boltnrun

I'm sure you understand why I asked. You may be surprised that some women dislike outsized penises. I personally know a man whose girlfriend broke up with him because his penis was large and it caused her pain and discomfort.

Please let me know if you find this question offensive. But are you or have you taken any supplements to enhance your physique?

And what's even better is, although there are lots of things nearby the neighborhood is still very quiet. And very clean. The streets are wide and filled mostly with gorgeous early 1900s era single family homes on large lots. My apartment used to be a single family home with servants quarters. My apartment used to be the servant's quarters! They divided them into four studio apartments and the large owners home is now one big single family home with a small apartment wedged into one corner of it. The grounds are lovely. And when I go on walks I can choose to walk among the vintage homes or along he Beach or to the cute shopping and dining district. It's just great. Is your city location quiet or is it a more bustling, active neighborhood?

I've sacrificed space to live in an absolutely amazing neighborhood. My apartment is postage stamp sized but the location! My brother was out here a couple of weeks ago and I was driving through on the way to pick up our cousin and he was exclaiming about all the neat little shops and cafes and how close I am to the beach. He said "You could eat at a different cafe every day for a month! And you could walk to all of them!" And I said "Yep, and that's why I put up with living in this tiny little apartment." Sure, I would like more space and I'd like to have a designated parking space and I would REALLY like to get a cat, but I don't want to give up this location. Maybe something will come available that has parking and allows pets but for now I'm content.

I'm sure you will. I am glad to know that most people aren't like your ex's mother or that man I dated. My ex husband's family welcomed me with open arms. They actually celebrated my ethnicity and thought it was awesome that they would have the opportunity to learn more about my culture. Really neat people. I probably felt worse about losing them as family than I did about my husband and I splitting, TBH.

I also disagree with the concept of "implied consent". Just because two people are married or in a relationship doesn't mean either of the parties has the right to engage in sexual activity with the other person at any and all times. That concept is what many men use when accused of marital rape. They claim such a thing can't exist because they have the "right" to sex with their wives any time they want it. That's just not true, legally OR morally. And that's why I respected my ex's wishes when he asked me to not touch him while he was sleeping. So what if we were naked in the same bed and in a long-ish relationship. He still had rights. I'm sorry that man did that to you. I'm also sorry you're experiencing trauma as a result. Would you consider talking to a therapist?

She was not reciprocating, she turned away and tried to indicate with her body language that what he was doing was unwelcome. So she apparently didn't flat out say "No, stop it!" But if I'm attempting sexual activity and the man is turned away and not responding positively I certainly wouldn't continue.

Once you asked him to stop, anything he attempted to do sexually after that was wrong, to say the least. Very wrong. And I don't care if you were nude or invited him to stay over or whatever. You asked him to stop and he ignored your request. I was in a relationship with a man for a couple of years. I am a very highly sexually charged person, so I would do things to him while he was asleep (of course we slept together nude). One morning he calmly asked me to stop doing that. He explained that he just wanted to be left alone when he was sleeping. Now, I love to be woken up with sexual activity but he didn't like it. So I respected his request and never again attempted to do sexual things to him while he slept. I cared about him and would not have ignored his request no matter how turned on I was.

If I can't fathom having sex with a man there's no way I can be in a relationship with him. And no, you shouldn't have to "rough it out" with someone you're in a relationship with. How miserable would that be for the both of you? Fearing you'll never find anyone else is a terrible reason to stay in a relationship. End this and then start thinking of ways to meet people, whether it's taking classes or volunteering or playing on a coed sports team...whatever. And being allergic to cats isn't a dating impediment lol. Not every woman on the planet has a cat!

There is no way to approach a business or organization that she hasn't even applied to yet (from your knowledge) to "warn" them about her. It also would come across as you trying to insert yourself into her life (whether or not that's actually the case). They would likely look at YOU as the problem, not her, and it could draw their attention to you. And not in a good way. Unless she has specifically threatened someone else she has done nothing illegal that you know of. If she has committed a crime against you, you are certainly within your rights to file a police report. But they can't preemptively reject someone as an applicant just because her ex says they shouldn't hire her.

In most circles you would be considered a "catch". But some people refuse to see anything except the color of one's skin. I've been approached and asked loudly "DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?" because I'm ethnically Latina. And been asked when I got into the country and yes, if I'm here legally. I even had a man I was dating tell me "You're the first Mexican I've ever been around who wasn't holding a leaf blower." I mean, really? You can do much better. And I agree, do some socializing and I bet you'll meet someone who'll make you VERY glad you walked away from that woman. And blocking is just fine. No need to leave a door open for that odious woman.

That's interesting. I have severe anxiety and while I definitely try to control my personal environment I've never tried to control the behavior of others and I don't feel I'm hypercritical of everyone around me. Sure, I do criticize my brother (on my journal) but I don't nitpick my friends over their life choices or who they get into relationships with and I don't get upset if family or friends don't give me praise or gratitude for things I choose to do for them, etc. I do realize mental disorders manifest differently for each individual. I personally see a lack of satisfaction with your own life, Alex, and it manifests as extreme criticism of everyone you encounter and as jealousy of people who have what you want for yourself.

I think he should have sent a thank you card, especially given that he chose to use the money. Apparently he disagrees and is willing to end his relationship with his grandmother over a (small) issue. That's a shame. This isn't about a family member, but I asked a close friend to come feed and water my cat while I was out of town. My friend lived literally a half mile away. He forgot two days in a row. I came home and my cat had no food and no water. I was upset but I also realized this friend was doing this as a favor for free, so I wasn't going to make it a thing. I simply hired a service after that. And he and I are still close friends. I just knew I couldn't rely on him for favors and that's fine.

I bet he likes her.

Why do you want to know why? Why do you care? "I'm just curious" isn't the reason why, BTW. What's the real reason?

My three closest friends are as follows: two are married and one is divorced like me but she lives thousands of miles away and NEVER visits my area. I don't moan about how she doesn't make time for me. I just plan to fly out to see her when I can and she generously opens her home to me. We haven't seen one another in person in almost 8 years but I don't take it as a personal slam against me or decide that she doesn't "prioritize" me! My two friends who are married live out of state. One of them has traveled twice (with his spouse) to see me and now it's my turn, so I will be visiting them next year. My other good friend who's married will not, and I mean WILL NOT, go anywhere without her husband. She missed my 50th birthday shindig because I had decided it would be "ladies only" and she refused to go unless her husband was welcome. So she missed it 🤷‍♀️ I would have liked for to be there but she chose not to be. And when I visit her city her husband MUST come along when we get together. Hey, her husband is a neat guy so it doesn't bother me one bit. I don't operate the same way, but their marriage is their business. Not mine. Are you willing to do anything about meeting new people? Are you willing to accept people as they are? Can you break this constant habit of insisting the world do things YOUR way? Can you let go of the jealousy, resentment and constant looking for hidden insults and rejections?

No, absolutely not. This is a coworker. Please stop gossiping about her to your coworkers. That's a very unprofessional thing to do. Plus they will tell her everything you say (with embellishments). If you like this young woman (I doubt she's a "girl" unless your company hires minors), ask her to meet you at break and share a snack or buy her a coffee.

And that still might not change anything. Just because you would all have kids doesn't mean you'll all be spending a lot of time together. What if their kids are into things your kids aren't? What if they're into hunting and fishing and your kids are into soccer or band? That wouldn't mean they're rejecting you. I get that your focus is on yourself but it's unrealistic to expect others to focus on you. Also, you are excellent at completely ignoring the great advice you're given. Your talent at tunnel vision is top notch. Why do you refuse to even acknowledge the advice people give you?

Did she say this or is this how you're interpreting the situation? Just because someone hosts a baby shower doesn't mean they expect to be bombarded with presents. I didn't. Alex, I've said it over and over (and so have many others)...you are spending SO much time being jealous and resentful of others because they have what you want for yourself. How is that working out for you? Does being "hurt" and jealous and critical make you feel better? Does it improve your life? I get these women have been your friends for years, but circumstances change. Most of the friends I've had for a long time are far away or busy with other things. Just because I'm divorced and single and have more availability doesn't mean they should prioritize seeing me over whatever else they have going on. Instead of criticizing out of jealousy or bemoaning how it's not like the old days anymore, how about finding ways to meet new people? There must be dozens of young women your age who are single or who don't have children and share your interests in baking, homemaking and whatever else you're interested in. In my city there are many businesses that host events that are women-friendly. I just found out about a women's walking group. I will be joining that group. There is a business within walking distance that hosts "wellness" events. Other businesses host macrame classes, mosaic classes, individual dance events, cooking classes...the lists goes on and on. Unless you live in some small remote town that has nothing going on, you too could join in on all the fun. But you have to make an effort.

He likes you just fine. But he doesn't want a relationship with you. You can refuse to accept this and hold on for 25+ years like my friend did if you want. But that doesn't seem like a pleasant way to spend your life. My friend has had a miserable life because she refused to let go.

I keep seeing stories of young people taking their own lives because they were rejected by one or both parents after they told them they were gay or lesbian. I can't fathom ever rejecting my own child, who I have loved since I knew he was conceived, just because he loves a man. It's heartbreaking.

I agree that it is extremely unethical and unprofessional for your therapist to "diagnose" someone they've never even met let alone treated. A therapist's job isn't to give you false ways of making you feel better but rather to give you tools to manage whatever issues you have. If your issue is attaching yourself to inappropriate people or situations they should be helping you with that, not giving you fake soothing mechanisms that aren't effective in the long term. BTW, I have worked with a therapist I found online through Better Help and she is excellent. She has ME do the work, she doesn't just tell me things I want to hear to make my life "easier". I have no idea if my ex is a narcissist, but he is extremely toxic. He treated me poorly then would call me crying, telling me he knew he was an a-hole and saying he was sorry. He was manipulating me, he wasn't genuinely sorry. He just wanted me to stick around for his ego and so he could have someone to emotionally kick when he wanted to. He didn't love me. I hope you choose to end this connection permanently so you no longer expose yourself to this person who is bad for you.

I agree, ultimatums not only seldom work but they disregard the other person's feelings and rights. You can't say "have sex with me or else!" Or, you could but don't expect it to be well received.

I'm glad you're doing better and things are going well for you.

I have a friend who was in a relationship with a man who actually proposed marriage. They lived together and had started planning their wedding. Well, he decided he didn't want to marry her after all and broke up with her. She was distraught and was barely functioning. She's still waiting for him to return to her and he broke up with her in 1994!! She had a mental breakdown and had to be institutionalized. She is unable to work and, sadly, never got into another relationship and never married or had children. All because she insisted on waiting for him because, she said, he had promised to marry her and she expected him to keep his promise. This is a cautionary tale. Please don't let your disappointment over the relationship not working out ruin the rest of your life like my friend did.