BayArean

the ex broke up with me about 9 months ago, was with her for 6 years. Did the no contact thing which helped. I was getting used to spending more time with my friends and myself. I end up going to the giants and a's game in San Francisco with some friends, which is only 30 mins away from where i live, And at the bottom of the ninth in a tied game i see my ex and her new boyfriend about 7 rows down. It's a real heart stopper. All my feelings that i had when we first broke up came back to haunt me. Now i'm on here ................. But yeah in due time the pain will eventually start gettin less and less. It's all a big cycle and a huge learning experience. We're just on the downside of it right now.

you know what. I haven't talked to her about this. Probably because i don't want her to stop talking to me because i do really have feelings for her. At the same time i know it causes me this pain and all the days of nc that's been helping me almost resets. I guess i don't wanna lose her but at the same time i know that if i need to heal all the way it's the only way to go.

well i know it's not allright but it happens. Here's my story in short, was with my highschool gf for 6 years. Broke up just last year, little bit after we both turned 21. Relationship went sour, but we didn't break up on bad terms. Did the nc thing for like a month then she starts calling. We had sex about 4 times now (after the breakup). Here's the thing. She'll call, come over and then we end up getting to it. Sex is really great but it's the after feeling i hate. She won't call for like 2 weeks and then bamm she's back to calling and it feels like a cycle. I can't stand that feeling of not talking to her and always wondering what she's up to. I dunno if i'm doing something wrong or if she's just trying to keep me around, i dunno? But this feeling of not knowing if you still have that chance or if i did something wrong the last time etc.. haunts me. I know if i leave her alone she will leave me alone and i'm just so in love with her still that i don't wanna. Any suggestions would help.

hey man, i feel you bro. My ex of 5 years just decided to stop giving the attention she used to give to me away to some other guy outta the blue. We were cool with each other for 5 years and then bam, she's on some other guys nuts. I too wanted her to feel the hurt i went through but i just took it upon myself to understand that maybe its the best thing for both of us because now I can see what else is out there. Hard to say and hard to hear but it's true. If she was truly down for you, she wouldn't have left you like that. Seems like some women in this world don't realize the power they have over men in general. I know man it hurts but the only thing we can do is suck it up and move on (hard to say hard to hear). I still wake up thinking of her, it's been 2 months since, but i also know that I gotta do everything to benefit myself, to take care of myself and do things that just seem so selfish but i'm doing these things for MYSELF. Sure going out with your friends and keeping busy are hard but it's what you gotta do and make sure you really distance yourself from her. That'll help everything. We'll all heal, it's just takes time to find yourself and find the things to make you happy again. Good luck

Well fellas i'm feeling all of your pains right now!! Me and my ex were together for 6 years and then bam! She turns 21 and she now realizes that she's been missing out on meeting all these different people and different things to do. She too was my first, everything, and it's hard to realize that she's moved on and I feel left hanging. We too talked about marriage and kids and just living together etc.... And I did mess up on my part by trying to do the NC thing and breaking it a little too fast. She came at me with the I miss you's and everything else like that. I gave in and ended up kicking it with her a lil too early. Just hurt because she wasn't there everyday for me anymore and she didn't call me every like hour just to see what i was doing. Instead she was calling some other guy and giving him the same attention i used to have. (that hurt), Then she tells me all these good things that this chump is doing right and that hurts even more. Just yesturday i kicked it with her for a little bit, we shared laughs and just hung out like we used to. But yeah it hurts the next day when they don't call you to even see how you're doing. She still calls me babe and she talked about how when "we" have kids were going to do this and this and this right. I guess my situation is a lil different but i feel you in the end. There's times when i can't even function right and i know i need to get out. It hurts. What's helping me right now is the gym, and just the motivation that when i finally get outta school, i'm going to be rich and she's not and i'm just going to live right for myself. I guess i'm still having trouble finding and doing things for myself but i'm adjusting and learning that i come first before her. Anyways i do feel this hurt and you aren't alone. We'll make it big and we'll find some other women that'll make us just as happy or even happier. Keep your head up man and just stay busy. Tell yourself that you can worry about things later between you. You know!! You'll be okay!

Hey man i totally feel you with video games and staying home hurt. I was a big gamer and now I feel I can't even play my games without going crazy. We in the same boat but i took up working out in the gym and that sort of helps. But what really helps me is just bettering my own life. Hang in there, there's more women on this planet then men and you will meet somebody else. Go out, meet people it helps but i know how it is when you get home, lonely. Just find things to do and always remember that the better you make yourself the faster you'll appreciate everyone else, and the faster they'll appreciate you.

Well my fellow enotaloners, here's my situation. My ex-girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. I did the NC and it worked all to fast. About 2 weeks after she calls and we confess our love and how hurt we were without each other and we did what we were doing before and in my opinion i had a feeling that it was too early but at the same time out of love i tried to make it happen. I've had her locked down for these 5 years and now she's out meeting new people and already found someone that she says is only a friend (she says that she won't hook up with this guy because he's not something she wants) But deep inside i know that she's jocking this guy because i've heard her on the phone with him and she talks to him like she used to talk to me when we were in love without all the mushy stuff. Now at the same time, we talked marriage and she was totally down for it and she was just waiting for the ring. But today when we kicked it the guy calls and I know how much it hurts to hear all this so i tell her to get off the phone. She gets mad, I take her home and we talk for like 20 mins about our feelings. She asks if I'd wait for her (which i'm confused, maybe she needs time?) and i kiss her hand and we say we love each other etc... During the 3 weeks apart i've been really hurt and my question is, do i wait or do i move on and just do my own thing??????? She says that we'll get married someday but I don't know whether or not she needs some space. She says that she wants to see if things are there with this other guy and i know that if they aren't she'll be back.. I really love this girl but at the same time i know i don't wanna feel that hurt again that all of us here have felt.. It's not a good feeling.. What to do??????

Thats mos definitely reasonable. I hope things do work out because i do really love this girl.

I just broke up with my gf of 5 years recently and totally took her for granted. Now she's starting to see other people and i guess jeolousy takes effect. But all in all i really do love the girl and i want to be with her. About two weeks of not seeing each other, she decides to see me. We do our normal thing of dinner and hanging out and we start talking about our relationship. I tell her how hurt i've been and she expresses her hurt feelings and she cries etc. Now. She was down to marry me as i was ready, before the breakup, but i'm so young that i know i couldn't support us. But now she seems like she's trying to get at this other guy and she knows it's too late to get back together. She ends our conversation saying that she couldn't talk to me right now because she said "I know how easy it would be to get back with you right now and i just can't, you can wait but you don't have to etc." Now i'm lost and don't know what to do. I feel hurt everyday. I try going out with other people and she's still on my mind. I really want to be with her but at the same time i feel that moving on is logical. Don't know if i should wait or try to move on.. ? I do really love this girl and would marry her on the dime. I dunno though..