Carmen_Aved

OK, thanks for your honest feedback.

Thanks everyone. I think I gave the wrong impression that the situation is more about workplace gossip and that I'm trying to stir up drama. It is to some extent. But that was just to give context. This isn't an attempt to pry into his personal life. I do, however, intend to get to know him better. I'm genuinely interested in him. Thanks to his close friend I know with relative certainty that he's neither gay nor in a relationship. So these possibilities are pretty much out of the picture. It's not that he's trying to avoid workplace romance. It's that he's trying to avoid romance, period. And he's not shy about discussing other aspects of his private life. He's pretty much a nerd, massively into computer games and comic books. He sometimes talks about his family, his hobbies, even his physical health and the surgeries he's had (not to me though, we don't share the same office space). When I said "The rest of his life is a mystery to everyone" I meant his love life. His friend tells me whenever they ask him about it he shrugs it off by saying "I dunno, it just hasn't happened yet". I understand your concerns about his privacy and your criticisms. But what if despite the appearances, he's romantically awkward? Maybe he's not good at picking up indirect advances. What I'm trying to say is that maybe he's not avoiding for the reasons you guys mentioned. Maybe he's just shy. If that's the case, how can I approach him? If you guys seriously think I should drop it, then I will. I don't think at this point I'm clear-minded enough to make the right decision anyway.

Hello, I've been working at a company for the past year and there is this very interesting guy who's been the #1 topic of gossip since before I joined the company. He's a relatively good looking man in his early thirties. Well-educated, well-read, and smart. Always well-dressed. Muscular physique. Deep voice. From a good family as far as we can tell. Very warm, honest, and caring towards others. He's actually managed to resolve a number of feuds among colleagues. Almost everyone deeply trusts and respects him. Good work ethics. Socially adept. Definitely not awkward around women. He's kind of aloof and introverted though and tries to avoid unnecessary gatherings. May seem a bit arrogant to those who just met him since he's brooding all the time. Outside work, he occasionally hangs out with a very few of his close friends, only one of whom is a colleague and the real source of information we have about him! The rest of his life is a mystery to everyone! As far as we can tell, he's not and has never been in a relationship (at least for the past 5 years). I've been told a number of women at work have made advances to him; but he generally plays dumb and acts as if he doesn't notice it. And no one has been bold enough to directly just ask him out. His close friend is positive that he's single. Despite his kind attitude, he has an unusual intimidating presence and no one dares to ask him personal questions. The entire situation just doesn't make any sense. I intend to approach him and get to know a little bit better, ask him out on a date perhaps; but I'm not sure how to go about doing so and I've been advised against it multiple times. There has to be a psychological factor involved here. Or perhaps he's got a type of personality that requires the right kind of motivation? Why would a man of his stature act in such a bizarre manner? We meet on a daily basis. Occasionally talk about work. He's kind and caring towards everyone so it's hard to tell whether he's actually interested or just being his normal self. Any advice on how I can approach him?