DEgirl23

4 years dating 5 years married Been divorced for 10 years too young, family, responsiblity too early We are now 35 & 36 and dating again. We are both changed people and it like you are friends first and getting to know each other again. We just started dating about 2 weeks ago. We have two kids, daughter 15 & son 13. It is nice to have that in common. We seem to communicate a lot better this time around and more honest with each other. Well time will tell. Wish me luck!

Thanks for the advise. I do believe I trust him to an extent. I think time will only tell there. Especially since we live about 2 hours away from each other and right now we are see each other only on the weekends. But we spend a lot of time talking on the phone and that is what I think we need to is communicate. It is something that we did not do when we were young and married. It was only been about 2 weeks since we starting doing what we are doing. I am nervous about telling my family. We have been divorced forever and he was always the bad guy. But he really wants to make up for it all. If you asked me this time last year if we would ever get back together, I would say NO WAY!! But know I don't know, I like what I see and feel right now. He really seems different and really seems like he wants this to work. We will only see.

I am sorry to be so blunt. But you need to move on, he certainly has. Believe me I know it is very hard to do that. When my boyfriend and I broke up years ago and he started dating someone else. I was Devastated. The more I tried to get him back, the move he went to her. Now years later they are married with 2 kids. There is no hope, when someone wants someone else and not you. This is a good chance for you to learn more about yourself. Become that strong independ woman and the men will come. Good luck!

Well, first of all you do sound like a wonderful and caring individual and most likely it doesn't have anything to do with you. However, I think that she really doesn't know what she want either, but right now she wants the other guy more then you, or she would be with you. It is very unfair of her to live you on the side like that, while she tries to figure out what she wants. My advise is ... go out. Have a good time. You might meet a really nice girl who wants to be with you. Everyone wants a person to want them. You too need to date and see what is out there. Then if you do get back together you will not feel like she cheated on you or you missed out of something. And if you do not get back together, at least you will be developing some of your own independence. Good luck. Love can be tough, believe me, I know.

I have been on both end of the break up scene. I hate to say that it never seems to work out either way. If you get back together, things don't change and you break up again. My suggestion is to get yourself together. You are the most important thing there is and thinking about yourself will not only build your confidence but make you a strong independent woman. Remember men are not all that. Let him come running back to you after you show him that you do not need him to get by on life. And after a time, if you run into him then that confidence will glow and he will want to have some of it. Believe me I know a break up is hard to deal with. Go out and depend on your friends to get you through it. Learn to do things on your own, like a movie or dinner. Make a date night with yourself (your favorite meal and your favorite meal) Time really heals all wounds, honey. Remember that.

My story is one for the records. To give you a little background before I get to my questions. My ex and I started dating when I was in the 9th grade. It was a rocky road back then, we had a lot of ups and downs. At 19 I got pregnant with our daughter and that same year we got married and by the time I was 21 I had my son. Our relationship was so immature and we did not have a normal relationship at all. He drank a lot and seemed never to be home. I always said that we brought the worst out of each other. Then at 24 I found myself divorced with 2 kids. That first year he was involved with seeing the kids, but after that, I raised them on my own for the last 8 years. In the last 2 years, my ex has been coming back around (or at least calling the kids and see how they are doing). He doesn't have a license (another long story) and lives about 200 miles away. This summer he took the kids for the first time for a week vacation. Also has finally been working on getting his acted together with his finances. I have always talked to him off and on over the years (sometimes good sometimes bad) I have dated off and on but nothing ever serious. Just recently he told me that he still loved me and that he knows he made a lot of mistakes by then. That he didn't treat me the way that a wife should have been treated. We are doing the things that we never did when we were younger. Emailing each other little notes. When I see him, we sit together on the couch cuddling watching a movie. We are communicating about everything and things feel good. But I am scared. Do you think a person can get his act together? Become a better person? Still love me after 10 years? I told him he hardly knows me, that I as a person has changed a lot. And my values have changed. But he agrees with me on everything and understands that he has to prove his self to me. This weekend I am visiting him were he leaves for the weekend without the kids. We want to talk and see how things go. Just tell me am I being stupid or should I take the chance. Thanks for any advise