elhombre

I read the poem and thats how it seems. Im shy and she is too. I just dont want to pass this oppurtunity up. We have been through alot and if it didnt work I care so much that I would still want to be friends. That poem really made me think man.

Oh man........so much is going on. THese girls out here have me going man! Anyhew,here i go again.I went out with my best friend (whom was my highschool crush, which she was well aware of) whom ive know for like 10 years. well we go to a bar and were all hanging out having a good time. Well as were hanging out she asks me a question that totally blows me away. SHe asks me "when are you gonna be my boyfriend?" i didnt believe what i heard. SHes never asked anything like that. I asked her to repeat herself as i wasnt believing what i heard. She asked me again! I reacted by making a dumb joke. but then told her i would be her boyfriend when she got rid of her current one. we both laughed it off. the place was noisy and she would move in closer to speak to me. but the thing was she didnt talk in my ear, she would get right up in my face with our lips being an inch away from each others. literally. then she went on discussing to me that she not married to her boyfriend and so theres no real commitment and that she thinks about the temptation to cheat when she goes out to bars. i notice that we look at each other and she gives me these warm looks. she goes on talking about sex and making out. she has a boyfriend. thats what held me back. been there and dont wanna do it again. that question and her behavior got me and im still thinking about it. what do you folks think? could she be interested?

oh man, what to say, what to say. The fact that we been friends for so long makes it weird. how does one break the ice in this situation?

If you have read my previous post about my situation with an old friend of mine, this thread is an update. Anyhow, we continue to hang out, however nothing has happened yet. But I have noticed a few things that make me think. Im really begin think that she just may be interested. WEll just the other night i had a small get together at my house. She was there along with another old female friend of mine. We were all conversating when my other female friend mentioned that i had nice physical features and should model. The one girl im interested immediately agrees and goes on talking about my "nice full lips" and starts blowing my kisses. What a confidence booster. lol. Along with that, its just little things. HEr calling me "papi chulo" (spanish for "hot guy" or "stud"), her hugging me, playfully patting my head and looking me in the face while being a goofily singing songs, resting her feet right beside me on the chair im sitting on. I can see that physical contact is increasing. But i also noticed she kinda shys away when we are alone. Last night at one point i just wanted to just peck her on the lips but was reluctant to to her pushing me away after a previous attempt years ago. I really wanted to just give her a lil peck on the lips. the way she openly talked about casual sex and her mastubation habits really blew me away but made me think. she may not be the girlfriend type. but i wouldnt mind a casual thing. should i make the first move? how should i make the first move? I was really thinking about giving her a peck on the lips. as it looked like a had a few chances as we were alone a few times and she would tell me to look at her face to assess her condition i guess (she had a few drinks). I wanted to give her peck right then and there. Is it the right thing to do? SHe seems interested. oh what to do. oh what to do.

Man Im a mess, but here I go again. Lol. I have known this one girl since I was 14. We hang out and drink together. One time a few years back we were pretty drunk and she was feeling playful and pulled my shirt up and starting writing such phrases as "flaco rico" all over my bare chest (spanish for hot thin guy). Anyhow I had the feeling she was into me so I went in for a kiss and was pushed away. Maybe i went about it the wrong way but who knows. I felt horrible. but we remained friends anyway. Well we kinda lost contact and then we started hanging out a few weeks ago again. Well I noticed her hanginng out with me alot more. One time while she was around I was discussing my issues with overweight women and how I am put off by just a few extra pounds. She then says "so I dont have a chance?" but I disregarded what she said and laughed it off. Well a week later were in my apartment drinking and she asks if she could spend the night at my place (meanwhile she lives not even two blocks away and I could have easily just walked her home). Well were sitting around drinking and she would just look over at me and laugh. Made me think she had something on her mind. Well anyway, she spent the night at my place, however I didnt try anything out of fear of being pushed away again. Next day she leaves and goes home and I tell my brother and ask what he thinks of the situation. He immediately tells me that she of course wanted to hook up with me. I felt bad about letting the oppurtunity pass me by. However we speak again online and i invite her to drink at my place again and she accepts my invitation. That day comes around and I dont hear from her. I text her and called her cell. Nothing. Maybe she was tired after coming back home from work, I dunno. Im left wondering whats the deal with this girl? Is she interested? what do you folks think?

I am indeed losing touch with the outside world and not by choice either. I feel totally out of place in my environment. I live 15 minutes from Manhattan, so my area is very urban and absolutely full of crime and filth. Its a cesspool. Im not talking about small time petty pot peddlers kicking nickle bags on the corner. The things that go on out here are serious, theres a serial rapist who has gone around raping women and has slit one of his victims throat, alot of kids out here are in gangs and are stabbing and shooting each other, muggings occur all the time, the local park is a sort of flea market for those peddling heroin (thats why the the park is not a good hang out spot),rising murder rate.....its not a very nice place to live. There are no groups in my area dedicated to outdoorsman which sucks for me since anything I enjoy doing involves the wilderness. Things like fishing, hunting, hiking, camping, looking for indian arrowheads, etc. I cannot do here. I study biology in college, but people there are so stuck up and it is rather hard to approach them, as for meeting people at work, I live off ebay so it aint happening. I do want to meet new people but its just not happening. As for finding myself, pot has become a way of me to find myself as it tends to open and expand my mind. I find it to be therapeutic, but who knows perhaps it is bring me down. All in all I just dont know what to do.

Well........here I go again. Jeez, I dont even know where to start. Ive been losing touch with the world and I cant even help it. For the past three years I have had a "falling out" with society. Its like im losing my life slowly, dying little by little. I wasnt always like this though. Although I have been unhappy most of my life, as a teenager the days seemed to be alot brighter and happier for reasons unknown to myself I was able to blend in with society, or so it seemed to me. They seemed like much better days. Over the years I have found it harder to talk to people. Throughout my highschool days and my early years of college I had my share of girlfriends along with several other girls who were clearly interested. Now I dont even feel or maybe even know how to go about talking to women. The fact that I lack a car doesnt really earn me any points with women either. The women I have been with in the past years have done nothing but harm and use me in the end. I dont like going outside anymore. These city streets are a ghetto and unsafe. I dont like going to bars, comedy clubs, clubs, dance halls (hate dancing). As an avid outdoorsman theres not much I can do in this concrete jungle. The friends I have had have done nothing but harm to me by bringing cocaine to my house and bringing me down with them. I have gotten rid of them. The few good friends I had drifted away and forgot about me. Now I have no one to hang out with or even talk to. I was one who was able to mingle when I was younger. Now interaction with other people seems to be getting harder and harder for me, especially at college where everyone seems to be so stuck up. All I do these days is sit alone in my apartment everyday and studying, smoking pot occasionally. Things have been this way for several years and there is no sign of hope in sight. Im losing touch with the world. Ive become a social misfit. I feel as if there is nothing I can do to make the situation better as it will only get worse. After several years of this, I begin to wonder, maybe life is not for me.

Well here goes nothing. Anyhow i hang out with two old high school friends of mine almost everyday. Now these two guys snort cocaine everyday. I have snorted cocaine in the past but I mostly smoke marijuana. The problem is that these guys come over and offer me coke and I take it. Now after a few weeks of this I have been telling myself that im going to refuse their offers of cocaine. However as they keep coming to my house and offering me coke, I keep taking it. I have told these guys that I dont want to sniff anymore but they laugh it off as if Im not capable of quitting. Now I dont go out and blow all my money on it, I snort it when they bring it here (which is about everyday). Im beginning to get real disgusted with myself and am thinking about cutting these guys off. I feel theyre just bringing me down with them. Any suggestions?

Well here it goes. After quite some time of exchanging glances and small talk. Me and my neighbor exchanged numbers. She wasted no time in getting to know me better and called me up a couple of hours after we exchanged numbers. We clicked so well. We hung out the next day and ended up at my house that night watching movies with and having a kissing session afterwards in the dark. Theres one problem however. She had been on and off with her boyfriend (whom she had been demonizing the whole time we talked to each other). After just a few days of us talking to each other she told me she had worked things out with her boyfriend and that they were getting back together. Shortly after that, perhaps a week later, we were talking again and messing around with each other. Then it happens again, I get dumped because she decides she wants her Ex back. This went on for a month. The last time it happened we got into quite an argument. I had been the "other guy". Well we had stopped talking for nearly six months. I would see her and her BF happily going about their business during these six months. I would run into her on the street alone and we wouldnt say a word to each other. Then one day as I was riding the bus I heard my name being called. I look up to see my neighbor sitting accross from me, smiling at me. We talked on the bus ride back home and exchanged numbers (she had changed her number so that I wouldnt call her or at least that what Im thinking). Over the next few days we reconciled with each other and vow not to ruin our friendship. She told me how she was no longer with her bf although he called her once in a while to bother her. This time we kept our relationship on a friends only level although we would cuddle at times while listening to music in the dark and she also admitted to being attracted to me. Not to mention all the playful flirting that would take place. But our newfound friendship wouldnt be without its problems. As one day the Ex bf called her cell phone. Not wishing to speak to him she answers the phone and shoves it in my face so that i would talk to him. I foolishly complied and acted as if he had the wrong number. He didnt buy it and it only pissed him off so i just hung up. The next day as me and her are walking back to my place hes spots us and a brawl nearly takes place between me and him. She was the cause of this in my eyes, but she vows to never speak to him again for his displayof blatant disrespect. Well, as the days go on things between me and my neighbor get awkward almost as her playful attitiude towards me fades away and she begins doing strange things like getting up and leaving while we are in the middle of watching a movie to see a "friend" (meanwhile she has little or no friends at all). I would get 4-5 phone calls from her before her change in attitude and now she would goy days without calling me. She no longer would engage in the deep converstaions we had and would no long open up to me. I was losing her. Then one day she changed her cell phone number. I couldnt take her shadiness anymore so I told her that we probably shouldnt be friends if she was going to continue in that fashion. And so it was, we had stopped talking to each other and stopped being friends. Shortly afterwards I saw her with her Ex Boyfriend once again. We got along so well when we would talk to each other and even seemed to care for one another at one point. Was I a fool for talking to her on the bus that day? Is it a waste to wish her back again? SHould I contact her? Should i forget and move one? Is she even worth contacting? I miss this girl sometimes.

Well here it goes. Years back when I was in high school I dated this girl for a little more than a year and a half. We broke up because our feelings for each other faded away. I have not seen her in years, although I do talk to her on AIM once in a blue moon. Anyhow, I would see her friends around every so often and would greet them and what not but one of her friends has always stuck out to me. This was her best friend. Her best friend and I would have conversations online that would last for hours. I was there for her when she needed someone to talk to in times of need. Since me and her friend broke up, we have not seen each other although he have crossed paths at school every once in a while. But we always talked online. Then for about a year all communication stopped. Then recently I learned that she had been at my house with a some guy who plays guitar with my brother (theyre just friends). She had asked for me, but I was not home. It was then that she revealed that my ex would discuss personal things about our love life with her and that she interested in seeing what my ex told her about (trying to keep this clean). Now this girl has said that she thought I was attractive and acts somewhat flirty when I did run into her ( giggly, touchy, eye contact). Well anyhow I found her number in an old phonebook and decided to text her. She called me back and we sort of caught up.We were happy to hear from each other again and she told me she was no longer friends with my ex. We agreed to meet up sometime and hang out. We exchanged numbers and she called me a few days later wanting to come to my house and visit me. When she got to my house we did some catching up. Talked about the days when we were younger and in highschool, times we have partied, and discussing how crazy it was how time flies and that we go way back. All the while I noticed her being touchy with me (patting me, playing with my goatee, etc.) and we looked into each others eyes alot and smiled. Now I dont now how this girl feels about me but im started to become attracted to her. I know neither of us no longer talk to my ex but is this wrong? Is it wrong to spend time with her? Is it wrong that I want to pursue her? Is this girl interested in me? Would it be wrong to try and pursue something with her? As this girl begins to text me and call me more and more all these questions are looming over my head. WHat should I do? Thanks in advance.