Tinydance

Well to me it sounds like maybe you're just too different and your priorities in life are different. You're seven years older than her and you're a father. Whereas she doesn't have kids and sounds like she's a bit of a party girl and she loves going out and drinking. In my personal opinion someone is still allowed to have friends and go out even if they're in a relationship. But there needs to be a balance and respect and time for their partner. I'm not sure what you meant that you decided not to go pick someone up from the airport and how you were left in the car for five hours. I thought you said that she went with her gay best friend to pick someone up but you stayed home? I think unfortunately you can't really police someone and expect them to do certain things if they're just not wanting to do it on their own. In terms of picking someone up from the airport, I think if it was my car and I was asked to drive two hours each way, then I'd say no. But if my partner had their own car or I wasn't using my car and they went on their own, then I might be fine with it. I'm someone who really values my friendships. If it was my partner's good friend or family member that needed to be picked up, then I would understand. However in this case if she made the decision not to go pick the person up and you had plans together, then what she did was wrong. To me the issue would be not that she wanted to pick someone up but that she just randomly changed our plans at the last second and didn't care. In terms of her going out with friends, to me it would depend on how often she wanted to do it. Obviously in a relationship it's important to have time together. So I'd want my partner to dedicate just as much time (if not more) to me as to their friends. She did actually invite you to go out for drinks with her friends but I guess you didn't feel like going. I think if she goes out then she should respond to your messages and keep you updated. But in this case it sounds like she did want to include you. To be honest I don't think it's really your job to police her if she's going out and she has work the next day and things like that. You're supposed to be her partner, not her Dad. It obviously doesn't bother her if she has to work etc. It just sounds to me like you're just not on the same page regarding how you want the relationship to be and going out etc.

I agree with basically everything you said. But I don't necessarily think he's lying about anything or he's not attracted to her or wouldn't want to be seen with her. Majority of models are slim and very attractive. So I think most hot women on Instagram for example would look like that. I don't think it necessarily means he exclusively only likes skinny women and has zero attraction to women of any other body type. Also in my opinion he's doing nothing wrong that he follows these models. I mean, he is actually single so he can do whatever he likes. OP doesn't like that he follows them which sounds like actual jealousy and insecurity. I think if it worries her he's not attracted to her then that's probably more about her own self-esteem. Also this might sound harsh but if this is supposed to be just sex then I don't think it makes him a jerk if he's not THAT into her. With FWB it's supposed to be for sex and physical pleasure. If she would prefer someone who is extremely into her then that would be more like a relationship and having a boyfriend. The reason why people usually do FWB with someone is because they like sex with them but they're not actually into them romantically. I also don't think it makes sense for her to say that she doesn't want a relationship and just wants sex. But then accuses men that they all lie, cheat and only want sex. But she said she just wants sex?! So she's saying the same thing.

You actually sound jealous. Yes you can do what you like with other guys. But if you had an agreement that you would only sleep with each other then you just need to let him know that you want to change it. If he's happy to change it then everything is fine. If he's not happy then you can end the FWB and get a different FWB or date other guys or do whatever you like. To me looking at models who are just random Instagram models isn't the same as actually dating or sleeping with other people. It's not breaking your agreement because he's not sleeping with anyone else and he doesn't even know them. I don't really understand your preoccupation with him looking at these models. You actually sound jealous and insecure yourself. You made pure assumptions that he's not attracted to you. He might actually find different types of people attractive. Maybe his "ideal" is skinny women but that doesn't mean that he's not attracted to any other body type at all. Also you are saying FWB is just sex so why are you so fixated if he's attracted to you or not? He's attracted to you enough to have sex with you. So if you just want sex - you are getting that. To me it doesn't actually sound like you want just sex. You also want to know everything about what he's doing, who he's following on social media, why he likes skinny women, etc. That's not just sex because you're over analysing everything about this guy. If you just wanted sex then you'd have sex and not worry about everything else you're worrying about.

Well you actually could bring that up to him? You are allowed to ask to change the rules of your FWB arrangement. You could say that you want to start using dating apps and potentially you'll meet men there. If he doesn't like it then you can also end the FWB. In all honesty if you just want FWB, you can get that very easily as a woman. You can find other guys and you can set what expectations you have right from the start.

Yes he is being honest with you because your arrangement was that you don't have sex with other people. Looking at photos of women is not having sex with them so he's not lying to you about anything. There is actually a big difference between having physical sex and just looking at women. He's allowed to lust after whoever he wants and he's also allowed to talk to other women or even go on dates with other women. You say you don't want a relationship and just want FWB but I don't think you really understand what FWB is? FWB means no commitment or obligation between two people. They can have an agreement like for example what you have not to have sex with others or to tell if you have sex with others. He isn't necessarily having sex with anyone else just because he follows models on social media. So if he's not having sex with others then he's honouring your agreement. Beyond that he actually doesn't owe you anything at all. He could follow 20, 000 models on social media if he wanted to because he's a free single man. Also he can look at or follow any women he wants and he is not obliged to only look at women who look like you. He can do literally whatever he wants as long as he's not sleeping with other people.

I know everyone looks at people's social media these days so I don't think it's that unusual that you're doing it. I agree with some other posters though that it's not really any of your business who he follows on social media etc. Also you seem to have come to the conclusion that just because he follows models on social media, that he's sleeping with other people. Yes he likes looking at attractive women just like most men do. I don't think it necessarily means he's having sex with anyone else. I mean, these are models and not actual women he knows, right? I don't think that looking at social media is likely to tell you if he's sleeping with anyone. People don't usually write about that on social media. The only way you can know is if you actually ask him directly. If you had an agreement that you're not sleeping with other people, then technically the only thing you have to tell each other if you want to sleep/have slept with someone else. Usually FWB have no obligation to tell each other if they're talking to or going on dates with others. It's not really their business who the other person follows on social media or who they interact with. So if you're going to get technical, talking to people on dating apps or going on dates isn't having sex with others so you don't have to mention it. If you want to be honest though then you could tell him. But I don't think you HAVE to.

Well I was more coming from the fact that the OP said she has been feeling insecure about her body and her breasts and things like that. Some women don't feel insecure but they just don't really like porn or don't approve of porn. In this case the OP does feel insecure about her body to begin with and I was just saying it's important to work on your own confidence and self-esteem. I agree with you that it depends what individual people decide upon in their relationship. In this case I don't actually know whether OP had an issue with her husband watching porn in general or more Only Fans. I know with Only Fans it's taking it a step further if you pay for it or actually interact with the person. I don't know why but for some reason I don't think it would bother me if my partner looked at Only Fans. I seem to have some kind of separation in my mind in regards to those types of models and actual women that my partner could meet in real life. For example I've heard that some people on Only Fans are basically celebrities and have like a million or more followers. So if my partner watched someone there who lives in another country and they've got that many fans, then I wouldn't think anything was actually going on between him and the Only Fans celebrity. So to me that would seem very similar to just looking at porn. Obviously I know that not everyone is even OK with porn to begin with so I realise everyone is different.

Sorry but I don't really understand why this has become such a big deal? Maybe I say this as someone who isn't into cars but personally I don't care what car I'm driving. I have a car and it works perfectly fine. So I'm totally fine with just driving my own car and I don't need any other car. It would be different if you had no car of your own and your husband wouldn't let you use the car. But you do have a car and even your husband has a second car too. I actually agree with you that spouses should share things but it doesn't have to be 100% of the time. It also depends on the situation. It sounds like your husband is very close to his Mum. If she cares a lot about her car and he will get it if she dies, that makes sense that he wants to take really good care of it. And technically it makes sense that she's giving this car to him, not you, since he is her son. I know as your husband he's meant to share with you and he did say you can drive this car sometimes. So he hasn't actually said no to you completely. Most of all I just don't really understand why you care this much about it when you already have your own car. I'm not into cars but I'm just trying to imagine if it was something I really like. For example I love jewellery. I'm actually bisexual so let's say if I was married to another woman. And my Mum died and left me her necklace. Not an expensive or vintage necklace but just normal necklace. Although I'd be happy to share all my other jewellery with my wife, this necklace would be special to me and I would probably only want to wear it myself.

I just want to add in regards to feeling insecure. I understand Only Fans is a bit different to watching porn. I haven't actually been on Only Fans so I don't have experience with it. I've just seen very large amounts of posts by different women saying they feel really insecure that their partner watches porn. That it makes them feel unattractive and like something is wrong with them or they're not good enough that he has to look at porn. In my opinion that insecurity is actually internal insecurity. Unless your partner criticises how you look or tells you to change, I don't think watching porn is about your partner not being enough. I sometimes watch porn as well and to be honest it means nothing to me. I'm not saying this in a disrespectful way but I don't think of those people as "real" people. First of all I sometimes don't even find them attractive because they look fake. For me it's definitely not that I'm not happy with my partner but I personally think of it as just watching something if you're horny. To be honest it never really crossed my mind that it could be making my partner feel insecure until I started reading a lot of people posting about it. I guess what I'm trying to say is yes it is important to feel secure within yourself. For example I know there will always be really attractive women out there. I know I don't look like a model but majority of "real life" people don't. The reason why those people are in porn or modelling is because they were lucky to look hot. Also there are actually people in porn or on Only Fans who only look average or are plus size, etc. And many women in porn had breast implants. So I don't feel bad my breasts are smaller because they actually paid for those breasts. I could go and get implants too and have big breasts but I'm just not interested in doing that.

I wasn't sure what you were really asking except will the BIL's relationship with the young woman last. In terms of that, I don't think anyone can actually answer that. Some unusual relationships sometimes last and some "perfect" relationships end. If BIL is not the baby's father then maybe they'll break up and she will go to the actual father. Or maybe BIL will break up with her because he doesn't want to take care of someone else's child. If he is the father, maybe they'll stay together to be a family. Or maybe they'll still break up and just co-parent. There are a lot of different variations. I agree their age gap is a bit weird. I did actually know one girl in her late teens/early 20's who had kids with a guy 28 years older than her. He actually wasn't rich or anything like that but she just liked him for some reason. I met him and he actually seemed like a nice guy. It's probably very rare to have such a large age gap but it does happen. Also even though this girl is young, she's not under age. So while it seems strange, it's not illegal and your BIL isn't in any kind of legal trouble because of it. I also agree with the others that you seem way too invested in your brother-in-law's life and what he's doing. He doesn't sound like a good guy at all. But at the end of the day, his behaviours don't really affect you directly. You didn't say in your post that he has asked to stay at your house, asked you for money, or even asked you to befriend this young girl. He seems to have been making some bad life choices but they are HIS bad choices. I understand you're concerned for your elderly in laws and that's nice of you. If anyone should be standing up for them though, it should be your husband. I understand you're related to them through marriage as well. But it's your husband's family so in my opinion it should be him dealing with it. You also mentioned his other siblings are trying to deal with BIL too.. So I think based on the fact that it's not really your family, it might be best for you to stay out of it. Personally my feelings about dealing with extended family that I don't like is just to be polite, but keep my distance from them. At family gatherings and events I act friendly and nice but I leave it at that. You are also not required to be friends with this 22-year-old girl, but you don't have to ignore her or be rude either. You can just be polite when you see her. In my opinion this girl hasn't done anything specifically wrong towards your family. She sounds quite trashy and obviously she cheated on BIL. But that's BIL's choice to date her and he doesn't actually seem to care that she cheated. Obviously because he was cheating on his wife too. I can also kind of understand why BIL would be happy about the baby. I mean, his son actually died. And while he might be a jerk but still surely he cared for his son at least on some level. The other thing too is that if BIL is the father of the baby, that will be your husband's nephew. The child has done nothing wrong. So if you cut off BIL and the girl then your husband wouldn't know his niece or nephew. At the end of the day it's your husband's decision how he wants to deal with BIL and the situation. If he still wants to keep in touch with BIL then you'll just have to accept it.

Well I think there are a few things going on here and I don't think Only Fans is the only issue. I think the main issue is that you do feel insecure and maybe your husband has been contributing to that. When you went for an appointment for the breast surgery, did your husband want you to get it? Or was it more your idea? I agree that Only Fans is probably a bigger deal than just watching porn for example. I've seen so many posts everywhere but women who say their partner watched porn and it made them feel insecure and unattractive. (I'm female by the way). My personal opinion is that if my partner watched porn or looked at some kind of models, it wouldn't necessarily make me feel insecure just in an of itself. In your case I think this is coupled with the fact that maybe you already felt insecure and that your husband isn't acting interested in you intimately. This time me personally would be more the issue. I don't actually care if my partner watched porn or something like that. Again, I'm speaking only for myself. I see looking at those sorts of things as more just like a fantasy. It doesn't make me feel insecure because although I know maybe those women are really attractive but he's also not with them. But I agree that it might make me feel bad if my partner didn't compliment me, we didn't have much intimacy, etc. And I understand why you find it upsetting that he never bought you lingerie or sexy things, but he's spending money on Only Fans. I agree that in a relationship the intimacy first of all needs to be between the two people. I don't think that you should feel insecure about yourself or like there's anything wrong with you. Your partner should have probably spoken to you first and asked how you felt that he was looking or subscribing to Only Fans. Not everyone is OK with things like that so he should have talked to you. But I don't think it means that you look bad and you shouldn't get a boob job (unless YOU want to). I'm not sure what your partner was thinking but he should have been more considerate of your feelings. I think sometimes guys think it's not a big deal to look at pornographic things just because they're horny. But obviously this has affected you deeply and you need to talk to your partner about all this. I think you need to tell him that things really need to change and he needs to put A LOT more effort into the intimacy in your marriage. Marriage takes work so he should be focusing on improving your sex life. That should be more his priority than looking at Only Fans etc.

Well to me it sounds like your ex is also single and alone and that's probably why he reached out to you. In my opinion he treated you really badly and he probably did have feelings for his housemate. Otherwise I don't see why he never introduced you to her and why the three of you couldn't have hung out all together. And the fact that he ended it probably shows that he actually "chose" her over you. I also find it weird that he's taken a year to apologise. I'm not really sure what you should do. I'm friends with a couple of my ex's but to be honest we're more like distant acquaintances. I just have them on Facebook but I speak to them pretty rarely and I don't really see them. I think it's probably too hard to be actual friends with an ex. If you want to try being friends, you can do that. But to me it seems more like you're just feeling nostalgic and lonely. If you tried to be friends with the agenda to get back together, then that's not really being friends either.

I actually don't think there's a right or wrong answer here. It's what YOU think is the right thing to do. I guess if you met this guy a few weeks ago, you could have been dating him for six months by January. I know long distance is really hard but I guess if you love the person, it can be done. For example, one of my best friends was dating her now husband for four months but he already had a solo trip to Asia booked for five months after that. He had already paid for all the flights and accommodation and other things. My best friend couldn't join him because she couldn't get leave from work or something like that. So they agreed he'd still go and she would join him only for ten days in India. Anyway, they did the five months long distance. They've been together for 15 years now, married with two kids. Personally if it was me, I'd give this guy a chance. First of all, you don't actually know if it would work out. So it could be that after a few months you'd break up anyway. Or he could be the love of your life. But I think if you don't try then you might never actually know. You or him might meet someone else or the connection might just be lost. I mean, if you're talking in reconnecting in eight months after January, that's basically a whole year. I don't think it would be very likely that after a year you would start dating. Then again, maybe you will, who knows. I think though that you have a much higher chance of being with him long-term if you date him now. You have control over dating him now, but you don't know what will happen in the future.

I'm not defending her just because she's a woman but I think a lot of this situation is actually a "you" problem. I don't mean this in a rude way but I just mean that you're in this much turmoil because of yourself and how you feel. In my opinion, this woman isn't exactly doing something extremely horrible but the reason why you feel it's horrible is because you didn't have the motivation/ability to either get a straight answer or stop the communication. Your hands are not tied. This woman is not in control of you or what you're doing - you are. If you wanted to try to achieve a certain outcome, then you could try to do that. For example, if you don't like her making any kinds of sexual comments then you could ask her not to do that. If you wanted to know what she wants from you or how she feels, you could ask her. Whatever it is you're doing or not doing, that's YOU doing that. If she knew that you have real feelings for her and she continued to act like this then yeah that would be selfish on her part. She might not actually think you like her for real. She might just think you're flirting harmlessly just like she is. I mean, you've been talking to her for a long time and it's not like you've ever actually said anything. Also if you're technically supposed to be friends then she doesn't have to reach out to you constantly. Like, if you make a sexual comment and she doesn't reach out, you could reach out to her yourself. She's not your girlfriend or FWB so she doesn't actually owe you certain behaviours.

It's true, you don't know who you're meeting just in the sense that they are a stranger. I don't understand why you think it's not safe to meet friends online or even do online dating though. Online dating for example is extremely common now so it's not really like in the 90's when it was a new thing and only "weirdos" did it. I'm 38 and I did online dating on and off since I was 18. Most people I met on online dating were not weirdos. I don't really remember anyone being actually creepy in the sense that they would assault or murder me. Some people were socially awkward or seemed to be neurodivergent but they didn't do anything dangerous or try to lure me anywhere or anything. I think in terms of making female friends online, it would be even safer in my opinion. With a platonic friend you wouldn't probably go to their house until you knew them really well. So you would catch up in public places. The only "problem" I've had with meeting other women from those apps is that we didn't really click. But that's not because they were strange or anything was wrong with them. It was just more a lack of connection or not many things in common. I mean, unfortunately making friends can be similar to dating. You need to "kiss a few frogs before you find the princess" lol Just need to keep putting yourself out there and keep trying. I actually met a woman on this platonic friendship app called Patook. I found the interaction kind of awkward and we didn't click that much. But I didn't mind staying in touch a bit. We caught up a couple of times and she invited me to her 40th Birthday. We went to a games arcade and an all you can eat Japanese restaurant with her partner and all her friends. It was actually fun and the people were nice. I think it's OK to have acquaintances like that as well because you can still go out and do things and you can meet their friends.

To be honest I thought this too but I didn't want to say anything. You do sound like you're younger from the way you write.

How do you know they wanted to kill you?! Are you sure you weren't just overly judging some people?

I'm sorry but I think that your standards are in fact probably too high. You want a good man and there's nothing wrong with that part. But the fact you want a Christian man does actually narrow it down a lot more. You also said that a lot of Christian men you meet are too misogynistic or patriarchal, etc. So that narrows it down even more. Normally when people are looking for a partner, they think about what the most important things are to them and they don't dwell on lesser things. Of course if someone asked anyone, if you could have a perfect partner, who would they be? Very likely people would say good-looking, rich, well educated, nice person, shares my interests and hobbies, shares my values, cooks for me. And if they have something more specific they might say: "I want them to be vegan/Muslim/Christian/Jewish, etc." The problem is that lists like these are too specific and too long. So it makes it nearly impossible to actually find anyone who is going to tick these check points. I agree with you that it's hard to find a partner. But I'm just getting a sense from you specifically that your expectations are too high. I also agree with lostandhurt that just because you got a Master's degree or travelled doesn't mean that you're better than other people. I'm not saying that you need to date men with low IQ but there are plenty of people who don't have a university degree who are still intelligent or street smart. I also agree with the comment that there are attractive and smart women who don't seem to find anyone. My guess is it's because they're too picky.

In what way were the vibes weird? I'm just genuinely curious. I did use Bumble BFF a bit some years ago and I did get matches. But I'm not good at chatting online so strangers so I guess I kind of fizzled off. I'm probably one of those weird people you were talking about loooll I personally prefer making friends in real life so I found Meetup groups a lot better. Guys go to most Meetup groups as well. What I liked about them is that you usually do activities. Even if you don't meet anyone per se, at least you went out and did fun things. I actually did meet my best friend at a Meetup. I know I was lucky because I only went there once or twice. That was 13 years ago and we've been the bestest of friends ever since. There are also sometimes Facebook women's groups or social groups. That group I mentioned I recently joined is a Facebook women's group run by some local women. This group is actually only for a certain area (Western suburbs of my city) but they still have 650 members in the group. They organise activities nearly every day and it's fun things like markets, coffee, cinema, lake walk, day trips.

I'm not trying to be harsh coz I know people online can be odd, but surely it's not everyone? If you live in a city/town that has night clubs then I'm guessing it's not a small place? Surely not everyone at Meetups or on Bumble BFF is odd? I know those groups can be hit and miss but it's about persistence and giving people a chance. Maybe you won't find a best friend there but I'm sure you could find activity buddies or acquaintances. You could even invite some other women to go clubbing for a girls' night out or to the other activities you mentioned. In all honesty any woman who is actually nice and not putting you down or being shallow would already be an improvement from your "friend". Your friend honestly sounds really bad and very superficial and shallow. I don't think she's your real friend because it seems she tries to backstab you and put you down. Even if other women were only acquaintances but they could be nice people who don't make you feel bad about yourself. My suggestion would be to start "slow fading" your friend. You could still go out with her once a few weeks but try to start hanging out with other women as well. Then slowly keep cutting back on the other friend until you basically cut her off. I mean in all fairness you are also only hanging out with her because you have nobody else. So try to find other people and cut her off sooner rather than later.

Well I don't judge you that you want to go clubbing or even if you were hooking up with guys casually or whatever. But I do think that your behaviours aren't really matching what you want in life. Like, you are not acting in accordance with your values and goals. You said you want to settle down but I'm pretty sure you would not find that going clubbing and hanging out with your friend. I don't think guys at night clubs are looking to settle down or even looking to date. I think most guys who go to clubs just want a hook up. And no offence but even if they do want a girlfriend, they would be looking for that outside of the night club. I know you said you only go to night clubs about once a month and that's fine. I mean, even if you wanted to go there every weekend, that's your choice. There are issues with this though that you are not happy with the company you go clubbing with and it's not helping you find a boyfriend. My suggestion would be to start getting involved in social and activity groups where you can meet other friends. For example, you could go to Meetup.com groups and usually there are both men and women there. You could also join hobby classes. On Facebook there are often social or hobby groups too. For example, a few months ago I moved house and I joined a local women's group. They have all sorts of fun activities all the time. I've been to two coffee outings and went to the cinema with them. Most of the women there seem nice and decent. I understand you want single female friends bit why does it have to be This friend? Do you actually live in India or are you just of Indian background?

Well to me it seems she is enjoying your attention and she finds it very flattering. She is either: A) Wanting you to ask her out; B) Wanting you to have sex with her; or C) Neither of those and she's just enjoying the flirtations. My guess is she hasn't asked you out because maybe she's concerned about the age difference and/or her feelings for you aren't that strong. I think if she felt strongly, she would find it difficult not to want something to happen in real life. If I kept talking to a guy all the time and the comments turned sexual, I think I'd really want to know where it was going. I'm actually bisexual and I'm 38. A few years ago I met a young woman through a friend who was about twenty. I was probably about 35. I just made an offhand comment to my friend: "Oh she's cute." but I wasn't interested in actually dating her because of the age gap. But my friend told her what I said. She messaged me on Facebook and she was like: "I hear you said I'm cute". She started flirting and I flirted back..She did send me some kind of sexy lingerie or bikini photo. Then after some time the conversation just died. She didn't message me anymore and I also didn't message her. But I wasn't upset because I didn't have feelings for her and didn't want to date her. I guess what I'm saying is, some flirting can be fun and harmless. But only if you don't actually want anything else from it. In your case you do want a lot more from it. That's why you're finding it hurtful. If you're not going to just take the plunge and ask her what's going on, then I recommend you stop talking to her. To be honest I don't really understand why you're feeling upset. I think you're acting passive and not actually taking charge of the situation. For example, if I actually did like that girl I was talking to, very likely I'd have said something. I would ask her if she'd be interested in going for dinner or a drink or whatever. I've done that before both towards men and women. Personally if I like someone I'd want to know.

From your post it's very obvious that she's not a good friend and she's very immature and self - absorbed. The thing is though that if you're only friends with her just to go clubbing or to have a single girl friend.... Then you're kind of using her or settling for her. You don't actually like her and you think badly of her. This may sound harsh but I agree with some of the others that you both sound immature. It's mostly her that sounds really immature but you actually go along with what she's doing. Like, if she's talking about particular things or acting in a certain way, you also participate in those conversations. I agree with the frenemies comment. She sounds catty and competitive. I think the reason why she asks guys what they think of your Instagram and then puts you down is because she's trying to compete with you. In all honesty, I don't see how you're going to find a "good man" hanging out with her. First of all, I think she would be backstabbing you to guys and interfere with you trying to find a guy. Or she would try to micro manage you. Like, tell you how to act, etc. Secondly, she sounds very immature and catty and I'm sure guys can see that. There is that saying: "You're the company you keep." If you want to find a good man, you should hang out with good quality people.

I don't think your wife is going to change. Just the fact that she's only 35 and she said: "I've done all I've wanted to do so now I don't have to work." First of all, she's probably not even halfway through her life. Secondly, she hasn't actually done anything!! She didn't finish her university degree or have a career. She also hasn't worked for a few years. I actually also dated someone who didn't want to do anything in life but I ended it after about 1.5 years. Your wife sounds very lazy overall. I mean, cooking one meal three times a week is really not a big effort considering she does nothing with herself. She also sounds selfish because she keeps going on holidays to visit her family and won't visit your family. But YOU'RE earning the money. Also I think what she's saying is rubbish because there are actually casual jobs where you can easily get time off. Often if you're employed casually in retail or hospitality, you can easily get time off if you give some prior notice. There are also some work from home jobs where she could still work if she went to visit her family.

Actually, just because he rejects women at work romantically doesn't mean he's avoiding being in a relationship. He doesn't have to be interested in every woman who asks him out. He could be not attracted to those women, he could be seeing someone else, he could be gay, doesn't want to date colleagues, etc. I understand he's good-looking but people in the office aren't actually entitled to gossip about him or know about his private life. If you're not trying to pry into other male colleagues' lives, then why do you feel you can do this towards him just because he's good-looking? He doesn't owe it to anybody to be in a relationship or tell people at work about his dating, etc. This is a workplace and he's allowed to keep his private life separate. Also do you actually truly like this guy as a person? Or you're just trying to compete with the other women because he's hot? You said he keeps to himself a lot. So do you actually even know him much?