fellowes7892000

that's what i'm wondering?? do you think it is a sign??

hey guys, what does it mean when you're talking to a girl and while you are talking to her she's pulling these "blue-steele" (zoolander) kind of looks at you?? she is a model so maybe it's just habit but I haven't seen her do it while talking to anyone else?? she's done it twice while talking to me?? what's the deal with that?

maybe you had something in your teeth????? or do you have a peculiar shaped moustache?? people look at those things........just kidding. glances are very weird. i think if she doesn't necessarily like you, she obviously finds you interesting for some reason so make you move buddy. good luck!

I'm in a similar spot at the moment. i'm not totally over my ex (went out for 2 yrs, broke up 5 months ago). You feel like you want to move on, but as soon as you do, you wonder whether you're ready. i'm so worried that if I do move on, I'll just be too clingy to the new girl - that I'll be so paranoid about her not being as keen as I am. I think if you feel like you can give to the new guy the same as what he can give you - then go for it. if you think that you spend too much time thinking of the past, then I'd say you're not ready. you want to heal now, not have to do it later. if you're not ready then this new thing will fall apart and you'll be back to where you started. if you take some time, then you can give a ew relationship a proper go. good luck

hey - here's the latest: after 2 weeks of her texting me, and asking to catch up, now I haven't heard from her for almost a fortnight. I've texted her 3 times, not asking anything, just saying i hope she's having a good day etc, which she normally responds to, but for some reason she isn't even replying. I can't understand how she's gone from wanting to catch up, to not even replying to my texts just like that???? I was starting to feel happy that maybe we can stay friends, but now she won't even text me. I don't know if she's waiting for me to ask her to catch up, or what?? I don't think so - there's no way I'd just ask her to catch up now because it seems like she totally wants nothing to do with me now.Maybe she's found someone new and wants to kill all contact??? She said just 2 weeks ago that she wasn't ready for someone new. I'm at a loss as to what this girl wants, and it really hurts to be asked to catch up and stay friends and then all of a sudden now she won't even reply my txt's. aarrrgghhh any ideas?????

maybe he's at the point where if there was ever a time to break it off - now would be the easiest, ie.the long distance excuse could make it easier, so if he does decide to stick it out, then that means he's in it for the long run. What I mean is that right now he is maybe looking at this situation as "I can either make an effort and stay with this girl possibly forever, or I can use this timing as the best way to end it? Do I want to be with her forever???" I think that's maybe one thing he could be trying to sort out. Let him know how serious you are, or if you think he already knows this, then don't push it in his face, this will drive him away. Be there for him, let him know very clearly that if he wants to talk, then you want to as well. Let him feel like you can be there to help sort things out if he wants that, but remember that some issues need to be resolved just by him and no-one else. That's usually an indicator if a guy is takling something big - they want to sort it out themselves. Guys don't work on big life issues with other people, we naturally like to work them out ourselves. We just need time and understanding during this process, but i know that sucks because you want answers. Whatever you do, don't go trying to second-guess what is going through his head because I can guarantee you'll get it wrong, and that'll only cause you headaches. good luck - keep us posted!!!

i think that guys break off most short-term relationships, and girls break off most of the long-term relationships.

thanks for all your support guys and gals. i'm going to try not to contact her. i just can't halp but feel maybe she wants to be friends but knows i'm undecided, and since last time it pretty much took me to realise i was going to lose her to sort myself out, maybe she's trying to do that with this friends thing as well?? just a theory i came up with this morning after waking up shattered, then progressing to frustrated, then happy, then empowered, then sad, then shattered again , then.....

hey guys - here's an update: she had been texting me for 2 weeks stating clearly that she wanted to meet up. the last time was on wednesday. now it's tuesday and i haven't heard from her at all? Friday would have been our 2 yr anniversary, so i texted her and kind of thanked her for the great times - no reply. on monday morning (after having not corresponded on the weekend for the 1st time since we broke up), i texted her saying have a great week, i hope the band is working out, have a good day at work - no reply i can't really understand what's going on? she normally replies but now hasn't. last week she was saying she missed me and stuff, now she's not even replying my txt's. this is the longest i've been without her contacting me since we first got together. i don't know what's going on. i'm trying not to wait by the phone but every time it rings or i get a text, i'm shattered that it isn't her. has she decided she's had enough? am i the most pathetic guy in the world??

I guess it depends on why you broke up??? Maybe there's more to it. If she feels like she doesn't deserve to talk to you then maybe she did something you don't know about. I'm just painting the worst case scenario here - I don't know. I'd say you need to ask yourself if you want her back. If yes, then find out what she's frustrated about. I'm not the biggest believer in the no-contact, but I do see the merits sometimes. I think that maybe in this case you've NC'ed her enough for her to contact you, so maybe now that she realises what she's lost, she might be more willing to positively respond to you contacting her. I think first we need to know why you broke up.

I asked this very question to a relationships councillor, and her response was that in all relationships, if a problem is truly solved then the relationship is guaranteed to be stronger. This doesn't in any way indicate how many relationships are save-able, but it does say that if two people do decide to get back together and actually work out their problems, then they'll be happier than they ever were together. I tend to agree heavily. I think that problems are for solving not for running away from. just my 2 cents

thanks for the advice. she already knows plain and clear what my feelings are. I have told her that I love her and am ready to give myself 100% to her. I've told her how sorry I am for keeping her waiting. All of these things are well and truly out there. She knows I want to get back together, and she still is asking to see me, I think that if she can do this, then she's probably not spending enough time thinking about what it's like to be me. I think she feels like the craziness is over now and we can be friends. The problem is that the craziness is not over for me. I think if she contacts me and proposes a meet up, then that's what I'll say. I don't think I can meet with her despite every fibre of my being wanting me to. thanks for the advice so far guys, it really makes all the difference when all you've got is manly friends who don't talk about this kind of stuff. cheers

Hi guys, here's a very quick version of what's going on: I was going out with a girl for 2 yrs. We broke up about 3 months ago. We have tried to be friends, but it's more like me trying to get her back an her trying to be friends. We broke up because I took so long to say "I love you" that she had convinced herself that it would never happen and talked herself out of loving me. We tried (I tried, she never really did I feel) to work it out and she eventually kissed another guy and that's where it ended. I broke it off but she wanted to as well because she said she didn't love me any more. But soon after, I asked her back - I totally forgive her and still do totally love her. Since then she's maintained that it wouldn't work, and we should be friends. Now she wants to catch up with me. We talk about once a week on the phone, and text each other during the week a couple of times usually. We haven't seen each other for 2 months. She wants to catch up, and has texted a few times in the last couple of weeks asking if I want to catch up with her. I initially told her I was too busy, then the second time she asked I told her I'd love to but I'm not sure if I'm ready. She always apologises shortly after saying that she's sorry she is pushing me to catch up, it's just that she misses me. She once texted saying that she is sorry she's pushing, and that she is just being selfish. I want to catch up, but I know it's going to hurt. I want her back, and I think she just wants to be friends. But what if I don't catch up with her?? I want to be there for her, and if it helps her feel better to have me for a friend then I'd do it, but I just know it's going to take me backwards. Do you guys think I should meet up with her????

thanks for the help everyone - here's the latest, i'd love to hear some more toughts, i was trying no contact lately (only really the last week or so) but she has contacted me several times with texts and even called me. She actually texted me asking me what I was "doing tonight" the other day, which was always her preamble to "lets get together and do something" in the past. I told her I wasn't doing anything major. Then she called me on my mobile which she never does (she always calls my home phone), and we had a chat and she illuded to her bringing this mobile phone battery of mine that she still has over to me. I told her I thought she should just throw it out because having it lying around would only be yet another reminder and I'm still not coping with being just friends very well. I told her that it's still very hard for me and she apologised that she might have not realised. BUT THEN - the very next day she texts me asking if I want to get together for a coffee (we haven't seen in each other in almost 2 months). Beside the fact that I don't know if I'm ready to meet with her and do things like that, I was too busy with things that day, so I just texted her back saying I had too much on, but definitely another time. She texted back late that night saying that her bids to see me are just to selfishly comfort herself and that she was sorry. Here I was thinking either (a) I think she is just really wanting this friends thing to work out, or (b) O my god, there is the very tiniest chance that maybe she wants me back(I knew this was a very long shot). But it seems I was actually the fool again. She just knew that I'd be nice to her, tell her she was lovable, and beautiful etc, then she'd be right for another few weeks. I do feel sometimes that this was a very inconsiderate and selfish thing to do by her, but I can't hang onto these thoughts. I know she didn't propose it just to help herself, she probably did want to see me just to see me to some extent, and I'm sure if she thought hard about what it would be like for me to see her, she probably wouldn't have asked. It just seems though that I'm always defending her actions, and that disappoints me sometimes. But just to thnk of what she always gave me, and how much I care for her, just makes me feel like I'm still so totally in love with her. I know that I still am, there's no question. We texted again this morning though and it's all bad. Last night a girl wanted to hook up with me and although she's a great girl, I couldn't do it. I'm too in love with my ex. I stupidly texted my ex early this morning drunk and saying how much I loved her and this was killing me, and now another poor girl has been hurt (she started crying because her friends had for some stupid reason told her I was actually keen on her, then I had to tell her I was in love with someone else...thanks "friends"). My ex texted back encouraging me to persue this new girl, saying it might be the best thing for me etc. She said she's not ready to move on either, but one day we both will. This cut very much to hear her advise me to persue this new girl. I guess there's definitely no question now - she never wants to get back together. I'm pretty shattered about this, it has really hit me hard. Just thought I'd give you an update, writing about it is the only way I can get an objective view of the situation, and everyones feedback is always so helpful, so thanks for reading cheers dave

Hey thanks for the advice, I tried not to initiate contact over the last two weeks and she ended up texting me like 3 times. I replied each time but not mentioning how cr*p I felt or how much I missed her etc. She definitely wasn't keen to let me go completely. I'll try no contact again for the next couple of weeks at least then reassess the situation. I just struggle to walk away for the following reasons 1. I love her and although speaking to her hurts afterwards, it's still great to hear her voice 2.she meant so much to me and gave me the best 2 yrs of my life that I can't bear to think of life without her at all. 3.she has problems with depression and anxiety and I'd hate to ever put her in a place where she feels like she can't contact me if she needs to (which she has since we broke up). I don't have a clue what to do that's best for both of us, but I'll try to get her to sort herself out without me being there constantly. I'm pretty sure that she would contact me if she was really having problems. We'll see how it goes. thanks for the help again

Hi Guys - I know it's a long one but I'd really appreciate some help on this: My girlfriend broke up with me almost 3 months ago. Here's the summary - I took too long to say 'I love you' to her and she had started to talk herself out of loving me because she never thought it would happen despite the fact that I kept telling her how much I loved being with her and how my feelings were getting very strong. She broke up w me but we got back together for a few weeks soon after because we both agreed it was worth a shot. She kissed another guy and said it made her feel sick, she regretted it, she was so drunk, she stopped right away as soon as she thought of me, she told me the next day. I totally forgave her. I knew she would never do it again. She couldn't get back w me because she said she didn't feel like she was in that place anymore and she didn't know if she could ever love me again, and it was TOO HARD to try (to think that I'm not worth it was what cut the most). I totally loved her, and I definitely still do. I want to be w her for the rest of my life. We are in Australia and she's going to live in England for a year and I told her I'd follow her soon before we broke up the 2nd time. I love her and miss her so much, I can't think of ever wanting to be w anyone else. We've kept up contact - phone calls about once a week, and heaps of txt messages. We talk/txt about heaps of things - how we are going, how are our families, are you ok? type things, we both apologise to each other all the time - i apologise for taking her for granted for so long, she apologises for hurting me so badly. She txt's when she's down or somethings bothering her, even weird little things like her boobs have shrunk!! things which we used to discuss but I don't know to me it feels a bit weird now. When she calls, it's like she doesn't call to chat - she calls for something else. it's hard to explain, she calls but doesn't talk, I can tell instead of chatting, she's sitting there listening to us in her head. like she 's an onlooker. if i don't do the talking there will just be silence half the time. sometimes though we do have good conversations, usually when i call her and she doesn't expect it - she doesn't have the inhibitions then. I tell her that I miss her and she says she misses me too. A couple of times when she's called up because she was feeling down, she has even started crying and saying "sometimes i think I''m the dumbest girl in the world for letting you go". That makes me want her even more!!! But after we talk, I feel terrible. I'm sick of crying. I hate to admit it but that's all I do these days. hardly a manly thing to do i know. And sometimes her txt's are weird - like yesterday she texted me and asked "what r u up to tonight?" which is so something she would never ordinarily ask. Then she called last night but seemed like she was in a hurry to get off the phone. I'm totally spun out here. She keeps mentioning this ball I'm going to soon which she was originally invited to be my partner at. I sometimes think she wants me to ask her to still come, just so she can say no. It's all weird. She wants to be friends, and she wants me to be there when she needs me. I do too, but I want so badly to be so much more. I love her. If we do succeed in trying to be friends for a bit longer, eventually she'll find someone new and I won't be able to handle it. It would kill me. I don't know what to do, I'm so confused and the only thing that I know for sure in my life right now is that I love her. Is it too late for us ever to be back together? Can we ever really be friends? What should i do?? thanks dave

Hi all, please help me: my girlfriend & I of 2 years broke up. She could say she loved me after about 6 months, but I couldn't. she waited until about 3 months ago and I finally said it, but by then she was so convinced I would never say it she had talked herself out of it. She didn't love me anymore. She ended it but after a week apart we talked about it and she agreed we should try to work on it. 2 weeks later she got drunk and kissed a guy who was moving in on her for ages. She told him straight away it was a mistake and then told me straight away. I totally forgive her but she obviously doesn't forgive herself and says that it must have meant she could never love me again. I can see in her eyes that she still likes me but she says that she can't get back together with me because it's too hard and too messy, and she doesn't think she can ever love me again. I've told her I still love her and forgive her but she can't make herself do it. She has noted all different reasons at various stages 1. It would be too hard, 2. she doesn't love me anymore, 3. She is in a messed up place, 4.she needs to know that she doesn't have to depend on me to make her feel good (she has struggled with depression).It's killing me, and I don't want her to be getting depressed again. Do I keep fighting for her or just get over it? I truly thought she was the one. She did too once and I really think she can love me again., Unfortunatley we've now been apart for about a month and every time we've talked I've totally broken down and it's ended up with me almost begging her back. I hate it. Is it too late to give her space and get her back or have I forced her into getting rid of me forever. I want to text her or write to her just to let her know that I'm sorry for making it hard for her when what she needed was space, and I really don't want her to remember me as a groveling loser, but as the guy she could once depend on who was strong when she needed him.I really try to respect her decision but it's so hard because she always focusses on the negatives, and I'm worried I've forever lost the girl I am in love with. help please ???