scatcatfhsu

Plus, they'll both (especially the top one) let him "punch around on them" (just playing) and giggle or whatever.

I'm very confused here. Usually, I'm really, really outgoing and am usually pretty popular with the ladies but there are two that I really seem to like that really don't even give me time of day other than a simple "hi". And what's so bad is that there is a really shy and moody guy (nothing against him) that they ALWAYS try to talk to (just about). For instance, the one I REALLY like, will ask him how his day is and, if he says "not so well", or something, she'll be like, "What's wrong? You can talk to me." She'll stick her hand out for a "five" (open palm, which I've heard means interest), and will always try and talk about something that interests him. For example, he's a really HUGE Grand Theft Auto video game fan, and she'll always laugh or giggle if she sees a traffic jam or something and say, "it's just like the Grand Theft Auto game..." And, it may not matter to anybody else, but I love for somebody to call me by my name because I feel like it means I was important to them... but she'll never call me by my name. And for him, "Hi Winsor". "I hope you have a good weekend Winsor." "Winsor (in weird voice), how are you?" Lately, she'll go to lunch with him if he asks and is always overheard (by other girls) saying, "You can talk to me about ANYTHING". The other girl will throw a fit over his cell phone and be like, you have to give us all five (a bunch of girls in a group) just like one of your favorite football teams would do. But a lot of times, it's as if he's rude or not interested in any of them (although I think it's really plain he likes the top one). Why would they be interested in a guy this shy and backwards? I mean, I think he's really cool and all (when you get to know him), but the moodiness would kill me. I mean, God, even my sister's best friend will give him second looks. Do they have an interest in him or are they just trying to help him overcome his shyness? Do i have a chance with either? SCATCATFHSU

No. But I mean, she hasn't really invited him... Only told him where she was going or has gone a time or two if he's asked.

Yeah, but don't you think she would have tried to encourage him more about going to lunch? And I mean, the only other time he asked her, she invited two other girls.

Could it be that she just really wants to be really good friends with him and nothing more? I mean, like today, she says, "I saw that the Bears beat the Jets... That's too bad". And, after he had said something about wandering what he was going to do for lunch, she said, "I'm going to stay around here today and get ready for finals but I am going just over to the Chick-Fil-A (or wherever) and if you want that, you can come." I mean, doesn't this just mean she doesn't consider him relationship material? I mean, watching the football game (or just hte highlights or whatever) is like something a friend would do for you. I mean, what do you guys think?

I mean, not saying I disagree... because I feel like she has no interest (or very little).

How exactly can they be crazy for each other, though, if they aren't dating?

Oh... And I tried talking to her about sports one day (just to see if she like them) and she was like, "I know nothing about sports." Then, Monday, she told him, "I know you really love the Jets. I'm not familiar with them or the other team but I've been to N.Y. before so I guess that was reason enough for me to pull for the Jets. How did they do?"

Hey, I've did everything I could to try and be friendly to this girl that I really, really, really like and it's almost as if she doens't even know I'm around. I know she KNOWS I'm around, but it's as if she couldn't care less or just ignores it. I really go out of my way to try and talk to her or be friendly to her and she seems to like another guy much better... I mean, I know I'm 23 and have nothing but a High School education and don't own a house yet, but shouldn't she at least pay me attention by me trying to be nice? There's another guy that is totally unstable (not like violently unstable but emotionally so) and she is always trying to DO THINGS for him. He's always thinking that people are mad at him and, just yesterday, walked up to her and was like, "I'm really trying to stay out of your way because I know you are mad" and she goes up to him two different times in the day and goes to trying to talk about all kinds of things she doesn't know about to try and get him over it. And then, on Halloween, she brought him candy and was like, "I wanted to bring these to you because I know you like candy." When there is a class project and he's going to go off on his own somewhere and try and do it, she'll always be like, "Come sit with me and do it." UGH... And yesterday, she's like, "I could never see you doing anything that would upset me in any way." AND SHE'S ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HIM KNOWING KARATE. And she STAYS onto him about participating with the rest of the class... So the class is going to do a Thanksgiving dinner and she says yesterday, "I'm going to make something really delicious like homemade macaroni and cheese because I know you'll love that" to him. And the one that worries me more than anything... Him saying, "We should talk for like eight hours one day..." and her quickly responding, "YES. We really should..." I'm lost here. Do I have a chance? Or, are these two people just crazy over each other and don't know what to do about it?

And it could be my own fault for trying to pretend I'm someone different than me. It's about this girl that I had an interest in and, as I said before, she seemed far more interested in the quiet guy that had nothing to do with her. But it just hurts now because (even though I KNOW they aren't going out) they'll actually stop by different places to see one another and will then "thank" one another for stopping by to talk. THey'll also recognize hwo much they have in common and they'll hammer each other with some pretty mean insults (just to play around) and they always find something humorous about one another. And she'll always talk about him being kind, thoughtful, and sweet. Should the lesson I take out of this be that she is in love (or really, really likes the other guy) and that maybe I should have been myself to try and be with her other than being someone I'm not?

If a girl is going to call you things such as sweet, kind, and go as far as to say that they enjoy their conversations with you, do they consider me friend material or possibly more? She's never actually called me sweet or kind in anything other than an e-mail, but she has came by to talk to me at times that, in my opinion, she would have obviously been coming (meaning that she had no other reason to come unless she intended on talking to me). She travels a lot with her job but just sort of comes around when she isn't traveling (which sure isn't often enough). I had read at one time that if a girl so much as called you sweet, you could just consider yourself a friend -- is this true?

Yeah, probably just having fun. I second you on the dinner date!! What do you think about the family fighting, though?

Brandy- I'm not really great at giving out advice and, if you'll just look at my profile, I've been here asking for advice more than anybody. But, I feel like I've learned a thing or two by reading everybody else's posts. I'm not sure what I think about the whole deal with him wearing those things. I guess to each their own and that's coming from a fairly religious guy. I guess it could be one of those spur-of-the-moment things, but I'll tell you one thing I would be aware of -- and probably more aware of them him wearing the women's clothing. You should be careful with the fact that he doesn't get along with his sister. My brother married a girl back last December who doesn't get along with her brother and it really hasn't been anything but a thorn in my brother's side. I'm not trying to get you to break up with him all on the count of his sister but I'm just saying you might want to pay it some careful attention. You don't want to get married and then be bogged down by a family war between two siblings that you married into. That's just my call on that. As for the women's clothing, it may have just been a one time thing and it might not even be anything to be alarmed about. I've actually heard of guys doing similar things to that before and live in a community that is entirely too small and sometimes hosts what they call a "Womanless Beauty Pagaent". I've never been so I can't tell you what happens, but I think there is a round in dresses and a round in a swimsuit but again, I haven't been. If he was to go around wearing lingerie, you might want to think it over again. LOL. ScatCatFHSU

But do you think she has an interest in him?

And that's what really kind of bothers me... I mean, I really TRY and TALK to her and "place myself" around her, but it's almost as if it's not registering or she just isn't interested. And I'm the type of person that prefers being called by my name (and I'm not even sure she can recall my name... even though I've talked to her several times). The other guy? Very quiet and shy... but I think he sort of has an advantage with looks (according to a few girls conversations that have been overheard). It probably also isn't hurting him that he keeps upping credentials (more and more education). But here's the deal... he just seems so unpredictable (you'll never know if he'll speak or just be quiet) and it would appear that she is TRYING to RECOGNIZE him. For instance, one other person said (yesterday), "Now here's a guy that always stays busy and I guarantee probably none of you have seen him as he just sort of stays to himself..." and she's in the background looking directly at him and SMILING so wide every tooth in her mouth is showing and EYEBALLING him eye contact to eye contact. Plus, he'll sometimes just be looking off or somethign whenever she comes around and she'll almost always call him by his name and ask him something such as "How are you doing" "What's up?" or something along those lines... The only thing I have heard about her is that she doesn't want anything serious right now... but could it be that she sees him as a primary option? On the flip side, I'll even say that he can be VERY INTERESTING if you can just get him to open up. He can go from subjects as varied to the environment, the business world, sports, different cultures, video games, or weather in a split second. And that's one thing I hear all of the women around him say... If he doesn't show up somewhere, and he often doesn't, "they are like, where is he? he's really interesting." Is her interest in HIM?? Should I just start a new search?

What are some signs that someone might be in a relationship already? I feel like, at least, someone wouldn't agree to go out with you or whatever if they were already in a relationship (unless they were unhappy in it). But, if she wants a friend of hers to come along with her (that's another female) for something as tiny as lunch or dinner, does it mean she may already be committed? This seems to be a gray area as I am most often told that it likely means she isn't in a relationship (becuase the majority thinks they would simply have said "no"), but might not initially be comfortable.

Oh, the gaze wasn't that quick. She just walked by and (while walking) made a constant look in his direction until past our door... She never even acknowledged my side of the office.

I don't know if this will help, but to me, trying to find attraction in the workplace among co-workers is kind of difficult. I mean, in most cases, you just kind of "grow" so close to everybody that it is almost like family, and you'd miss any sure signs that might come along. However, if you work in different areas of the bar (or what have you), one sign that I have ALWAYS been confused about (that seems kind of logical) is if somebody makes eye contact and stuff with you OFTEN. There's this guy that I work with that is VERY QUITE and just sort of stays to himself, but a girl that started about two months ago seems to always find a way (or at least that is my viewpoint to see him). Now when she does, she never really says anything, she just keeps the smile and maintains the eye contact. He's a great guy but it takes him quite a while to open up to anybody. And maybe he has something on me, you know? Maybe he just sort of seems mysterious to these girls and it pulls them in.... Anyways, it's all over the office (among the women folk, at least) that she does have some interest in him. I noticed yesterday (I work in the same office with him) that she walked right by our office (on a different floor) looking for one of her female co-workers - walked into the next office past us, and walked back by and (with his back turned) made sure to take a quick gaze in his direction. So, yeah, I think something exists for her, but maybe it just is the "mystery" and all. I know that the office tried to set up a lunch between him and her (as their positions are SOMEWHAT inter-related) and he couldn't make it but did respond that he would like to some other day and after receiving a response that she'd love to go, he received another that said "she wanted to wait until a time when another younger female co-worker could go along". Maybe they both sort of see something in him? Who knows? But you still have to take the looks with a grain of salt because, heck, we're going to LOOK at a lot of people. So maybe it's just knowing (from what I hear) that she does have an interest -- or maybe walking by our office or at least taking the opportunity to look him over means something... I'm REALLY INTERESTED IN hearing more about this from you people as well... I'd love to ask her out, but I'm afraid of two things: 1) Knowing I work with somebody she seems to have an interest in, she may only want to use me to try and get "closer" to him. 2) What if she has a boyfriend? It seems to me that if she did have one, she may have never agreed to go with him (even with somebody else) when he asked. And he DID ASK ON HIS OWN. Plus, going to the trouble of telling him the exact reasons why she wasn't able to go with him on that day seems sort of like she didn't want him to think it was a NO. Any help on all of this?

I've been really lucky here lately with the amount of new people that are around me. This particular girl is at work (and at work I mostly just go about my own business), but we are in two different departments and I haven't really been able to talk to her. I've always heard eye contact or making it a point to look at you or whatever is a sign of interest but that just seems sort of vague. What other signs exist?

Are there any signs to look for that may indicate she might be involved with someone else? I just took the "we'll go next week when we both can go" and the smiley face - to mean I'm not interested in a sarcastic kind of way.

I think it may be a bad sign, but about a week ago, I decided to ask a girl out for dinner but also decided to invite one of her friends (just as an icebreaker). The girl I am most interested in said she would love to go to dinner and would even want to within the next three or four days if the other girl was available. The other girl returned the call and said she couldn't for at least two weeks (going to Canada to see famiy) and when I asked the original girl if next week was O.K. she responded with, lets wait until the other girl can go to? Are these bad signs or waht kind of signs are they? I've just had no luck whatsoever in my new environment and kind of wish I were back on the W. Coast (even though I'm nto far from it). Eddie

Thanks... I just still really think he seems "unsure" of himself and really shy. Even after being asked by several people to come around, he just sort of stays to himself. Maybe some women just want somebody like that because they feel as though they'll be more loyal to them or something (with the way he acts). Hmm....

As for looks, I would probably say that he's a bit above average (although some of the women would probably say that a little differently... as in saying he was very nice looking). Anyways, I mean... they notice a lot about him. He can not wear his glasses and wear contacts and he automatically has every one of them talking about how much older he looks without them, etc. So he is, for some reason, very noticeable. When you do get a few words out of him, it seems to be enough for the women that are around to smile about. Even though it rarely happens, he can normally ask one of these girls to lunch or something and automatically land it. I can remember he sent an e-mail (because the whole office was talking about how "cool" and "cute" it was and everything) asking about six women (obviously his favorites) to go to lunch one Monday (because he had apparently forgotten to bring his own or something weird happened) and it turns out he had a lunch with five different women (one each day). So it's not exactly as if he is ugly and I will also say that I know (from hearing them talk) that he is REALLY smart and must be fairly smart with money as he has bought land in a nice neighborhood north of here (which MANY of them talk about). Maybe it's just that he does have a lot going for him or maybe they just really are curious about the things this guy says and does. I know we recently got a new girl and she smiles largely and ALWAYS acknowledges him with a hello. I am always just sort of looked at as if I don't belong anywhere around her.... What's up guys?

And as far as saying I wouldn't take anything away from this guy (and still won't), I just also wanted to say that when he does blurt into a conversation he does seem very interesting -- so much so that he's actually probably leaving to begin a Doctorate degree -- but he'll start talking about a video game, favorite radio station, or television show and will always get the "AWWW... When he says stuff like that, he's just so cute." What gives here?

I'm what you would call really social but I have noticed that I'm not really having all that much luck with girls here lately. I have also noticed something else strange... Like, where I work and go to school. There is this one guy (that I know from both) and he isn't really all that social or talkative and is pretty shy (doesn't really go to any get-togethers at our company -- it's a large organization and just basically goes to class at school). And I'm not trying to take away from him because he's a great guy and all, but I've noticed that like when a new girl starts at work (or all of the women that are already there) they seem to be much more talkative about his value and things. And there have been times that I thought he has treated new girls or women just downright rude (because they'll like pass and say "hello" to which he'll really only respond "hey"). Am I right by thinking that maybe women like this guy because he leaves something that sort of seems "mysterious"? I know that one of my best friends, a girl, had said at one time that she would rather have a "quiet" guy. So could this also just boil down to the fact that maybe all of these women are just in the "settling" down phase and know this guy wouldn't really be an obstacle as far as going out and partying and stuff? Just curious....