which is fair enough. So he said he is letting him think over what he has done and then he'll bring it up at an appropriate time where he will take the matter more seriously rather than dismissing it straight up. so i am happy. he says he's going to deal with it in a way he's thinks will get through to his friend so i will trust him and hope that he follows through. i just hope that he can stand up to him should his friend continue to behave this way and there is no-one i.e. me there to show how wrong the behaviour is. time will tell but for now my man seems to have taken me seriously and is dealing with the situation as he sees fit. Thanks for all the comments.

did we all miss a point there soemwhere. you said he dresses up like them??? um gay???? as for being jealous of christina and britney as they've suggested look at the shots that catch them without the makeup and special lighting etc not a good look. And hey if he wants to spend his lifetime wanting something thats unattainable im sure there are plenty of more decent guys that will appreciate you.

atoth22 Not acceptable. It's not worse than porn it IS porn. If I found out my man was doing that he would be out the door so fast- you are disrespecting your girl something shocking. I agree with whoever posted that you should tell your girl to get a web cam. Keep it in the relationship buddy otherwise your just cheating on your girl. If you don't get turned on by your girl then like the fella on Dr Phil said "your just not that into her". You should try changing things up a bit in your relationship- maybe you don't turn her on either- have you spoken about this?? I don't know why your not having sex but you can gain so much pleasure without going the full way. First and foremost I would find out if she is also unsatisfied then I would talk to her about how she thinks you two can rectify the situation and if nothing works then your just not that into each other. But definitely a bad thing to be bringing third parties into the relationship. BIG NO NO!!!!

I've spoken to my boy about this before and he just dismisses it as his friend trying to rile me up and that I shouldn't worry bout it. he admits that he went too far this time but doesn't agree that the stupid comments he makes on a regular basis are worth worrying about. My point is I really don't like this guy. I don't like his moral values (he has none) and I don't want soemone like that having any influence on my man. i think the friends you surround yourself with show what sort of person you are and if he wants to surround himself with a person that I really cannot stand what does that say about my boy? As I said who knows what his friend is trying to make him do while they're out without me. I just don't know whether I can handle him going out with his friend knowing he behaves like this. And should he continue going out with his friend do I want to make a stand and walk???

misery12 sounds like you've already made up your mind as to what you're going to do. I am with most people that have posted and think that talking to your ex whilst being in a new relationship is totally disrespectful. you're saying to your new girl hey i kinda like you but if my ex is up for it we'll give it another go. how rude and unfair to the new girl. you need to tell her straight up that you still have feelings for your ex and she can then make a decision whether she wants to keep seeing you or not. if she doesn't i don't blame her-i'd be heading for the hills too. it is so disrespectful of you, not to mention selfish of you because you haven't considered the new girls feelings in this at all. who cares if your ex is a "nice girl" as you put it. if you want to be around her so much then get rid of the girl that your currently with so she isn't mislead as to your feelings and commitment. if you are wrong and non of them want you then that's just a chance you'll have to take. think of others before yourself- you'll get further in life that way.

look I hope you haven'y gone and done anything silly like you were suggesting. I don't know your full situation but it seems to me like you really need someone just to listen to the troubles your having. I'd be quite happy to do that if you want to talk. I can't help if you don't start to help yourself. If not me then someone in your family, your friend. If not them I don't know if you have such a thing over there but we have suicide hotlines and youth hotlines specifically designed for people like yourself who feel they have nothing left. Please Please exhaust all resources before contemplating ending your life. Despite what you may think. People will miss you. People do care about you. And life will go on no matter how hard it gets some times. Please seek some help before making such a final decision.

I am completely in love with my man even though we have only been together for just over 6 months. Whilst I try and get along with his friends because they are a part of who he is I am finding it really difficult to like one of his friends especially. This so called friend of his is always telling him to do things with other girls that I see as cheating. He even says these things when I'm right there and can clearly hear him. Stuf Like " Hey (my boyfriend) you should see how many of the chicks at work can send you nude pictures of themselves" or he's trying to show my boyfriend porn of which I am very much against. His behaviour really gets to me and the stuff I've witnessed only makes me wonder what he's trying to get him to do when I'm not there. Not that I don't trust my boy but I just don't like the fact that his friend his trying to influence him with this crap. To make matters worse we all went out the other night with my friend there as well. Now she has a rather large chest and flaunts it more than she should and my boyfriends friend was obviously dumfounded by this and he couldn't stop gawking all night. Then when we were all there (me, my boyfriend, his friend and my friend) he said "hey (my friend) you should hook up with (my boyfriend). it be so cool he'd really like it" then the w**ker puts his arm around me, starts to take me away and says "come on honey you don't need to see this". I couldn't believe it. I wanted to beat the life out of him. what a nerve!! i had to walk away so I didn't hit him and stoop to his low level. My boyfriend thought I was mad at him and said "so you're leaving me?" and I replied "no I'm just removing myself as far away from your friend before I do something I'll regret later" apparently my boyfriend said something to him about it then came and found me and told me he would "deal with his friend later" WHAT DO I DO???? I really love my man but I can't stand him hanging around such filth of a friend. He wasn't only disrespecting me, he was disrespecting my friend and my boyfriend. WHAT DO I DO????