lifesabitch30

For a while, but it's all been put down to my own insecurities and the fact he just doesn't really give compliments and stuff. But I have said he has no problem paying attention to all of them but not to me. And then to pay for that kind of stuff. It's a real punch in the gut for me and a massive chunk out if my self esteem.

Our kids are teenagers. I looked into the surgery about 10years ago, because I was self conscious about it, not for his benefit. I'm just confused how somebody who supposedly cares about you can do something to make you feel so insecure.

I was feeling insecure and looked to see who he follows online and found so many of the *** and ass pages promoting their onlyfans account. Totally didn't expect that, went looking expecting to find nothing and to know the insecurities were all in my head so was shocked by it and dug deeper and ended up finding out about the onlyfans subscription. I'm totally devasted, the most insecure I've ever been and don't know how to move on from this. Since having our kids I am very self conscious about my body, especially my boobs. He is so aware of this, has even been to an appointment to look into having an augmentation, which I just can't afford. Why would he look at stuff like that knowing how I feel and how him doing that would make me feel. He shows me know attention, no compliments, sex life is low, which would be much better if he actually acted like I exist. Has never bought me lingerie (even tho I have bought stuff for me to wear for him). He is fully aware of my feelings and I have said numerous times he shows me no affection/compliments or anything in an attempt to get things to change. Now I just feel unattractive and unloved and like he has zero care for my feelings. Who's in the wrong here. Am I over reacting? Where does it go from here. What fixes this. Totally need advice.