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frizzle

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  1. frizzle
    One thing that strikes me is you turned down these other guys. What was it about them that you didn't like or didn't want? Could it possibly be because they are decent guys and not jerks like this one? I do believe you might have self esteem issues, which will only be resolved if you take time away for yourself.
  2. frizzle
    Well if you had those plans to go already and she just invited herself along you should still go. If you change your mind now it will show her that she still has control and influence over you. It might hurt and be upsetting inside but do not show it at all. It's just one event remember, just be cool hang with your friends and smile and laugh.
  3. frizzle
    Well seems to be all good, the friendship has been restored and working on the trust issues, we're talking again just keeping it light and not going to bring up anything about feelings or what happened in the past just gonna learn from the mistakes and not repeat them (either of us)
  4. frizzle
    Hey guys well things have been progressing nicely. I got to the point where I think I don't really care too much if I hear or see from her again. If things work out, great if they don't that's fine too, either way am not feeling down. So feeling like this I went and had a brief talk with her, was a friendly enough talk she didn't seem angry anymore or upset even laughing and joking at one point. Without going into all the depth of it basically it got to the point where it was discussed about working things out if she wanted to as well (as friends) she told me "I'm not saying I don't want to" apologies were exchanged because we both did make mistakes and in the end she wanted a bit of time to think about things some more as I had caught her at not the best of times (some troubles at home or something) so am leaving it at that. If I don't hear from her ever again that's fine, if I do that's cool too but I'm also starting very much to think I'm feeling happier just as friends should she so choose that route. Either way it's closure and a fresh start so I'm happy. Just goes to show even if make most/all of the mistakes it isn't always completely hopeless but it really depends what you're aiming for, in my case it's to repair the trust and friendship/companionship or at least get proper closure where we can go our separate ways peacefully without resentment and I feel I'll get one or the other now at least.
  5. frizzle
    She won't break it off, she's having her cake and eating it. Best thing to do is forget about her.
  6. frizzle
    If you think you like both of them then you don't really like either of them enough. Something to think about while you take some time away from both of them and decide who you really care about.
  7. frizzle
    Yeah am heeding the advice this time lol It's a long distance friendship so meeting up any time soon won't be possible and probably not a good idea anyway so for now just keeping in contact online/phone. I just don't want the same patterns which happened before repeating themselves and want to make sure she understands this somehow.
  8. frizzle
    Well the no contact has continued. I'm feeling better again though it seems the onus is now on me to make the contact, when I was the one she wanted to be rid of (?) so it's a little confusing. The general gist of the posts here seem to be to let the dumper get back in contact with the dumpee but this seems to be the other way around now? Superdave is right I think things were said and done mostly out of being upset from both. There are still some things that bother me, for example I seemed to put in far more effort for her than she did and it often seemed like most of the time it was all about what she wanted, and I wasn't happy about the games and lies which have been admitted to now. If there's to be a friendship again I'd want to make sure none of this is repeated again and it's a more fair and equal thing between us based on trust. I do genuinely miss the friendship and the fun and laughs we shared, but I don't want to be used again as an emotional crutch or something like that. She has a boyfriend he should be enough for her, it's not fair for me to be used like that so she can get attention and support while he is away. How would be the best way to approach this? Write it out in an email? Talk with her about it if I see her online? Ideas on what I should write and how to word it?
  9. frizzle
    Not quite the same thing I was up front about my feelings and intentions and asking advice on how/if it were possible. Besides which that's changed now anyway.
  10. frizzle
    Sorry but when it comes down to all these games there's only one word that springs to mind. Dishonest. What kind of "relationships" are these based on manipulations and lies and mind games? Dysfunctional ones where both "partners" are lying and abusing each other. Lying to yourself, lying to them and generally being sick of the soul. That's your idea of love?!
  11. frizzle
    Hey Ray I followed your story as well I'm glad things are going well for you. Keep up the good work!
  12. frizzle
    I probably will forgive her in the end, though everyone I know is telling me to forget about her. Some really hurtful things were said and done, probably by both of us I didn't handle things too well and made every mistake there was (except I didn't beg) Still a little upset so I guess that means I'm not ready for anything. Time will tell.
  13. frizzle
    Thanks Superdave Yeah I was thinking the same, in the end I just said I don't know and that I needed more time for myself. It was a messy angry kind of "break up" but she has added me back to her MSN so I guess that's something. Well, am continuing NC for another week or two while I think about things if I can ever trust her again.
  14. frizzle
    I don't know if this belongs in this section probably more like ex/friends but I've posted here before so may as well continue. Well I had a very long few hours conversation with her through which a lot came out including about some dishonesty and such from her part but I think she's finally come clean about everything. A mutual friend who got caught up in it said we maybe could work out our difference and repair the friendship we had. I told her I need more time away for myself and if she wants to talk later we can, she just said it was my call. Advice? I'm not interested in anything more but despite everything we did get along really well for most of the past year and had a lot of fun and good times. If there is to be a friendship again I want it to be more equal, she put in some effort too like I did for her, no more lies, no games or anything. What's best thing to do, how should I proceed?
  15. frizzle
    I think you should tell him. The problem is not with him being a nice guy but the girls he is interested in have low self esteem. They go for jerks because they convince themselves they can turn the jerks into nice guys with their love. In reality it doesn't happen because well, they're jerks. There was a nice quote I read somewhere "after all a girl who feels like crap inside is most likely to bond with someone who agrees with her"
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