I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. We lived together for 9 months before I moved out as the house was too small. I lived in an apartment on my own for 5 months and saw just as much of him as when we lived together. He lost his father very suddenly at the end of last year which was terrible. We decided to move to a new bigger place of our own. After 3 weeks a friend of ours moved in temporarily as he was going through a rough time. Then one of my boyfriends friends also moved in who I didn't really know we decided to rent the spare room to him and he paid in full for the year. The other guy moved out.
Since then our housemate has completely taken over the house - his stuff is everywhere - he has spent all this money we did not ask him to spend on the house, it is like there are three of us in the relationship. To make matters worse he has bought my boyfriend all this stuff boys toys etc. it seems like he wants to make it into a bachelor pad! My boyfriend and I were rarely getting anytime together - it was horrible. He is completely buying my boyfriends attention with all these expensive gifts I eventually asked him to find somewhere else as I just could not live with him - he is moving out on the weekend.
Our relationship has been suffering quite a lot recently - I felt like I was the lowest of the low on his list of priorities and it even felt he was going out of his way to spend time with me. We spoke about it and he admitted that since his dad died he was going through this 'I'm going to do whatever I can to do as much as I can in life', he said I am the best thing in his life and he loves me - but sometimes thinks there is a wall there that stops him thinking we will end up together. When I told him our housemate had to leave - he was initially annoyed but then came round saying he is happy when he knows i am happy and he supports my decision, but to just get it sorted as he feels at the moment his life is so complicated. His other friends have noticed a change in his attitude towards everything since his Dad passed away too.
I know I have been acting a bit needy - looking all glum when he doesn't pay me attention I guess smothering him a bit - and I know I need to back off - I am just confused are our problems a combination of our living situation and the loss of his Dad or is it us?