JCarman

In either case, you have got yourself into trouble. Unless she has just been so swamped with her career, she probably has very specific requirements of a partner. I would just hang back and let her come to you. If she just wants to have some fun and go further, enjoy but don't get attached. Spoken from experience.

I haven't been able to read all 8 pages of posting, so hopefully this isn't redundant: The marriage proposal is an important celebration, but I think your therapist is right. Some people hold little regard for romantic stuff -- not just men, but even some women. If you really want somebody more romantic, then have courage to make tough choices. Although, I have seen some guys that are over the top about being romantic. It seems like they're more interested in the thrill of the chase then making it work over the long haul. Finally, there are many more qualities to put ahead of this (in my opinion; in no particular order) - Love - Loyalty - Trustworthiness - Personality - Unselfishness for lack of a better word - Committment .... and on and on....

Thank you for your feedback. Age: We are both in our mid-30's. I agree with the points about the length of time (1 year) before engagement (Maybe the pre-nup too ) However, pregnancy can be a little more challenging as time goes on. Also, if things don't work out, she needs to figure out soon, so she can start looking again. Am I off-base? Thanks again.

My girlfriend and I have been going through a tough time lately. We have been going out for about a year and both are unsure if we should move forward towards marriage or not. She is at an age where she really wants to settle down and have kids. I want the same thing too, but I am not in a big hurry. We decided to take a couple week break to think things over and come to a decision. Last weekend, I was out of town and she goes out and makes a large financial committment without consulting me first. This seems like a sign of independence on her part. It burns me up. I love her, but the negatives seem to outweigh the positives. Im starting to give up. Any thoughts?

The relationship is (was?) moving towards marriage. She really wants kids and is at an age where it is time to decide. As far as seeing the calls from other guys on the phone...She let me use the phone for a while, and I noticed contacts when I innocently hit redail. Thanks in advance for all the feedback.

As far the porn stuff, I dont see this as show stopper. The comment he made about "not wanting to marry you" to someone else - seems to be an issue. You say he is very affectionate. Do you feel you are an affectionate person too? If not, this is a major compatability issue. Some guys are feel a void in this area. It's not just girls. As far as maniplation, has he been through a rough breakup before? If so, he will try to control. You need to set your boundaries and move on, if necessary.

I have been divorced for about 2 years. My wife abrubtly left me for someone else. In the last 6 months, I have found a special person. However, I am having diffculty trusting her because: 1. She goes out to meat-market clubs weekly. I am okay with fact she wants to go out to happy hours with work friends, but the happy hours turn into a few hours, and it's the same place my ex hooked up with her new boyfriend. She knows it upsets me, but she does it anyways. Last week, we had a special night planned and she still managed to squeeze in some time at this place. Although I was mad, I didn't confront her about it. A couple days later, I noticed she had some calls (on cell phone) from another guy. 2. She holds on to jewerly from ex's. I have been trying to avoid her because of the suspiousions (#1) Should I just be patient? Is sneaking around (spying) right considering the circumstatnces? I want to move forward but it seems tough to deal with issues.