msj1977

Okay I am 28 now and I am starting to wonder if this dating thing can get any more complicated. Finally, after getting over my ex I realize there are other women that I am interested in. But hold up!!! The one I am interested in is very mysterious (which is probably why I like her). What am I going to do? Here is the situation. I am the Chief Executive Officer of a non-profit organization for children. There is a girl that comes twice a week to tutor some kids from my organization. So, I am not her supervisor directly but I have a lot of pull in the organization so I am her supervisor so to speak. Any way. I was at a party a couple of weeks ago and she was a little intoxicated not terribly drunk but drunk. She was not overly flirtatious verbally but she was very touchy towards me. I automatically kinda shunned this by not reacting. Well, she comes to work only twice a week and when she does she stops by my office. We just basically chit chat. She told me one day I was cute etc. Then she asked me to go to a movie some time with her but we never did something came up with her. That is what I dont get with this girl. She asks me out but does not stick to her guns. So, what do I do? I can't ask her out I feel like a Sexual harassment case waiting to happen. Every time I see this girl I know I show her some interest, but not enough out of the ordinary if you know what I mean. So, what should I do? She is a super nice girl!! Thanks

Yesterday she only called once and she left a message. I deleted the message. I got a text message though that I did not delete right away. Wasnt sure who it was from until I checked it of course. She just said "I am done being nice." No response from me of course. However, that text just solidified some things for me. I guess she was just being nice b/c she felt bad. Oh well. Even better I dont need her feeling sorry for me. I have too much going for me. I am 28 years old with a Masters Deree. She is 25 with no goals and no college education. She still works at a bar and has done nothing to better herself in that respect. I am not better than her I dont believe anyone is better than other people. I am not a shallow person either. However, she and I come from two different walks of life. I am constatly trying to better my character through whatever means I can better my self. I guess being with her was not really helping to improve my self. I probably would have wound up trying to improve her. I sound like an egotistical freak saying this but I am actually a pretty humble person and very patient. Too patient. Hope all is well out there for every one. I'll post later I am sure just to up date things.

This is what my ex girlfriend did too mee sorta. Except she was seeing a guy a week after we broke up. We were the best of friends for months and months before we started dating. She broke up with me and hurt me bad. Of course, I wanted to friends but that was just when I was really hurt and not thinking. This girl threw me out like a piece of garbage. Why would I want to be friends with her? Maybe one day when time heals and I dont care anymore. You see maybe he will be friends when he loses his feelings for you. Or maybe he will lose his feelings for you and have no desire to be your friend. Like I told my ex she broke up with me and their are consequences for that. Things are not the same anymore.

Well the update is the same. I obviously do not have this girl out of my system yet or I would not be posting anymore. She leaves me a voice mail stating that "I am assuming you are not picking up for whatever reasons you have but I am just calling to see how your weekend was." Well my weekend sucked thanks. I am not going to tell her that of course. Just when I think I have figured things out I realize that I have not figured things out. Why is she still calling me. She broke up with me why cant she leave me alone. She has no intentions of getting back with me so why all the effort? I feel stupid b/c I know I still care. Maybe once I dont care anymore I will figure her out or possibly by that time I wont care to figure her out. She pretty much threw me out like a piece of garbage and she knows this. So, what is her deal? Oh well life goes on I guess. I wonder what is in store for me today as far as calls from her go. She stopped last night at around 9:00p.m. Hoping she will stop for good today. I am tired of even talking to her so I am not going to tell her to stop. Maybe she will get the hint.

Run man run. My ex was in love with her ex the whole time we were together. I got tired of it. She tried to make me feel guilty telling me I am insecure etc. No, I just didn't think it was normal to be so clingy to the ex. When I am friends with an ex it is b/c I am trying to get back with her. Once I am over her I am not friends with them. I am friends with two of my ex's. And we dated so long ago I forget we even dated.

Keep it up girl!! My ex calls me all the time she wants to be friends but she treated me like crap. Why would I want to be friends with someone who treated me like crap? That is what I keep saying to my self. Anyway. Good luck

I agree with fantasia2004. It has taken me a month to realize that my ex was confused about the decision she made and tried to string me along during her confusion. She and I argued and she would still continue to contact me even when she was and is still seeing her rebound. The only times she would stop calling me is if I seemed needy. When I ignore her or was mean to her she would make contact with me all the time. I wish I would have blew her totally off a month ago. She has done a lot to kinda keep me around for the last month. Now, I am just tired of it and I despise her game playing more than ever. She tossed me like garbage and b/c of that I have no desire to be friends with her. She and I were best friends before we dated but oh have things changed. I do believe this woman is going to try and cycle back around to me, but I am going to make sure that does not happen by not giving her the time of day. Good riddens is what I say. If a person causes anyone emotional distress then it is best to try to eliminate that stress if you can. It will take time but NC is the only way.

Well my ex did not chase me when I was in the needy phase. During that time I think I got on her nerves. So, I stopped and then the calls came. She was with someone else just a week after we broke up. Really made me mad. Still, she continued to contact me and kept tabs on me through mutual friends. I got tired of her calling so I got pretty hateful pushing her away I was hoping I would. After about three weeks of pushing her away she cracked coming to me crying saying she loves me. When she did this I probably could have gotten back in with her at that time. What she wants is me to be there for her when she decides she is ready to come back. She has already told me this guy she is with was just a hasty decision and she does not see her self ending up with him. I am just amazed that after all the hateful stuff she still wants me as a part of her life. I was hateful b/c I was not strong enough to not respond to her text messages and I was trying to push her away. However, today is the day. No more I am not ready to be friends with this girl. I also have to get her out of my system so when she decides to come back I wont take her back. I would be the worlds biggest fool. I am pretty sure this girl will cycle back around to me. It feels like a game, but it is a game I dont want to play. Thing is after a couple days of not returning her calls she is going to go nuts again asking me to come over etc. This is where my self restraint has to be the strongest. I will just have to think about her with that other guy it will make me mad and I wont go over. If I do I am an idiot. This girl is trying to play me like a fiddle. I really despise her for this. I want her to tell me she hates me and wants me out of her life. I just have to be strong and not respond so I can heal. Once I heal she knows I will be done with her. This she knows which is why she still pops up.

Well, as far as why this girl still calls me is b/c she is still confused about how she feels about me. She told me this guy she is seeing she does not see her self ending up with him. She also stated that she feels bad for him because she knows she is putting him through a lot b/c of the scattered emotions she has. She told me she chose to see someone else b/c she did not feel our relationship was right and that she was sad about that and felt that it was easier for her to just start seeing someone else. She also said that she is not used to being alone so she kinda grabbed the first thing that came her way. So, all the calling and trying to hold onto me is her way of lets say holding onto me in case she decides to come back. Well, to say the least that kinda disgusts me. People are free to make their own decisions in life but it seems her decisions are being made selfishly. If this girl cycle arounds to me again which I think she will I would be the worlds biggest fool to take her back. The way she has handled things reminds me of girls I dated in high school. This woman is 25 years old. Now that I understand this about this woman it is time for me to make sure that I never take her calls ever again. It seems to me she is too much heartache for the taking. Poor guy she is with now. Just two days before I figured all this out she threw her self on me crying kissing my cheeks and going for my mouth. I am sure her new boyfriend would have approved of that. I guess this new guy which I have no ill will against will be the next sucker.

Well my ex-broke up with me a month ago and she wont let me move on. The fighting has finally stopped as of last night. I hope so anyway. She sent me a text message last night asking if I wanted to go have a drink with her. I said no thanks. Then she asked me to stop by when I got off work. I got out of work late at 2200 hrs. I said no thanks again. Then she is calling me crying saying please come over I really need to talk to you. Well, dangit I gave into that. Oh!! It gets better. I walk into her apartment and sit on the couch. She sits at the other end. Not a minute later she gets up comes over to me and practically falls on me crying. (now her new boyfriend I asked where he was cause I thought this was CRAZY she said he is out tonight) Anyway!! She continues to cry telling me to hold her etc. She says I am so sorry for hurting you and then tells me she still loves me. Not I care for you I still love you. Then she is rubbing my face kissing my cheeks and going for my lips all while she is crying. I moved my head and she is like I am not trying to make out with you. So, I am thinking okay this is not normal. You have a new boyfriend does he know you are acting like this? Probably not. All the more reason I am glad we are over. Anyway. She proceeds to tell me a little bit about her boyfriend not a lot. Basically, stating she likes him but that she has made a lot of hasty decisions since we broke up. I told her she was right in breaking up with me because I could never be happy with her. I told her she needed to let me go and give me lots of space b/c it is over between us. I told her she broke up with me and their are consequences for that like hello I am not yours to cry on and kiss anymore etc. She then cried saying well go then go then. I left and she calls at 0200 hrs. and then at 0430 hrs. saying she cant sleep. Well, I am sure she will sleep just fine tonight when her new boyfriend comes back over. You see folks I am just so startled and in awe about this. If I had a new girl I would concentrate on her and not my ex. Wow wow wow!! I have never experienced this stuff before. In response to your POST. We both need to be strong and not be a dang doormat for these girls. It is hard to do. When my ex-calls I often give in. I never initiate anything. I wish she would stop calling so I can just move on. She wont let me. I have been mean, direct and sincere about all of this.

Well a lot has happened over the past week. My ex and I still made contact with each other. It was actually okay at first, but I realized that I couldn't bottle up my feelings anymore. I am so upset that she never let me be a lone when she said she was. I was not strong enough to not respond to her text messages and phone calls. I was strong enough not to initiate anything. So, what I predicted would happen happened. I knew that I was going to crack and say some very mean things that I did not mean. I took some pretty mean verbal cheap shots at her. She says I emotionally messed her up by saying the things I said to her. All I wanted was time away so I could one day say it will okay for us to be friends. I knew that I would blow up at her and then I would get my space. However, I did not want to get my space in this way. I feel guilty now and I know she will never talk to me ever again. She just cant understand that I needed time away and that I could not just go from being with her to great friends in a matter of one day literally. Maybe this is for the good. I will heal with time. I just dont ever want to wonder if I lost a really good friend b/c I couldn't keep my mouth shut and communicate with her in a more appropriate manner. I guess you live and you learn.

Okay last night did not turn out the way I intended it to. My ex- called me earlier in the day and said she wanted to hang out. At first, I was resistant b/c I have been doing so well. However, I gave in and went to have a few drinks with her. Things started out really good. I felt really comfortable and much at ease. She and I talked just like we were geat friends again. Before she and I started seeing each other we were best friends and spent a lot of time together. Somehow we lost that friendship in the relationship it seems like. As the night was ending we both were a little tipsy from the alochol and I politely said I am going home now. She then stated let me walk you to your car. I didn't think much of it and just started to get into my car. At this point she says arent you going to hug me. I really did not want to but I did. When I hugged her it turned into a really long hug. I then cracked and said I have missed you. She then starts crying saying I have missed you too. Then she says I have needed this space. I end up at her place for the night nothing physical took place we both were exhausted. That is what I am really not happy about going to her place and I asked if I could come over. She did not object. I am so mad for going over there. First off I was really surprised that she wanted to see me last night. Surely, this new guy I have heard about would be around. Well guess what he was in Cancun. Bam it hit me and I was able to think for my self again. I do like this girl a lot. However, I have changed b/c I am not wearing my heart on my sleeve anymore. I think she knows this. So, I am writing this to try to describe how I really feel. I feel angry very angry now. Angry b/c I truly believe this girl knew I was basically getting over her. I think that she is just trying to string me a long. I dont think the things she told me came from her heart. What makes me the angriest is that I think it is sickening to string people along. I know that when I end relationships and start seeing someone new I dont string the ex along. I clearly tell them it is over and that I am seeing someone new. Maybe I am jusy too old school here. All of this is starting to make some sense to me. The fact that she doesnt want me to know she is seeing someone new is b/c she knows that if she told me that would be it. And it would be it, I probably would never talk to her again. So, why am I talking to her now if I believe she is seeing someone else? Thats just it though I am not truly sure if she really is. Another problem I have is that in two weeks she and I are involved in a major function together that we have to attend together. I keep praying that the two weeks will come and go. I know that b/c of that function I am still trying to maintain a cordial relationship with this girl. Once that is over I keep telling my self I never will talk to her again for some time. My cell phone contract is up then to so I was contemplating a new number as well. This girl has probably sent me 40 text messages over the last week. Messages stating "I dont feel well" or "are u mad at" or "are you sleeping." The last message is the most annoying one b/c I was sleeping and the text woke me up. After all this I can say I am not back to where I started. I know I still care for her, but the hurt is still not like it used to be. The week of NC did a lot for me. I really would like two full weeks of NC. I am sure then that I could shake this girl for good. However, I dont really think she is going to let me. And I probably will give in again. Please let this function she and I are involved in come soon. Well thanks for letting me vent. Venting really does help.

That response was too funny. My best friend said the same thing. He wanted me to come back with some wise comment etc. However, I just said you know what dude I am just mentally exhausted now and I cant fight. He then says then what are you going to do? I told him just simply never call her back. He thinks that is good, but he wants me to be a butt head. I just cant do it now I am starting too become amused with it now. By the way she called me at 0245 hrs. last night. She thought I was working a little part time job I work on monday nights. I was sound a sleep and just picked up the phone not thinking to check the caller ID. She says I am just calling to say hey I have not talked to you in a while. Retarded huh? I am doing so much better in fact the more retarded she is the better I am. Besides I am very busy with things these days. I guess she could not have left at a better time.

Well it seems just two days after my ex-initiated NC she calls. She leaves a message telling me she bought a new pair of shoes and that she can't find her shoe water repellent spray can. (You know the stuff you spray on shoes to make them last longer I guess). Sure enough just as I guessed, it was under the kitchen sink. I thought that was all of her stuff. But please people tell me something here. If it were me, I would have just written it off. I mean the can was $5.00, but for the life of me. What alterior motive does this girl have if there is one for wanting a $5.00 can back? Oh, and I am going to fill you guys in on a little more information. I realize now that who she dates is her business and none of my concern we are broken up now. However, we broke up after a stupid fight. She then tells me she needs some time. Well, during this so called time I was told she started seeing this guy named Matt. Well I had some trust issues with this girl and checked her text messages in her phone one day from a guy named Matt (we were together then). The message was a sexual message in nature. I kinda wrote this off, but decided to keep a watchful eye. She later found out I checked the message and made up this elaborate strory as an explanation. I told her I dont believe you and I cant control what messages guys send you only you can. Then I really thought nothing else of it. I asked this girl about a week ago if she was seeing someone else. She was very assertive in stating that she is not. She is seeing someone else and my question is why does she not want me to know? We have pretty much the same circle of friends so stuff gets back to me. Is it b/c it is the same guy that I found the message from and she does not want me to catch her in a lie? She has tried to make this relationship disaster my fault. But no its not my fault she was setting something up with another dude and our fight was her way out. She knew she would not be able to keep me and see him for a long period of time. She could cheat and get away with it, but actually seeing two people would have been difficult for her. It gets better all the time though. Thanks

Well get this!! She has finally realized that I cant do the friend thing. She now is telling me with tears in her voice that I never gave her the space she needed in the beginning and it hurts her feelings. This may be true for the first week or so I was trying to figure things out between us and then I finally said enough and stopped calling etc. Now, she is up set with me telling me we both need time apart and that we are not to talk for two weeks. HELLO there girly I was telling you this just the other day. I also know myself. And that is once I am over the romantic feelings for a girl I choose not to be friends with them. It is just that simple. I see she still is friends with a lot of her ex's but she wont be with this one. Weirdest thing about this girl is I have been told several times she is seeing someone else. However, she really does not want me to know this. So, I feel like she should just move on and put all this energy into her new boyfriend. Of course, he will probably get tired of her soon. I should have been smarter and seen these weird things in this girl. I guess my heart was not thinking. All is well for now. I hope she stops calling me for my sake. I do so much better.