Not sure how to go with this woman I like

Hello everyone here, this is my first time posting and first time doing any of this, I usually wouldn't resort to getting help of the internet but I really like this woman and none of my friends are even close to dating experts. I made an account trying to be Anonymous since I don't want her to find out I am doing this. So anyway, ill get to my situation and try to explain it as best as I can.

So me and this woman met online over a video game about 3-4 months ago. We have been friends ever since and got really close to each other lately. About two weeks ago we finally admitted that we liked each other however we live in different states so we did not really think about dating. We decided for her to fly up to see me for a week or two as I showed her around my city and have a fun time together (this has not happened yet). We also planned a mini road trip to go sight seeing around my state (Which i'd like to keep anonymous). I am 21 and this woman is 25. We frequently message and Snapchat each other. About a week ago we thought it would be crazy if we actually dated and it wouldn't even be so hard considering how cheap flights are to and from our cities and we decided it would be a very doable thing and that we should give it a go. We started flirting and sometimes dirty talking each other online preparing for this trip. However a lot of things came up in her personal live such as surgeries and other things she needs to attend and she is feeling very down and needs to sort some things out before she can come up and visit me which could be months from now. She said she needs a friend during this time and not a relationship and I am trying my best to support her but I am not very good at reading women and I have not been in a proper relationship before so I am worried if I am doing something wrong. I don't know what I can do during the couple of months I need to wait to continue to support her without messing anything up. I have been talking and playing games with her every day and every day I feel more attached to her and I feel as though I am someone who falls in love really easily, however I know it would be stupid to say this to her right now as she is going through a lot of Sh*t (excuse my language). She says she "doesn't mind the flirtyness but maybe to tone down on the dirty talking". She says she doesn't want to date while she is depressed and I said I will wait for her whenever she is ready and that i'm here to help her through this.

I definitely don't want to come off as desperate but I don't want to lose her. I want to wait for her but I'm not sure how to go about the waiting to keep the sexual tension between us and like I said earlier I am very horrible at reading what she is thinking. I don't know how much she is into me and I am just really confused a lot of the time and don't know what to do. I hope someone can give me some advice so that I can use it to keep the tension between us and keep her into me so that after her surgery and recovery and ordeals are over, that she will still be into me and still wants to try a relationship between us. I am trying my hardest not to f*ck this up because I care a lot about her (excuse my language again). I guess I am very scared about this and that I will lose her If I do something wrong.

I am trying my best to make her laugh and smile whenever I am talking to her. I guess I am worried that she will no longer want to date me when she recovers or that I will get "friendzoned". Once again I am horrible at reading a woman, I never know what they are thinking.

Thank you.

Hi Anonloner, This sounds like it could be one of three things. One: she is nervous about going to a city where she doesn’t know anyone to be with a person she doesn’t know except for online and even though you have spoken on the phone or through Snapchat, she may be panicking because who you are through those outlets may be completely different then who you are in person. Two: she isn’t really who she says she is.. I understand you take pictures and stuff so you must see her face, do you video each other? If so, obviously that isn’t the case. Three, this one is the harshest and I apologize in advance: she is just not that into you. She might of thought it was cute to flirt and be sexy but now maybe she’s lost interest or you seem too desperate or eager and it’s throwing up red flags. So she’s trying to politely back out without hurting your feelings. You guys live far away from each other, so she can lie all day about what she is doing and not to plant that seed or make you feel bad, but sometimes people suck and no matter how much you like them, it doesn’t make a difference. If you are inexperienced in relationships maybe you should try dating someone close by so you can meet a little easier. This whole thing sounds like she is trying to Tell you she doesn’t want to be more than friends or she is unsure herself of what she wants. The best thing you can do is back off of the situation and see if she continues to talk to you. Maybe don’t text her first or take more than a few minutes to reply. If it doesn’t bother her then that is your answer. I wish you the best of luck!

Honestly, this may go better for you if you just ask her to tell you exactly what she needs from you. It sounds like you started that discussion when she said she welcomed flirting but asked to back off on dirty talk.

It's difficult to give insight into her perspective, as we know nothing about her other than what you've told us, and you yourself have never even met her.

In my experience, most women I know will not ask for space when they're going through a lot of sh*t, as you put it. Women tend to want/need more support during those times. I believe when she told you she needed more of a friend than a relationship, she meant she needs emotional support, encouragement, understanding. Her thoughts are mostly centered around whatever she's dealing with right now and she'd like you to help her through it. She's just not in a place mentally to be sexting, fantasizing, etc. I would focus your interactions with her around how she's feeling, how her issues are progressing, what you can do to help, etc.

Also, definitely refrain from any discussion related to coming to visit, becoming exclusive, stuff like that. Don't burden her with any doubts/insecurities you're feeling, because you're just going to make her feel responsible.

You want a relationship and she wants a friend. This interaction won’t end well for you, after months and months of waiting you will realise she meant what she said about not wanting a relationship and you will be hurt.

I suggest you withdraw romantic contact and interact only as friends, don’t wait around for her to be ready, when she’s ready she may date someone else. If you can’t be a friend then best to move on. If you can be a friend and she does want to date you to when she feels better then that a bonus! Sorry to tell you but I think you have already been friend zoned.

She says she "doesn't mind the flirtyness but maybe to tone down on the dirty talking". She says she doesn't want to date while she is depressed

You need to listen to what she's saying. To be brutally honest, I think this is her way of letting you down easy. You are being friendzoned, imo.