loneguy

By what you have described, I think he is a shy person who is not well versed with handling social situations with a romantic element. The little hints like trivia he could remember suggest he's interested. The way he acts in large groups suggests that he does not want to share how he feels about you publicly atleast for now to aviod any awkwardness at all. He likes you but he's not really sure how people would react to you two being together. thereforeeee he might try to conceal his feelings or even deny them in social situations. I think the best approach you can take is to be extra friendly with him, try to make him more comfortable with you, boost his confidence, make him feel good when he's with you and let him realize how deprived he would be of it when he's not with you. Make him open up. Go out of your way to do that, even if it shows to a great extent that you are interested. If he does not show that he's interested, stop showing interest in him and when he'll realize he's missing you he'll come running back to you still try to talk to you subtley and give him that chance but make sure he understands that you want to know how he feels about you. Whoops I think that was a little too much on my part, but just hope it helps.

its somthing like an interesting prospect, just passing around somw messages for fun is not exactly a direct indication of her interest but you've been given the green light to explore the matter and find out if theres really some chemistry

hey, im in the opposite problem, very few girls look at me now compared to the number in the past As for somthing more pertinent to the topic, i agree with earlier posts that u shoudl return the eyecontact, smile or whatever.... just give a positive response, and if u like or find the appropriate circumstances, go talk to them.

I've been really concerned about developing my personality, getting along with others, socializing and stuff for about 2 years now. I've been watching myself, reading books on the subject, getting feedback from friends. I realized and was also told by friends that my communication skills more specifically speaking skills need some development. I now realize that there's something medically wrong with my speech. I tend to stammer a lot, a can't pronounce properly, even if I think I should say a word like I think I should, it doesn't come out that way, it feels really unnatural. This doesn't happen every time but it happens often, and I get conscious about it. It really frustrates me when I can't express my feelings and when people don't understand what I am trying to say and ask me to repeat or rephrase my statement. I think its got something to do with my mind or my confidence or self esteem. Could anybody give me some feedback on this. Any ideas (e.g. meditation) or related info would be appreaciated.

I agree with what other people have said earlier. From what you have mentioned, it seems that this guy's been interested in you for quite some time. Setbacks like this would usually result in such a response in such a relationship. What has happened seems to be somthing short-term. If he really likes you (which I am pretty sure is the case), he'll get normal with you if you try to talk to him, give him some indications about your feelings for him. This is how it goes for the girl I like. Its this indirect communication that really talks. When she does something that I don't like and I get really mad and stop demonstrating I like her, she only needs to change her attitude to make me like her again, because she know that deep in my heart I do like her and all that was really a short term thing. This was just to give you a guy's perspective on the matter, somthing to make you feel how he might be feeling and how you might react now. Hope it helps... I tried really hard to write what I mean but I just feel like I didn't express it correctly. ------ PS can you give me some feedback on if you easily understood the point I am trying to make here cuz I think I am losing my communication skills. Thanks loneguy

hey, it good to hear its going well now. I went over all posts on this topic and thought I could give you some suggestions. I used to be in a similar situation as you are these days. First of all, I noticed you kept a very pessemistic outlook from the beginning (thats how i was before). I think its really really important for you to change that. Try to look at the brighter side and ignore negative aspects of situations. This will give you a confidence boost. This is a change you have to bring from within yourself and believe me it's very easy. Once you get that mindset, get some practice at your confidence. Get involved with people, with male friends first, then gradually start getting along with girls. Try this where ever you get the opportunity. Remember, the journet of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Another idea might be, focusing on your strengths and building upon them and using those strenghts to get started. I am really good at computers and at school I finally got established as one of the best in this field. You know what I didn't used to talk a lot with any girls in my computer class but after sometime, they began approaching me themselves, I talked to them like normal friends and they still are. Finally everthing requires patience and after the wait you'll certainly think it was worth it. Another thing... when you are interested in a girl, you'll always be very nervous to talk to her... this isn't just the case for you.. its for everybody.. even the boy for whom girls fall easily would get the shivers when he'll try talking to a crush. I really fell for this girl in my first year at high school and I could never get the nerves to talk to her. It was only the next year when I fell for another girl and stopped thinking about the previous crush that I started talking to her. Now I talk to her as I normally do with others, it didn't feel like anything difficult so i guess its all how you percieve things. Hope you get somthing useful from this and good luck... I am pretty sure you'll get the right girl, dont worry about it much.

yea i wanna know the same thing, some female would have to explain the giggling.

I agree that being assertive is important to get thorugh the challenges of life, but i have to say that so called 'nice guys' are treated unfairly to a certain extent. I guess that the fruits of not being immoral will sprout later, if we have been patient for such a long time, why not a little more. Lets hope logic won't defy us. We'll get something out of whatever we've been through. The only problem with nice guys is that they won't neccessarily 'stand up' for the right thing, for the truth they believe in, they won't act assertive. If we get that assertiveness to defend the truth, I am sure nice guys will be the best guys.

At the beginning of the school year i noticed this girl in one of my classes, but that was it, nothing more. About 5 months from then, i noticed some unusual things. She's the kind who's something between an extrovert and an introvert. Sometimes she seems to be filled with confidence, sometimes she's really quite. Sometimes I found her sitting all by herself, involved in her own stuff while the rest of her gang were enjoying themselves. Once in the class she was in an excited mood and she waved in my direction as if saying hi, but i just smiled. We never talked much in class, almost never. I sometimes noticed that she was looking at me, outside class. Some 2 months back i really started liking her, but it was the last month of school, classes were almost over, i didn't know what to do, i wasn't seeing her around much. At a school ceremony i tried to talk to her but didn't get any good opportunity. Just before exams I was really desperate to talk to her and I somehow got her email address and added her to my MSN contacts cuz most people come on MSN to chat. I dont know if she added me or not. There were only three days on which she would be with me at the exams. On the first day, i noticed her looking at me, but she was all surrounded by her friends. On the second day, we were looking at each other a lot from distances. Coincidentally she droped some documents that day and i found them on the floor and gave it her, she just asked where i found it. On the last day, i was really sure that i'll talk to her. I found her while walking and said a slight hi. She seemed to be a little nervous. Nothing much happened after that. That was a day ago. Now i have her email address and i am thinking what i should do. Can anybody help me with that? Does it mean its all over or what? I know its a long post, but i just meant to make things clear.