nicholascrack
-
Posts
75 -
Joined
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Articles
Videos
Blogs
Store
Everything posted by nicholascrack
-
Now that my ex, Hilary, and I are hanging out lots, I'm trying to develop a strategy. We have been together almost everyday, going to the beach, going for dinner, watching movies, and have enjoyed our time together. Sometimes we cuddle together and hold hands. It really has become a warm friendship. Now, what are some things that I can do to not become the "best-friend"? Everytime we hang together, it builds and strenghthens our bond. But I'm worried about becoming just good friends. Do you guys have any tips on how to avoid that? Anyone know what I'm talking about? Sincerely, Nicholas
-
We decided to catch a movie tonight instead. We went and saw, "Collateral." It was quite thrilling. Anyways, I dropped her off at her car and when we said goodbye, we were both overcome with emotion. We held eachother for a long time, not saying anything. We each knew what the other wanted to say, but we barely spoke a word. I really care about this girl. It killed me to see the pain that this new guy, as well as I, caused her. I wished I could have taken it all away and made it mine. We left on a very positive note. It was an enormous sense of healing. At this point, it doesn't even matter if we get back together (well it does), but I really want what's best for her. That's why I have to change and become a better man. She really deserves the best. Nicholas
-
My ex's MSN profile used to read, "He makes me so happy I could cry, that hasn't happened in a while," as well as, "My new boyfriend...he's the best and I hope you know it." That crushed me beyond words. Today, I checked it and it read, "One of those lonely, wandering, broken hearted fools walkin' around out there with no where to go...BOYS ARE AWFUL. Unless we get back together by some happy miracle, I'm not doin' this again for another year. I can't do this anymore!!" So, I called her up. We had a very good chat. We're planning on going out to the club tonight. All it took was time and no contact. It was difficult with the other man in the picture, but someone has a very good quote for their signature, about passion and flames. If you had a strong relationship, you have nothing to worry about with another guy around. We're not together yet, but the guy is out the picture and we're talking all the time. Thank-you for all the advice. Hopefully things work out. If it's meant to be, it will. I'll keep you posted. We'll use this chance to catch up and build an already strong friendship. The only obstacles: her friends hate me, so does her mom. lol....It's gonna be an uphill battle. Nicholas
-
Fantasia, I changed in the way that I don't sell drugs anymore, which was a root cause for a lot of our relationship dysfunction. I'm trying to move forward with my life, to make a contribution. I was a plague on society before I got caught. Straight up. I now realize to the full extent, just how much damage I was doing to people's lives. My co-defendant said, this is a fork in the road in our lives. We can go one way, or we can go another. I can get right back into selling crack and pick up where I left off. Or I can advance myself and apply for university and get a legitimate job. I have chosen the latter. This experience is so frustrating. I can go to jail for two years, that's not a problem. I did a crime, I can do the time. I am emotionally prepared for that option. But the break-up is what hits me the most. How do I deal with this bitterness, this need to call her on the phone and lash out? I'm at a loss of words for the whole situation with her. I'm so hurt inside.
-
Hey all, This no-contact thing is really driving me crazy. I am becoming so bitter towards it. She hasn't talked to me in over two weeks. No, "How was your court date?" No, "How are you holding up, Nicholas." This is really bothering me, and I'm not sure how to take it. If and when she contacts me, it is going to be difficult to remain a level of civility. I feel so low and insignificant. My ex doesn't even care about my fate... Hurt and bitter, Nicholas
-
Well, you see benq, it sounds a lot more serious than it is. The police are essentially trying to throw the book at me. Three kilograms sells for roughly ninety thousand dollars in my city. Ninety to one hundred thousand. At the beginning of the night, I left with two thousand dollars worth of dope. Its one of those laws, where, if you rob a bank for twenty dollars, you'll still be charged with Robbery under $5,000. The weapon is an exacto knife, that was part of a survival kit. The trafficking, they can't even prove because we did not make a direct sale to a police officer. They just saw us walk into someone's house. That will get thrown out, along with the weapon. The possession and the proceeds of crime are what's really going to hit us hard. Canada's judicial system is quite lax, and I have a clean record. It all depends on what deal my lawyer can make with the Crown. Nicholas
-
Well, benq, I've been charged with five counts: Two (2) counts of trafficking a controlled substance (cocaine) under three kilograms. Possession of a controlled substance (cocaine), with intent to traffic, with an amount not exceeding three kilograms. Possession of a weapon detremental to the public peace Possession of stolen property, or proceeds of crime.... ...sigh...those are kind of a summary of the charges. Nicholas
-
Hey man, Same situation as me, my girlfriend was with another guy less than a week later. She's kissing him and everything. But, like I've already said, "Sometimes when you drive a car too fast, they crash." She is trying to fill the void you left. It sounds like a rebound guy. Have faith in your relationship. If you were a good guy, which it sounds like you are, you should have nothing to worry about. I wouldn't even call her to apologize. When she calls you, say, "Hey, I meant to apologize a couple of weeks ago for the way I acted," just try to sound sincere. If you call her, it just looks like you want to talk to her, and you'll try anything to do so. Stay strong man. This no contact thing is hard. Its probably like trying to quit heroin, or something. Its very difficult. But the results will most likely speak for themselves. Nicholas
-
Hey noggy, Sounds like you're going through a rough time. However, it's not going to beat you. I know what you mean, about not sleeping or being able to eat. But just keep busy and it will pass. Concentrate on a hobby. I work out and practise piano. In the past two weeks, I have become incredible at piano, if I do say so myself. Give her space. I am in the no contact phase myself, and you need to be patient. I saw my ex at the bar with her new guy, and he said, "She doesn't want to talk to you, allright?" That was hard. That was like the e-mail he sent you. My friends flew into a rage at that point. She broke up with me just as I got arrested for drug trafficking, and they were so insulted and angry that they smashed her winshield. (I took care of the damage, etc.) The other guy is always a nuisance, but how is he better than you? He's not. Keep him out of your mind. He's not on your level. Keep doing you, work out, concentrate on moving forward in your life, and she will come around. Let her have her space and things should materialize from there. All of a sudden, your calls will stop and she'll be left to think...hey, what's going on? Nicholas
-
Lewis, I gotta admit, I feel like I'm one of the only persons that is having this problem right now. I'm 21, young, and I feel all alone. So it was incredibly inspiring to read your post. Sometimes it feels so hopeless, to get on the right track again. I'm glad you have a career job and are legit. That means it is possible to get on track. And not having to worry about who is around the corner is reassuring, to say the least. I want to go on to be a pianist. The past three weeks have been instrumental (funny pun). I have been practising my craft to get my mind off of everything. In some ways, it is almost a Godsend, because this allows me to shape up!!
-
Benqburner, I have always been a fighter, I have always been an optimist. As far as the legal issues, I'm confident that if I show that I've turned my life around, then I should have no worries. I'm not going to be counted out because of this. I made a mistake, but I still have two legs, two arms and a family that loves me. The girl, now thats a different story. As I've mentioned, she started messing around on me, at one point I saw her at the bar with the guy. So it was a harsh break-up, I left saying some very harsh things. We've had no contact, however, today I was really hurt when she got her mother to drop off all of my things. That was kind of a slap in the face, and I was deeply troubled by it. This no contact thing is really hard. She's got a new guy and everything, and there are a lot of things troubling me about the whole situation. But, as many have advised, all you can do is make improvements in your life and hopefully people will see the changes. I will learn from this!! Nicholas
-
Well its been 5 complete days of NC......
nicholascrack replied to JustPlainSad's topic in Getting Back Together
justplainsad, It seems as though your no contact has been doing wonders. Good for you! In my humble, personal opinion, her driving to your street shows that she is wondering what you are up to. Keeping no contact is very difficult and it shows that you've been strong! As far as the waitresses, I say hit it up. It gives you a chance to get your mind off of everything going around you! Keep up the good work, and good luck! Nicholas -
The fact that she is with another guy so quickly, to me, means that she is trying to fill the void that I left in her life. But she is moving too fast, in my opinion. Which made me think of an analogy: Sometimes when you drive a car too fast, it crashes. Sometimes when you build a house without a strong foundation, it simply crumbles. Something to think about, for all of you people who's exes have hooked up so fast. They are trying to replace you. But it rarely works out like that. Now when I saw her new guy at the bar making out with some other girl, I almost called her up and said, "The car crashes a lot sonner when the driver doesn't keep his or her eyes on the road," but thought better of it. Don't lose hope, people. I am at the beginning with this break-up, but I urge you to not give up. If it's meant to be, it will be. Maybe some people can elaborate. Thank you for your wisdom and support. Nicholas
-
Well, after a few days of no contact, I'm kind of at a crossroads. I'm never one to give up, we've gotten back together three times in our three year relationship. This time is such a big hurdle. I changed so much in the course of the past six months. We've both done a lot of damage to our relationship and friendship. I've got no intent on seeing other girls right now. The thought of that alone makes me feel a little sick. My only coping mechanism would be to put my head down and go make some money. Sometimes the only thing that would cheer me up is a new set of rims on my car. It's not about giving up, it's about changing focus. Time to get started with my life again. I would always be ready to go back to her anytime. But in the meantime, there's too much money out there. Nicholas
-
kitten, I was joking about not being able to have a gun anymore. Even when I was selling drugs, I'd never keep a gun on me. Don't worry, man. I got no intent to do anyting to anybody. I could crush him and beat him with a bag of money, then run him over with my Mercedes. He's no where near my level and I'm not too worried. But I understand your frustration. How is no contact really productive when the ex is with someone else already? That's what I'm trying to figure out right now. You said it, "If she's with a new guy, and you're not contacting her at all, then she has absolutely no reason to miss you or think of you." Now what's the solution? Nicholas
-
Benqburner, My ex's current beau is a gymnastics instructor. I would love to show him exactly what's up. But for reasons beyond my control, I am prohibited from breaching the peace. I can't even carry a gun around anymore. Can you believe that!?!? Mr. Six, I love how you put that. I never thought about how all these actions are doing nothing but breed mutual hatred from the new couple. They now have the opportunity to talk about us, and in some cases, even laugh about us. Now if we flip the script and play it cool, we end up looking mature and confident. Some very good ideas, Mr. Six, I must say. Sincerely, Nicholas
-
Kitten, you are absolutely right. If I was wrong about this, I would look like such a psycho. I mean, I feel like calling her up and saying, "This is the piece of trash you ditched me for? He ceats after four days!!" But you're right, it would just look like I was trying to break them up. If it weren't for my frickin probation, I'd be able to carry around my camera phone... Anyways, your advice is greatly appreciated. I really didn't know what to do with this. Thanks. Nicholas
-
Great advice, everyone: Now, I had a pretty good look at this guy that my ex is with. Believe me, I wanted to punch him out quite repeatedly. But tonight, I went to a bar with my friends and I could have sworn he was there! He was with a whole group of girls and was kissing and making out with one of them. We made eye contact a few times and I was about to take a picture of them with my friend's camera phone, but he quickly vanished. I am trying to be in a strict no contact phase with my ex. But she has something of mine that I desperately need. Now this has happened. How do I kind of bring it up, assuming I have the right guy, without looking like a desperate idiot? I'm not sure what to do...I don't want to talk to her at all, but I really need this one cell phone of mine that she still has... Help!! Nicholas
-
I could get house arrest, I could get 2.5 years. It all depends. It'll be a while before I'll be able to find out. We had a fight. I tried to say that I was going to two certain clubs tonight, and that it would be dumb if her and her new beau and his crew showed up. Last time there were problems. I don't want to screw up my probation because of something stupid. I thought I was in my right mind to say, hey, this is my future, let's not endanger it with something stupid. Well, she took it the wrong way. I'm just trying to say, the last times we've bumped heads, we've almost scrapped. I care about my future and want to prevent that. I just want to be responsible and mature, not give an opportunity for something to happen. Now this no contact thing must begin. We'll see how that goes. I'm pretty skeptical. We didn't leave on good terms. Nicholas
-
Just out of curiosity, outrageousxo, what happened in your relationship, if you don't mind me asking? Thanks. Nicholas
-
outrageousxo, I gotta tell you, I really respect your point of view. As you know, having a relationship with someone when he or she is in that line of work is definitely hard. I'm not proud of what I did. It's the life that I chose. If you do the crime, you do the time, and that is something that I'm willing to accept. You say things like, "maybe you deserve this cuz you were being greedy and chose money over love. shame on you." Well, I'm not going to beat around the . I stopped wanting bush and make excuses, but when my friends approach me, some of whom have three cars and a bike, to get in on this, it was hard for me to say no. I talked it over with my ex, said I was only going to do it for a while (famous words, as you probably know). We agreed to give it a try. There are many conflicts when you live that life. My ex kept on complaining and saying that it was "wrong." My friends have basically given me the power to make ten g's a month. I'd buy my ex Burberry this, Gucci that, gave her money all the time, but after a while I got tired of her double-standard. She'd complain, but would love to go shopping with me. I'm risking my life for this. That's when things changed. I started to resent her. We break up, but still hang out lots. Which brings me up to three weeks ago. I get busted, she goes to my house, grabs my money, you know, ties up all my loose ends for me, drives my mercedes in someone's garage in case it would get seized. I stopped hanging with my friends and devoted a lot of my time to her. I was a good boyfriend, the best, some would say. This drug money changed me. I'm sorry. I wish I never got into it. I feel like an idiot. But that's what I chose. But there was a commitment before and after all of this. Its rich, poor. Free, incarcerated. I'd never do what she did. And I hope you wouldn't either. Nicholas
-
I really apprecaited the advice where you said to completely ignore the other guy, put him out of your mind. I thought that was good, solid advice and I've been practising it. I know longer feel the need to compare my masculinity with him (he's a gymnast, I've been shot four times). Anyways, I was talking with my ex today and she is starting to think that all this contact we are having feels like cheating. She's been seeing this guy for four days, has already started kissing him, etc. They are moving fast. I still feel the need to put my foot in the door by trying to spend nice, comfortable time with her. After all, I am admittedly her best friend. What do I do? P.S. I was just kidding about being shot four times.... Thanks...Nicholas
-
Hey benq, It is a pretty difficult time right now, I'll admit. A lot of my friends who were with me when I was ballin, don't seem to ever want to hang out anymore, even though I helped them out a lot. Selling drugs is something I'm not proud of, and I'm ready for the consequences. She went with me to see the lawyer today. I appreciated her presense. It gave me a lot of strength. With everything happening, I almost got choked up in the waiting room when I was with her. I was just getting overwhelmed with emotion. We ate together, saw my probation officer, etc. It was a romantic afternoon. LOL!! She is wary of hanging out with me, as I mentioned before, because she doesn't want to fall back in love with me. She tells me she loves me still, but not like that. Although she is seeing someone else and already making out with him, I'm pretty confident. I keep joking about having a "four-year plan like Stalin to get her back." We have lots of contact, I'm the first person and the last person she calls each night. But I try to make the encounters comfortable and stress-free. The other guy thing doesn't really bother me. She is moving pretty fast with him. I kind of interpret that as a need to immediately replace me. What do you guys think? I'm just trying to be cool and a good friend. Thanks for your concern, Benq
-
Regretably, it was crack-coccaine. The hard part is not knowing what's going to happen. The legal system takes a long time to get its wheel's running. My ex and I are in constant communication. But she's still spending time with this other guy, whom I almost got into a fight with on the weekend, but didn't, because I didn't want to breach my probation. We're meeting to go see my lawyer tomorrow. A lot of the reason she is wary of hanging out with me is because she is worried she'll go back to me. A lot of your posts gave me an upper hand and I feel so happy that I read them. I was confident and stopped pleading and begging altogether! I now appear stronger than ever, but am quick to admit that she is to thank for a lot of that support. Just the timing to get a new boyfriend is so harsh on me.
-
Hi everyone, I have to start off by saying how helpful a lot of this advice has been already. I have heard some amazing things, and have tried to put them into practise already. I'll start off by telling you a bit about myself and my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. I am twenty-one years old. I met my ex-girlfriend three years ago. We had an amazing time together. We shared an intense passion for music, something that will bond us together for a long time. Recently, six months ago, I was approached by some friends to start selling drugs. I talked it over with my ex, and she was obviously very resistant to that idea. We said we would give it a shot. The money changed me instantly. I bought a brand new car, wore the hottest clothes and suddenly put her on the back burner. We broke up several times, got back together. It wasn't until three weeks ago, that my whole world came crashing down on me. I was arrested and charged. This was a shock to a lot of people. I am honestly remorseful. I messed up a lot of lives just to make money. My ex was there to stand by me the whole time. We had begun to become intimate again. Then, much to my shock, I saw her at the club with another guy, holding hands. Two days before, she was with me in the courtroom as I made my plea. I flew off the handle. Needless to say, I did a lot of damage. We had some pretty harsh words on the phone, she made it clear that we'll never get back together again. She is already going out with a guy after meeting him four days ago. I feel hurt because of the timing. I'm 21 facing 2.5 years of jail, and that's when she decides to leave me? She was with me while I was on top, but left me when I hit the bottom... What are some of your thoughts?