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Everything posted by LaHermes

  1. Who are these experts?! And have they just given an opinion off the bat or do you somehow consult these people? Only you can know yourself. Are you still having therapy? A qualified therapist will be well able to point out your qualities and also lead you to a place of insight.
  2. I'm like a one-eyed cat peeping in a seafood store I'm like a one-eyed cat peeping in a seafood store. LOL.
  3. Gosh, Smackie, I thought you were kidding. But: "New York-based gynecologist Alyssa Dweck told VICE via email. She did, however, say the practice was “safe with caveats”: keep the hair dryer on its lowest/coolest setting and only use it externally. “Don’t blow air into the vagina,” Dweck said. Good advice, and broadly applicable. She also said some gynecologists suggest blow-drying versus a mere towel-off for people who get frequent yeast infections or suffer from issues related to skin sensitivity. “Yeast thrives in moist dark places, and towel drying may not do the trick,” Dweck said. So, if you’re someone who deals with recurrent yeast infections and you’re looking for an excuse to fire up the ol’ Dyson Supersonic, it’s not actively dangerous to put two and two together. Just proceed with caution and enjoy the breeze."
  4. Was he hitting on the other women in the steam room? If relaxing in a steam room I really would not want to chat or hear about someone else's back problems.
  5. Yes, OP. I got that right back earlier in your thread and took it on board. And that's good too! And it is interesting to read what you have to say OP. Just to ask if perhaps this is a typo? Aaahh, got it! https://www.envisionwellness.co/are-you-a-serial-monogamist/
  6. Like it or not, OP, you may have to come to grips with the fact that he could be gay.
  7. OP, giving someone a compliment is not a red flag. Lol. I do it myself if someone has done something considerate for me or for other reasons. Showing affection to someone likewise. It is when that stuff becomes OTT and outlandishly blatant that the bells need to start ringing. I don't imagine you would move in with anyone early on, and indeed it would be very ill-advised. If someone was very pressing to the point where you would refuse to move in, well there you have a red flag for starters. "Less is always more" applies to relationships too.
  8. Hey, you can never be overly cautious! "Make haste slowly" is good advice. Particularly in the fraught area of looking for a relationship and more so in this era of OLD. What red flags do you think you'd be seeing that aren't actually there?
  9. You are quite right to be cautious OP. "Red flags in a relationship are intuitive indicators that something needs to be questioned." It can be difficult to see those red flags when you first meet someone, or even on the second meeting, as usually the red flag bearers are adept at hiding (initially anyhow) behind that "Mask of Sanity". But you can be certain the mask will slip, unfortunately all too late when one has become rather enmeshed in the relationship and thinking becomes foggy. Even so, reading someone a skill, and it can be acquired, so as to be able to read someone early on. and IMO this is very important: "If there is something “off" about this person that seems obvious to those who know you so well, you may need to listen to what they’re telling you. Often, in the throes of a new relationship, hearing criticism about your new “beloved” may not be welcome, but others may see things more clearly from an outsider’s perspective. At the very least, hear these people out."
  10. As I said. She could be in the Highlands for that matter.
  11. MissL. It is probably best to let it go. Maybe he just isn't that interested. Who knows. Did he make any mention of travelling over to see you? There is a frequent ferry from Larne (NI) to Stranraer (Scotland)! Crossing distance is 32 miles. And the public is now allowed to travel again. Granted, Stranraer may be some distance from where you live in Scotland. What do you think?
  12. A long walk does wonders, Tiny. And I know wearing the mask is so uncomfortable. Thankfully here one does not have to wear the mask when going for a walk. Only if going into a premises etc. Hopefully there is an open space near you where you can walk in peace. I do remember that you are very keen to move out into a more rural setting. Hope you can, soon.
  13. I am still with you on this issue, OP. Rudeness is rudeness, regardless of "culture". Nothing wrong with being blunt and forthright, which is NOT the same as being rude and ill-mannered. We have rude wagons here too, and they are not from Russia either! Definitely, OP, you went OTT with the welcoming spree, so OK, that was a mistake. But you know what, OP, you are well rid of them all. In a way Mommy dearest was, so to speak, "the hand of destiny" L. Now you won't be marrying into that kind of dysfunction. Next time do look long and hard at the background of the person. And always remember this: "You can't get pears off an elm tree". Quite so. But you have seen, however painfully,that your ex is not adult in that sense, if she is scared witless by her mother. Best of luck going forward.
  14. Absolutely right, RS. We've been saying this to the OP in so many ways. But OP does not WISH to face this reality, and indeed has not even come back to respond to the many posts. (Same with last thread). Even if photographs were handed to her today in the typical large beige envelope, with a recording, she would find a way to argue around the issue.
  15. That's what he says. We circle back to the bare fact that he must see a psychiatrist who will assess him and determine which medication WILL help him. I repeat what MissC says: Meantime you may wish to glance at this: https://www.healthline.com/health/depression/relationships
  16. Please Honey. You cannot "magic" this situation. You will merely be enabling. Rather like nursing along a car with a busted engine; it will jerk and putter along for a few miles, but will eventually seize up and leave you stranded. The car should have been with the mechanic (the expert) in the first instance. In your BF's case the expert is the psychiatrist, and that is where he must start. You can't make him FEEL anything, and indeed your efforts could be counterproductive.
  17. I was referring to a psychiatrist (a doctor), who will assess him and regulate the medication accordingly.
  18. Only he can make things easier for himself by ensuring he has treatment. Does he regularly see a psychiatrist? This is what it is going to be like, OP. Your choice.
  19. You know Lora, your situation is so stressful as to be nightmarish. This excerpt is you just one year ago: "He even gets angry when I go out and I am late because he doesn't want to spent time at home when he can spet it with friends. He always makes sure I leave formula for the baby ready made when I get out and tells me to come back for the next feeding because he doesn't even know how to make it. I told him I'll show you but he wasn't interested. He's like "don't be late because I'm meeting an X friend for coffee in two hours." It's just frustrating he can't stay one day at home all day long !! Another interesting fact is that these friends of his are either single or divorced... " Of course they are! His married friends (men) , if he has any married men friends, are probably responsible guys who take their family duties seriously. In essence, your husband is what is called "a bachelor husband". He got married to you, but in his mind he isn't married.
  20. Where you are at the moment is overwhelming and scary, OP! Anything else would be a huge relief for you and a chance at a better life.
  21. Rest assured OP, we don't do "flame wars" about religion on here. If this is how it is in your culture, well, so be it.
  22. I endorse what Choco says, Tiny. Don't even let it cross your mind. Can you get out and about at least for a long walk, even though there is lockdown?
  23. It is usual in most jurisdictions to have a tenancy agreement in place. And I agree with Wiseman. Do not rent a basement apartment, and do not rent from a work colleague. Why not try consulting a reputable letting agency?
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