Leonie

Remember that you made the decision to end it for all those reasons outlined above (very valid reasons!) and hold you head up high and remember that you can, and deserve better. You can't keep a good girl down and so rise above his issues and be thankful you got out of that relationship, which despite the good stuff he was telling you ultimately made you feel like sh*t. Don't ever think there is not a better day around the corner and for that matter a better person for you. You don't need that crap from him in your life - allow him to carry his issues on his own and leave you out of his mind bending weirdness. get out there and look to better times! Have a good one - you are better off without him -always remember that.

Congratulations! It is great to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. Your email is very very inspiring to those who are going through this and also those like me who will potentially be going through it soon. Words of wisdom I won't forget when I need them! Cheers Leo

I don't think porn is a big problem in itself - but I would be a little freaked out by him fascinating about teen porn (obviously depending on the age!) He is obviously a little ashamed of it to lie to you! Have you confronted him again about it? So can you delete cookies? Ahhhh I have been searching my ex-boyfriend on the internet just out of curiosity as he is a professional sportsman and just wondered what he was up to - can I be tracked - if so how do I delete the websites I visited?

Black by Pearl Jam - that line - "I know someday you'll have a beautiful life I know someday you'll be the sun in someone elses sky - but why, why can't it be mine?" No more drama - Mary J Blige Only love can break your heart - St. Etienne The power of goodbye - Madonna Me Myself and I - Beyonce

It is weird because I am usually so not the needy type. So I will definitely concentrate on giving him the space, I think I need it too!!! Once our housemate moves out I can see how him being there has been clouding my judgement and how much his presense has been causing the rows. I have been kicking myself because with this particular guy this scenario happened before - his friend's wife threatened to leave him if her husband didn't stop spending every spare moment with our housemate. So it seems to be history repeating itself almost. It is such a hard situation because as the recipient of all these gifts (I'm talking expensive stuff like motorbikes) my boyfriend is hardly going to want that to end - even though I strongly believe nothing is for free - there is always a catch. Going to an exercise class tonight and then running which should be good. Just want everything to settle down again! Thanks for the advice! Leo

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. We lived together for 9 months before I moved out as the house was too small. I lived in an apartment on my own for 5 months and saw just as much of him as when we lived together. He lost his father very suddenly at the end of last year which was terrible. We decided to move to a new bigger place of our own. After 3 weeks a friend of ours moved in temporarily as he was going through a rough time. Then one of my boyfriends friends also moved in who I didn't really know we decided to rent the spare room to him and he paid in full for the year. The other guy moved out. Since then our housemate has completely taken over the house - his stuff is everywhere - he has spent all this money we did not ask him to spend on the house, it is like there are three of us in the relationship. To make matters worse he has bought my boyfriend all this stuff boys toys etc. it seems like he wants to make it into a bachelor pad! My boyfriend and I were rarely getting anytime together - it was horrible. He is completely buying my boyfriends attention with all these expensive gifts I eventually asked him to find somewhere else as I just could not live with him - he is moving out on the weekend. Our relationship has been suffering quite a lot recently - I felt like I was the lowest of the low on his list of priorities and it even felt he was going out of his way to spend time with me. We spoke about it and he admitted that since his dad died he was going through this 'I'm going to do whatever I can to do as much as I can in life', he said I am the best thing in his life and he loves me - but sometimes thinks there is a wall there that stops him thinking we will end up together. When I told him our housemate had to leave - he was initially annoyed but then came round saying he is happy when he knows i am happy and he supports my decision, but to just get it sorted as he feels at the moment his life is so complicated. His other friends have noticed a change in his attitude towards everything since his Dad passed away too. I know I have been acting a bit needy - looking all glum when he doesn't pay me attention I guess smothering him a bit - and I know I need to back off - I am just confused are our problems a combination of our living situation and the loss of his Dad or is it us?