Dogg

ok, so flowers is a big no no!!! I understand why you all feel that way too. I do want her in my lfe I truly think that she is a very special person and maybe backing off will make her see that I am as well and will make her realize how much she did enjoy my company and talking to me, I mean come on, she called me more than once a day EVERY day since the day that we met alng with the cute little texts. If she is truly scared of getting into something right now for whatever reason, I must respect that but yet continue to show her that I do enjoy her and maybe, just maybe, something will bloom from there...the seed has already been planted, now I will just take the time to watet it and hope that it will grow. I'm sorry for the terrible metaphor!

thanks for the advice, it most definitly gives me something to think about. On the other hand, I just spoke to a very good female friend about the situation and she thinks that her response indicates that she is scared. She said that there are things that I could do to "woo" her if I wanted to take that route, one of those things being to send her flowers with a little note that just says "lets forget all the bullsh*it and just have fun together!" or soemthing like that. I'm not sure if that would be the right thing to do, nor am I sure that I would or could actually do it for fear that it would be misconstrued but at the same time, I do think that she may find it really sweet and nice and thoughtful and it may let her know that I do want her in my life. I don't know anymore, but I think that I may have seen something in her that is making me want to do whatever it takes....

may it be posssible to cultivate something from this if i remain her friend? I mean it is quite obvious to me that there was something there...and that maybe she just wasn't ready to feel the way that she was feeling. She had to have felt something or else she would not have called and kept in such close contact all this time right????? Do you think that remaining "friends" with her could possibly lead to bigger and better things?

Well, I got a response to my email last night and I wrote back, here they all are, tell me what you think the next step should be and what that is or anything you all have to say because i truly value your advice! I sent this to her: I just wanted to apologize for Friday because I have been thinking about it a lot. I just felt a bit blindsided by the things that you were saying and they caught me off guard. I really thought that we were enjoying each other and that is really all that I wanted and could have asked for. I think that you are so sweet and nice and incredibly beautiful and i liked spending time with you and in no way did i want you to think that I was expecting anything more than that. I am all for "rolling with the punches" and seeing where things go and not jumping into anything. I have been doing a lot of thinking and i think that you misunderstood the way that I thought that things were going. I simply really like and value you and your company and enjoyed being with you and laughing with you. Call me if you would like to. she sent this back: You don't have to apoligize for anything. I know that what I said came out of nowhere. I just wanted to let you know how I felt before it went further. I liked hanging out with you but I don't want anything right now. If you could be my friend I would enjoy that. But I would never expect that from you. I guess I thought that maybe it would work out. Im sorry if I led you on or hurt you in anyway and I wanted you to know that you did nothing wrong and that I appreciate everything that you have done. So if you wanna talk and be friends we can, but that is up to you.... I sent this back to her: I really liked hangin out with you too, and I would like that to continue! I'm not sure that I want anything right now either! i just wanted to let you know that the things that I did for you, and with you were because i wanted to, not because i was expecting anything at all, just to enjoy you and being with you. I truly think that you are amazing in so many ways! I too thought that this may have the ability to go further, but in no way did I think that was the way that it was going to be so soon, nor was i ready for it to take that route. I do really like you, I miss talking to you, and hangin out with you, and even kissing you, but I do not and did not want you to feel any pressure at all. If you did, then i am sorry for that is not at all what I intended, i thought the feelings were somewhat mutual... I just feel, and i really do mean this, that it is stupid to end something that we both really seemed to enjoy ( and I mean each other) for no reason aside from that we both may not be ready........thats just how I feel! I really just want to continue to get to know you and what you are about and enjoy you!!!!!! I'm not even thinking about later on.....just NOW! All I know is that now, I don't want you out of my life..........lets just see how things turn out babe........that is all I ever wanted from you! Its up to you.... That is what has transpired thus far. I think that it is obvious that there is somethign there on both accounts, but that maybe she just got worried that she felt that things were going to a place that she was not ready for yet and it scared her a little. I don't know. What I do know is that I do liek her and even though I was talking to all of you about being exclusive because that is what I thought that she would have wanted, I never said that to her. I would simply like to continue to cultivate the "realtionship" or whatever you want to call it and see where things go from there. Is that unreasonable? I know that there is something there or she wouldn't have been the one doing all the calling and texting all the time and she most defnitly would not have run back to the car that night to kiss me as I was leaving. What is there to do now? Advice please cause I don't want to do anything stupid here and further push this one away......

Its just hard to be that fun, confident person hat i was when it seems that nothing that I do works. I really felt something special going on with this girl and I truly liked her a lot and I thought that she felt equally about me and everything that she was doing and saying seemed to prove that. It made me feel really really good to finally feel wanted and worth something to someone and have some one want to be with me and be around me and be close to me. why is it that girls seem to fall hard for me and then all of a sudden and this goes for my ex and this new girl, they are just fine with never speaking to me again? What am I doing wrong here? I just don't get it...

yes lady bug, you are right in a way, but I am in NO WAY capeable of providing worthwhile advice to anyone who wants to fix and/or not f*ck something up. Everything I touch no matter how good it seems to be going innevitably becomes a mess and only leads to my own misery! Sorry!

I just am feeling so confused and worthless about this situation. I really was very happy with her and with what was going on and in no way did I anticipate that this was happening or that it was going to happen. I just really like her and even though its only been three days s9ince we last spoke, it is the longest that it has been with out us speaking since we first met like two months ago. I know that I must lay low and see what happens but I just wonder if there is anything proactive that I can do?

well, no response as of yet from her. I'm not sure if she will or will not actually respond to me. The more and more that I think about this, I am more and more confused by the whole ordeal. It just seemed to be going so well and it felt so right and from all the evidence that I was getting from her, she felt the same way. Is it possible that she just got scared away by the fact that I truly was doing everything right? Does that happen sometimes? Maybe she thought that I was to good to be true? I just feel really taken aback by the fact that I have learned and have grown so very much from my previous relationship and I did everything differently this time around and look where it has gotten me yet again, MISERY and confusion! PLEASE HELP!!!!!!

well, I just sent her an email saying that I think that she may have misinterpretted what I thought was happening and that all I was really doing was enjoying spending time with her and that I valued her and loved the fun that we had been having and that I wanted it to continue. I'm not sure if this was smart, or how she will respond if at all, but I think that it was something that I had to do. I really liek this girl and I see no reason to end something that we were both enjoying immensly. we had a lot of fun together and this thing on friday just came out of nowhere and I'm not willing to accept it just yet. there was no reason for it and anyone who is thinking about ending something does not call and text so much everyday and want to hang out all the time and especially does not kiss you after they say that. I just hope that this works itself out in my favor! any advice is welcome and needed...

seriously, there was really nothing said or not said as far as I know, like I mentioned, I even picked her up with that little tin of margarita sugar that she wanted just as a token of good faith and to show her that I listen to what she says and I enjoy making her happy. We had a great night at the comedy club and then all of a sudden WHAM!!!!!!!!!!! blindsided by the "friends" thing out of the blue!

I am proof positive that I did nothing pushy or anything that could have been misconstrued as such!! In my opinion, I was and had been hadleing this "relatinship" the best way thta i knew how to do so and it seemed to be more than working, there was not a time that we talked or that we hung out that we didn't laugh and have a great time! She would call me and send me texts saying that she was thinking about me and hoped my dayu was going well. I thought that I was well on my way to something special with her and it really hurts to have that blow 8up in my face for no reason. I guess that it truly is over and that there is pretty much nothing that I can do accept wait and hope that maybe she will m iss talking and hangin out with me. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT I SHOULD DO HERE???????

the only thing that I can say in response to you wildchild is that as cool as I was playing it, I did do things to show her how I felt (making her dinner, getting her that rose, even that night she was saying how she wanted to get some flavored margarita sugar thing from the store and she had forgotten it and I showed up at her house to piuck her up for the comedy club and I had picked it up for her). I'm not sure if sending her flowers is a good or a bad idea, I do not want to push her away or make her think that i am some kind of sick psycho. Again, we were only hangin out/dating for a little under two months. I just do not see anything in my words or actions that could have made her change gher tune so very quickly. If anyone else has an opinion on this sitaution or as to what I should do if anything at all, please tell me!

the more and more that I think about this, the more and more confused I am! I am racking my brain to try to see if in fact there was something that I said or did but I'm coming up with nothing at all!!!! I was so completely taken aback its even hard to describe. There was no fight, no argument, nothing. In fact, as she got out of the car that night (friday) and I started to pull away, she called me and came back only to give me a huge deep kiss. I pulled back one out of surprise and two out of dismay. I told her that I really had enjoyed our time together and then I left. I texted her the next morning only to ask whether or not I should cancel the wedding invite to her and tell the wedding party that she would not be coming. Her response was that she would go but only as friends and I said that i did not think that that would work. I again told her that I thought that she was very special and that I really didn't want her to feel that I was pressuring her at all in any way because in fact I hadn't at all, I never even really told her how much I liked her, I just let my actions speak and took things slow and let her be the one to pursue. I just don't get it at all. I really really liked her a lot!!!!! I feel that I had just begun to literally claw myself out of a hole that I hade been in for so long only to get kicked back in for no reason or fault of my own. One thing that i do remember her saying was that "I told you that I'm no good at dating!!!" what the heck does that mena and how could her feelings for me just instantly flip like this. Its pretty obvious to me that I should not contact her, but I do not know what to do or think. Is this truly the end?

Hello all, you may or may not have read my other posts about this girl that I had been dating that I really lked and enjoyed and was thinking about becoming exclusive with. Anyway, friday afternoon she called me up after she got off of work like she usually does and asked what I was doing that night. I came up with the idea that we keep it low key and I offered to take her out to a comedy club. I picked her up and we had a great time laughing and just hanging out. We laughed and talked all the way back to her house where we sat in the driveway and she more or less out of the blue told me that she doe snot think that it is a good idea for this to continue on as anything more than just being friends!!!!!! I was floored, I told her that all I wanted was to take things slow and just see how things were going and that If she thought that I was pressuring her that I wasn't in any way adn she agreed that I did nothing wrong, but that she just "did not want to lead me on in any way." Now let me remind you that this is the same girl that was pursuing me and calling me everyday and texting me all the time and wanting to hang out and talk. Now all of a sudden LITERALLY she says that she just doesn ot thin k that she feel sthe same way about me that I do about her!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!!!! where did this all come from? I was and am completely taken aback by this and do not know what to do about it. Keep in mind that this is the same girl who was in florida and called me numerous times per day to talk. This is the same girlt hatI took out to luch from work and she was awed by the fact that I had gotten her a rose and she LOVED it. This is the same girl that was so excited to go to a weddig with me and then agreed to take off a day of school when I had spring break to go to atlantic city for the night. This is the same girlt hat Just friday, was calling me and seeing if I wanted to hang out then having a wonderful time, (its not liek I am neive to the truth, we had a blast) WHYat happened here???????????? I need some major advice on this one about what to do!!!!!! HELP, I really liked this girl and saw a lot special in her and I thought that we had a GREAT connection!!!!! I have not spoken to her since....what shgould I do now?

oh I must have given off the wrong impression of myself and this situation. I do reciprocate her advances with some of my own. I never not call back or respond to her messages. I do also send some of my own and make the initial call sometimes. My point is that after the trials and tribulations that I have gone through in my most recent and most miserable relationship and now how I am trying to pull it all back together and make something out of this new girl whom I think is absolutly wonderful, I do not want to push her away by moving too fast or by taking away the mystery in it all! does that make sense? I want her to WANT to call me and WANT to hang out with me I want her to DESIRE me because she has to work for it a little. I do not want her interest in me or this "relationship" to fade due to things being too easy! again, not sure if I'm going about htis the right way and would like some advice on it if you would!!!

Hey All, I have posted here before about a new girlt hat I had been hanging out with and how I wanted to become exclusive with her (see previous posts). Well anyway, we hang out all the time, she calls me everyday whether we are seeing each other that day or not. We do things together like sit at her place or mine and watch movies, she has gone out with my frineds and vice versa, she has stayed at my house, I have taken her out to lunch from her work, she texts me during the day and says that she is just thinking about me and things like that. We have a lot of fun together, there is amazing chemistry between us. I am SOOOO attracted to her ( i hope that she feels the same way and I think that she does) she is the nicest sweetest person that I may have ever met. I thoroghly enjoy spending time with her. Now i have been more or less trying my best to take things slow. I have veered away from talking about "us" so as to contunue to keep things light and fun between us. I have not been the one pursuing her by making phone calls and sending texts. I let her initiate that and it works out quite well because I am out of work well before she is anyway so she just calls me like clockwork when she gets out. I let her suggest activities for us to do (mostly just ask if I wanted to do something with her then I come up with the idea cause I'm good like that) I surprised her and told her to come over to my place the other night aftr she got off work where I had cookoed a nice dinner for her and popped a nice bottle of chardonney. Also, I brought her a rose to work when I ppicked her up the other day and she LOVED it and later said that it caused a frenzy around her office of everyone asking her about it and I could tell that it made her feel good to be the center of attention in that way. I really like this girl alot. I invited her to one of my best friends weddings and she said that she would love to copme and we are also planning a one night adventure to atlantic city. My questin is this, should I begin pushing more for the exclusive relatinship although there is really no doubt in my mind that she is not seeing anyone else or should I just continue to more or less roll with the punches and see where things go on their own? I read on link removed that the guy to maintain power in a "relationship" should never be the one to ask, he shoud wait for the women to ask....what shoudl I do, I am really enjoying things right now but I am committed to her and am not seeing anyone else either......

so this is normal? Ok, good, because I kinda like it, it made me feel like I was doing something that she liked and enjoyed thus making me feel good about having pleased her. Plus, I know that If I can satisfy her, she will be happy and satisfied with that part of the rekationship so that I can eliminate that worry! thanks all!

Hey to all! Alright, Now I know that women get wet when stimulated down there and that sometimes it depends on how much they are truly "excited." My question is this, Last night I began making out and stuff witht he gilr that I have been dating for a little over a month. Things got pretty intense and we began to take things further. Keep in mind that this is the first time that we had done anything together aside from kissing. Anyway, I began to feel her body all over and she did the same to mine. Now I have always prided myself in my ability to make women come to orgasm simply by using my hands and fingers, I hjave been told that they are "magic" by more than one female I have been with. Anyway, I could tell that she was thoroghly enjoying what I was doing to her by the way that she was moaning and writhing in the bed as well as grabbing me very intensly and kissing me quite hard. I could feel that she was becoming more and more excited and that she began becoming wetter and wetter which is always a good sign I suppose. As usual, I was able to bring her to climax! I could tell that she was VERY satisfied as she began to giggle like a 10 year old and was completely short of breath and flushed with colors that I did not think that it was possible for a human being to be! Anyway, she got up to go to the bathrooom and I realized just how wet she really was!!!!!! There was more or less a huge puddle where she had been laying on the bed! It was soaked! After she came back from the bathroom, I saw that it had basically gone right through her pants (I did not remove them totally, just put my hand down them)!!! I know that it was not unrine, you could tell from the smell and the fact that I think that if is was she would have been pretty embarrassed to say the least. Anyway, I felt really good about myself and my abilities once again, but was wondering if this is normal for a woman? can women come THAT much? Is this a sign that I am doing a good job?I am beginnning to weird myself out a little and would appreciate some feedback on this subject. Keep in mind that I really like this gilr a lot and am beginning to feel like I have finally met my match in her! its a great feeling! thanks for listening and responding!

what happened is this: First of all I was hired to be a reading teacher that is what i am certified in and that is what I wanted to do (6th grade). When I was given the curriculum, it turned out that I was teaching a new program that the school had implemented that is basically a "study skills" course in which it is my job to teach the students different strategies for reading comprehension and such but the whole thing is simply based around them being ready for the state test which is just ridiculous. Then after a while, I had been teaching what I was told to teach in the given curriculum using the given books adn doing EXACTLY what they told me to do. I received an unsatisfactory evaluation for more or less "not puttin enough of myself in to my lessons"!!!!!!! This is where it began. Now, I teach the ENTIRE 6th grade, that is over 400 students broken down into 17 classes!!!! The major problem that I have is this, I have to teach the EXACT same thing 17 times in a row before moving on to something new!!!!!! IT IS SOOOOO BORING!!!!!!!!!!! I get no recognition or respect from the administration who are constantly breathing down my neck because I am new, this is a "new program" and I am a young male. basically my situation just sucks really bad and I hate getting up everyday and coming here....I need to get out bad!

I F*CKEN HATE MY SH*TTY JOB!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE EVRYTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!! I WOULD BURN THIS PlACE TO THE GROUND IF I CoULD (as long as all the kids were gone of course) I wish that the adnministrators would all burn in hell and die!!!!!!!!!! I gotta get out of here!

hello all, I HATE MY JOB!!!!! I am a teacher, who has always loved what I do, th problem is that right now I am doing something that I did not "sign up" for! I feel like I got a screw job and the position that I have now is in no way what I wanted to do, what I got my 2 degress for, or what they said that it would be. Another problem that I am having with this job is that I always have people breathing down my neck and more or less talking about me for one reason or another. I truly believe that it is jealousy because I am a young, good looking, male teacher who has a dual masters degree and is getting paid very well considering that this is my first "real" job. I really don't know what it is, but this place is the pits!!!! I have already started looking for another job, and already my current job is asking me to get "notes" about what i am doing and when I am doing it like I am a .... I have to get out of here ASAP..........I want to burn this place to the ground, yuppie, rich folks......

thats whats great about this site and these forums, it brings all the people with issues together! In my opinion, with mine and Chaos's situation, or at least in my own, I am so freeken worried that I will inadvertantly do something stupid and the reasons for this are numerous but it all comes down to the fact that I have read and received so much advice since breakin up with my ex and I truly think that I did learn from the experience but now is the test and I'm nervous and apprehensive and yes its fun but also stressful. I guess in many ways I'm still broken and am looking for reassurance in the form of someone (this girl) telling me that I'm everything that they are looking for which is a lot to ask of someone. I too have issues, but you all truly do help because with out you all I think my brain would explode!

yeah, you are right in almost all that you are saying. I know that I'm being stupid about this and that I should just roll with the punches and take things as they come and realize that with her calling and texting and asking to hang out and having me over and all that it means that she does care in some way and that she does in fact "like" me but for some reason, I would just love some sort of positive, no frills, concretete affirmation of the way that she feels and what she is thinking. I know that that is not going to happen, but it would be nice as helol if it did! Th only thing that I can do is be myself and act right. I don't want to play games, I really don't but I also do not want her to think that I am "needy" and dependant on her because I am not. I want to remain attractive and somewhat aloof so that I do not do something that will in fact diminish her desires if that makes any sense. I need to stop all this overthinking and just let things be....but like I said before, I do not want to mess things up nor do I want this "new" thing whatever it may be to become old to her because we have been spending a lot of time together. I just wish again that I had some sort of legitimate clue/proof of her feelings just to be able to put myself at ease.

well, I hung out with her last night as per her request. We just chilled in her house in her room and watched a movie. I more or less just layed next to her on her bed having minimal contact pretty much until the end of the movie when she began to get a bit flirty and I ended up kinda holding her for the remainder of the film. I had to go, being that I live about a half hour away and it was getting late and she walked me out and we had a very nice kiss and all that. I really like spending time with her! I have made a decision, it may sound stupid, but I think that I need to do this for myself and also to prove to myself that I am not the only one puttin in effort on this one. I think that I am goign to back off a little bit and see what she does, how she proceeds. I think that this will help me to better gage her "commitment" to whats goign on with us and also, as selfish and immature as this sounds, it will ghive me a much better indication as to where she stands, whether or not she really wants similar things that I do....we shall see I guess

yeah man, it is pretty freaky! I just hung out with "my girl" last night just to watch a movie. The strange thing is, is that there are times when I feel that I am putting in so much more effort than she is when in reality, she is the one that asked me to come over and she is the ne that calls me most of the time. What I think it is, is that we both are moving into an area that we are not used to and have not been in for quite some time and are scared to f*ck things up! I know that I like this gilr a lot, but am so worried about somehow messing things up that I let my thoughts and emotions get the best of me at times and I begin to over analyze things like a god damn psycho! When this happens, we just need to stop and think about whats going on and realize that its all in our heads....good luck to you bro!