Dogg

yeah I know that we have not known each other for that long, thats is why I did not want to do the whole gift thing to begin with, but at the same time I can't not get her anything knowing that she has or is getting me something cause that is a scumbag move. No, I have not seen her room yet, but I do like the perfume idea! Any ohter thoughts would be great cause time is running out!

hello all, things are going well. no complaints. I have been thinking as I have been rereading all of my posts here about what if anything I should do fr my ex for christmas. I have decided to do ABSOLUTLRY NOTHING AT ALL. I did the whole card thing for her birthday, got a text in response, thats it. If she wants to contact me, so be it, but I know that I am strong enough now and that I have other things going for me that it is really no concern of mine whether she decides to contact me or not, to be honest, I do not even really care anymore, I waited and pined over her long enough and I am now having a great time with a new girl, whos company and companionship (not sure if this is even a word) I really enjoy! this brings me to my next quandry: This new girl has been telling me repeatedly and dropping hints to me about christmas and the fact that she IS getting me something. she continually asks me if I "like this" or whether I "like that" whenever we are out and about. I told her not to get me anything, but I feel that she may have already done so. Anyway, I wanted to know, what would be a really nice, thoughtful and appropriate gift to get for her. I want to get her something that shows that I care, but that is not too over the top. I was thinking, that I could maybe get her a nnice perfume set (there is this really nice coolwater for women set that I LOVE the smell of) but I am kinda stumped due to the fact that I am your typical guy who more or less sucks at shopping and does not enjoy it in the least bit! anyones help and suggestions are greatly appreciated! thanks....

just an update, I went out for drinks with this new girl again after work yesterday. Again, had an awesome time, so much so in fact that I took the step of inviting her to the local pub that my buddies and I go to almost every monday to watch monday night football and eat wings (I aksed the fellas first of course if they minded that a chick be around and they said no, and that actually it would make it kinda fun to have her around casue they like her) anyway, things went great! I could really see myself falling for this chick eventually, I am still trying to take things slow though, she keeps telling me how into me she is which make sme feel really good! I have said some very nice things to her as well, but I am trying to keep my emotions guarded. again, I do not want to rush into things, just take them as they come and kinda roll with the punches so to speak. I do really enjoy this girls company though.....we'll see how things go, I'll keep you posted!

I was just rereading this thread and all of the ridiculous things that I said in it! talk about being a weak loser!!! ha ha ha! anyway, I just wanted to say that I am very happy that I decided after everything not to let the stories of this new girls past scare me away. I realized that the past is the past and the now and the future is all that really matters. I realized this by rereading my thread and other things that i have posted and thinking that if anyone was to judge me on my past, where would I be, nowhere, thats where!!!!! I am happy that I gave thids chick a chance! It did not backfire! or at least yet...ha ha ha

thnxs kellbell! I appreciate your kind words and constant encouragement! I must admit, I am interested in this new chick, she is great! I am a little nervous though about he fact that she seems to be SOOOOO interested in me, I have not had that in a while and I almost don't know how to respond to it...Also, I do want to take things slow with her and anyone else for that matter, I still want to meet new people too, is that bad, I don't think it is. I have been in a relationship for three years I don't want to just jump right nback into one right away....is this ok, how do I make this clear to the new girl, I think that I did, but I'm not sure and I don't want tto push her away or make her feel badly....I do like her after all....

just wanted to add that I feel that this huge wait has been lifted off my soulders! I am not constantly thinking about the ex anymore (I still do, but nowhere near as much as befroe) I feel like I have my confidence back! I feel good! I feel like I am getting bcak a part of me that was just simply drained away by the constant arguing and fighting with the ex towards the end of our relatinship! I feel like I have control over myself again! I hope that I can make these feelings last and become the man that I was and the man that I know that I can be! thanks again!

I am writing here now just to keep myself busy being that I'm at work and the students don't come in for another 1/2 hour so here I go.... anyway, thanks to those of you that responded with kind words, I truly appreciate it. As for things with the ex, screw her in my mind right now! I sent her the birthday card, she sent me a text thanking me on thursday (her birthday) and that was it, I DID NOT RESPOND, didn't want to, had nothing left to say and plus I was on a date. SCREW HER, like I said, she is gonna have to work real hard at this if she ever wants anything between us again! anyway, I have been hagin with this new giirl since thursday, she is great! totally changed my perspective about the possibilities of meeting people on-line! I can't remember if I had mentioned that I had asked her to attend an christmas party thrown by one of my good friends at his condo, If I had mntioned already, sorry for repeating myself. She came with me, it was a great time yet again! she has no problem meeting all of my friends, they seem to enjoy her as well! she can definitly hold her own, and that says a lot about her because my friends will be the first to tell you that you suck if in fact you do, ha ha ha!! She is just a lot of fun, and even my boys agree! so, after a long evening of laughing and drinking (alize and champagne to be exact, yes I hhave class!!!!) we went back to my house because we were both a little drunk and she lives at least 20 minutes away so she stayed with me. I will not fill you in on the explicit details on the remainder of the evening, but I'm sure that you all can firgure out the events that transpired after we arrived at my house! all I will say is WHOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!!!!! anyway, I drove her home the next day (sunday). she sent me a mesage on myspace that more or less told me that she is developing "strong" feelings for me that she was so glad that we came upon each other and that I am everything that she has always wanted in a man, (she then listed qualities) and she said that she just wanted to let me know exactly what she was feeling and that she hopes that I do not get scared off by this. I responded by saying that I was very glad that I had met her as well, that I was more and more impressed with her everyday and that I really enjoyed her company! Also I told her that my friends like her and enjoy her as well and how important that is to me and that it also saysd a lot abouther and the type of person she is! I ended by saying that I would like to definietly continue seeing her, taking things not to fast and just seeing the way that things pan out, no pressure involved and that I hope that she could understand that...I hope she did not take that in the wrong way, I guess I will see later...so that is my story of this weekend...thanks again to all who have helped me to get this far!!! I love you alll and would not be here where I am with out you!

well, yes my date went VERY well!!!! actually, she called me yesterday asking if I wanted to hang out with her again. I said sure but that I had already made plans to go out with the boys but that she was more than welcome to come along. I picked up my boys, went to pick her up and we all went 0ut together. She is awesome!!! has no problems hangin witht her guys, can more than hold her own, my friends like her, what more can you say....I really enjoy spending time with her. I am playing it really cool too. this girl is all about me right now!!! she textxs and calls me, and sends me messages on myspace and everything!!! my confidence is back and I feel pretty darn good about myself right now. still think abouyt the ex a lot, but I haven't responded to her thanking me for the birthday card. If she wants me back, now she will really have to work at it!!!! Anyway, i am taking this new girl to a christmas party at one of my friends condos tonight, she seemed really excited that I asked her. I just have to make sure that this does not go to fast because I am not really sure that I am willing to jump right in to another serious relationship, but I am enjoying dating this chick a lot! thanks to all of you out there that have been there to listen to me whine and cry and ask for advice and to those that provided it to me. I would not be here without you all!!!!

I sent her a card not expecting anything in return at all. then I went out on a date last night with a new girl. while we were out, of course, the ex texts me! I played it off like it was a friend, no big deal, it didn't cause any problem at all. Anyway, she said "thank you very much for the card, that was very nice of you." I did not and will not respond. I had a REALLY good time on the date by the way! and one sxxy lady, i don't get your joke...

and she tells ME to grow up.....ha ha ha

here we go, today is the day (her birthday) and suprisingly I do not feel nearly as "strung out" as I had felt previously. I don't know why...I still do not know what I am going to do, if anything at all for that matter. I was thinking that I may just wait a day or so then mail the card, just so she gets that feeling of anxiety that i did nothing for her, maybe freaks out a little, but yet I'm still not the bad guy or the jerk who forgot her birthday because the card will arrive a couple days later...that is the idea that just popped into my head just now, it might be stupid and childish, but I kinda like the sound of it in a way. On the other hand I may take some of your suggestions and just send her a simple text message saying "happy birthday, have a great day" nothing more...I'm still not sure......

it seems to me a little strange that in your first post you were so proud of yourself for coming up with this little "fun nc "test" and how you said that you were "going to try an experiment with this No Contact concept" and that you said that you are "just interested to see who reacts to your NC first". Its seems to me again that you were looking to make yourself look good because you have two guys after you, kind of ike you were bragging. from the way that you put things in your frist post, there is no way that you are doing this so that step back and reevaluate the situation. you made a game out of this, you called it an experiment, you even went as far as to make up RULES!!!!!!! Then you get all types of defensive when poeple tell you that what you are doing is wrong. you begin trying to defend yourself by more or less saying the complete opposite things that you originally said. there are two words to describe that, they are HYPOCRITICAL and FAKE. I put in more than my two cents, peace out on this one...

and one sxxy lady, you need a reality check!!!! I'm just calling it like I see it...

think before you speak, if I have shunned everyones advice, then why have I been in NC for so long, and why have I been talking to other girls (even though she turned out to be the poster child for having issues)????? just to put things in perspective for ya, what would you do if someone was doing this to you?

you are right, pulling her chair out from under her at her brother's funeral IS a downright dastardley and terrible thing to do to someone, what type of person do you have to be to do something like that to someone you "love".......at the same time, its downright F*CKEN HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but only to hear about from someone that you just met online and haven't even seen in person yet....who says that to someone they are trying to date? might as well wear a big blingking sign on your head that says "STAY AWAY I HAVE MAJOR ISSUES"

all the things that I said in my above posts happened much longer than a month ago bro, if it was that recent, I would NEVER ever talk to this girl one more time....

I gotta start taking advice from the one man who seems to have it all together, the one and only, SNOOP DOGG!!!!! "we don't love these hoes, i'm out the door!" ha ha ha at least I am starting to find thigs humerous again...sorry about that one everyone!!!

oh another thing that she (this new chick) was that she has stories like that about guys being ridiculous to her going back to when she was 16!!! I don't know if I can handle all that baggage, or if I even want to try......

GOOD FOR YOU BRO!!!!!! you give us all hope!!!! I ma truly happy for you, I've followed your story from the get go and you F*cken did it!!!!!! GOOD WORK MY FRIEND. Now, I agree with superdave71, let her call you!!!!! another word of advice from me to you, this should not be taken lightly, you must tread softly here so as not to F*CK ANYTHING UP!!!!!!!! I wish you all the best bro, keep us informed of all goings on with your story!!!!!!

here we go, today is the day (her birthday) and suprisingly I do not feel nearly as "strung out" as I had felt previously. I don't know why...I still do not know what I am going to do, if anything at all for that matter. I was thinking that I may just wait a day or so then mail the card, just so she gets that feeling of anxiety that i did nothing for her, maybe freaks out a little, but yet I'm still not the bad guy or the jerk who forgot her birthday because the card will arrive a couple days later...that is the idea that just poppe din ot my head just now, it might be stupid and childish, but I kinda like the sound of it in a way. On the other hand I may take some of your suggestions and just send her a simple text message saying "happy birthday, have a great day" nothing more...I'm still not sure...... On another note, the girl that I have been talking to online, and for one reason or another have just not been able to get together with due to conflicting schedules let me in on some things about her that made me a bit uneasy last night. she is 24 by the way. she told me that she has been engaged befroe to a guy that (get this) is now in jail for assault in the third degree!!!! she says that thay are never getting back together. Oh but wait it gets worse, she said that he was abusive and hit her and stuff and did ridiculous things like for example, pulling her chair out from under her at her BROTHER'S FUNERAL!!!!!! anyway, she said that he was abusive and thats why they LOST THEIR BABY!!!!!!!!!!! After I heard those BOMBSHELLS, I got a little weary of the whole situation as could be expected. I just got out (or was forced out to be more real about the situation) of a three year relationship a little more than one month ago...do I really need this drama right now? that is what I keep asking myself. Do I want to try to "get to know" someone that is carrying around that much baggage with them and has that kind of history? I do not know what to think or what to do. the thought of all that she was telling me about her situation, just made me think of my ex and the fact that she came with nothing in terms of a tumultuos past like that. In fact, her past was very inviting! Damn, what do I do now, It just makes me realize how truly special my ex really is and how much of a great girl she was and is....

I kind of agree with the statement that sending a card is putting a bit to much effort into someone that dumped you, WOW what a kisk in the nuts that statement was, but it was a good kick in the nuts, I think that is the one that I needed. I am now leaning towards a text saying happybirthday or something...anyone have anysuggestions as to EXACTLY what to write so that my mind and imaginatin do not begin to run wild on me like they have in the past...

if I'm fighting NC so badly, then how come I have not said a thing to her in a long time? you come down prety hard sometimes man, and some of the things that you say are very disrespectful. I was simply seeking advice, no I do not have expectatins other than I think that I will feel terribly guilty and bad for not dong SOMETHING that says happy birthday. she was my best frined, confidant, lover and everything else for three years man, I do still love her. think what you want, I'm not trying to give myself a reason to break NC, if I was doing that then I would have alrady done it...this is for her, but for me as well, and I expect nothing in return at all, say what you want man, I'm still not sure if I will send it or not...

I just do not really see the point of not sendnign her a card. Yes, I did learn from thanksgiving, I learned not to be such a blithering idiot and send her ridiculous text messages about things that I'm feeling. I learned that I will and can't do that again, and I know that I won't!!!! I just feel that sending her a nice simple card is the right things to do, to show her that I do care and that I did remember her birthday. we were together for three years, I don't want to look like an a** hole either, and again I know that some of you will say that it doesn't matter, but it does nto me if I have hopes of ever getting her back EVER...why are you all so adamit about not sending her a card? I really would like to know, I do not expect a response at all, nor will I be waiting by the phone for one, nor will I text her or call her afterwards, this is just to let her know that I was thinking of her on her birthday and that I care...whats wrong with that? I'm really not being a jerk and shooting down what epople are saying or their advice, I just don't really understand it...or the reasons behind it...please explain so that I can see better...

well after some careful thinking and much deliberating, I went out during my lunch today and picked out a birthday card for my ex. it is a very simple card that says not much more than something like you are a very special person, wishing you the best on your birthday or somehting to that effect. i am back at work, the card is in my car, I have not filled it out yet, 1. becaus I do not know what to write, 2. because I'm still not sure if should send it or not. Also, if I want her to get it on her birthday (tomorrow) I wuld have to drop it of in her mailbox tomorrow after work while she is still working which is no big deal because she gets off at 6 and I get off at 3, but I'm worried how she may take that...like I'm driving by her house and stuff which I'm not at all...what do you all think????????

well, my "date" did not happen last night. we spoke and just decided that it more or less was not a good day for either of us. I was truly and honestly not at all disappointed but actually a bit releived as ridiculous as that sounds. the thought of going on a date was really making me feel quite uneasy and nervousa like I was doing somehting wrong! I think that it may be the fact that tomorrow is my ex's birthday and that I am still wondering and soul searching about what if anything I should do about it? I think that I am going to send a card today, or maybe just a quick text tomorrow, or do nothing....I don't even know anymore, all I do know is that I still think about her and care about her immensly and do not want her to think that I am a huge a** hole for not remembering her birthday, I know alot of you will say that that does not matter and that I should not care about what she thinks, but I do.