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Thread: Due to get Married next summer.

  1. #1

    Due to get Married next summer.

    Hi there,
    I need some advice. I am due to get married next summer and a few weeks back, my partner admitted to having dreams / thinking about an ex lover.
    Weíve been together 5 years now. When we first met, he was talking to another woman for a while but basically in the end up he chose me over her. He said he never didnít like her, it was a case of him feeling like he liked me more so chose me.
    However these past few weeks heís been dreaming of this past lover and thinking of her some times during the day.
    He says he feels like he doesnít get enjoyment out of the relationship anymore as well as thinking of this ex lover.
    One day he says we should break up then the next he says he still loves me and we should get married and this has continued for weeks.
    Is it time I walked away rather than stay and delay what May come in the future , or worst still we get married and this could still be a problem?
    Last edited by Jessdunne94; 11-22-2020 at 04:36 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member shellyf62's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Sydney Australia
    It looks like he is telling you these things so you will break up with him.
    He obviously doesnt want to be seen as the bad guy, so by telling you this you break up with him & he will be the victim.
    I'm sorry this is happening, but I wouldnt want to marry a man who tells me he gets no enjoyment from being with me.

  3. #3
    I totally agree with you there.
    He says heís not 100% on marrying or not marrying. One day he says letís just carry on with it and the next he says he canít because he keeps thinking of this ex lover and he thinks thatís wrong. He says he does love me and care about me but I canít help but think that isnít true?

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Cloud Nine
    Sorry to hear that. Does he want to get married? Why is he bring all this up now? Are you worried about infidelity after you marry?


  6. #5
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Do NOT marry this man.

    He wants you to end it so he can tell his family and friends you broke up with him. But who cares? It would be a big mistake to marry a man who says these things to you.

  7. #6
    He changes his mind every few days.
    For a few days he is in the mind to break up and we sleep in separate rooms to have some thinking time then he says letís continue and marry then the cycle continues till now. Itís been going on for about a month or so now.
    He can be the nicest person but is doing this at the same time.
    We can spend hours together helping each other with things, going to the beach for walks being romantic then later he will just come out and say Ďno no I canít do this, itís not rightí etc.

  8. #7
    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Marrying or staying with him is a massive mistake.

  9. #8
    You think there is no saving this?
    He says he will tell his parents the truth.
    He told his father a few weeks ago that he wasnít sure if he still wanted to be with me so he did tell his father it was his decision but his father told him that he doesnít want to get in the middle and choose sides.
    I should add that his father lives in our company so he had to tell him something was wrong when I didnít want to eat dinner at the table together one night as we usually do.

  10. #9
    I should add Iím not worried about infidelity as such. We have been together 5 years and he has never looked at a woman in that way or spoken about any other woman or to any woman in that way. I donít think he would have the capacity to do that.

  11. #10
    Can I ask why you think this?

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