Is he playing me?

I met a guy at my university last year. We had instant attraction and started liking each other. Though the school year had ended, he was coming to uni as he was involved in a protest/occupation against the school.

He would keep staring at me and he did it frequently He never removed eye contact and would keep on doing the staring . I reciprocated as I was attracted to him as well.

After a lot if sexual tension and staring etc, I finally spoke to him. He held me by his arm and asked me have we met before and I said no. The moment I said no, he dropped his arm and got serious, just told me his name, shook hands and left.

He never talked to me again.

I also found out he graduated and went back to his home country.

I was heartbroken. 4 months later I saw him at my uni and he saw me and turned his face away. It hurt but I let it go.

In Dec, I saw him again and saw that he kept looking at me and walked away after making eye contact. I was happy to see him.

In February, he began coming to the university and he largely ignored me. He used to ignore me in front of people he knew. He was a very popular student and everyone knew him.

He would see me and turn his face away but when I was alone near the printers, he came up to me and started staring at me. I got up and said hi and we talked. I asked him about his life and he told most of the stuff.

I asked him if he was free to meet up but he declined saying he had work.

The next week he ignored me doing it until I stopped approaching him. He would ignore me, wouldnt hold the door for me so I felt he didnt want to talk and even though he was giving me looks when he would be alone, I didnt go and talk to him. He ignored me more until suddenly, after 4 days, he started mellowing down and began greeting me.

He started saying hello and how are you and would leave the door open. He wouldn't stop but just said hello and walk on. This was strange as he NEVER initiated a word yet now he was.

Last week, I saw that he was sitting with his group of friends and he saw me coming towards the main building. He too went to the main building at the same time but he entered first as I was stopped by a friend.

The moment I entered, I hear a loud whistling at the reception area and on turning back I saw he was looking at me and whistling really loudly. I didnt go to him.

The next day, we met near the library and he gave me a warm smile and said how are you to which I only responded with I'm fine. He walked on and I saw he looked back at me and again when he was climbing the stairs. Later on, he gave me a really serious look and the next day, he just nodded with a pissed look on his face.

Somehow I managed to talk to him and when I asked him if I could talk to him, he rudely responded what do I want to talk about. I explained how I felt confused and he directly said he was saying hi but I was ignoring him.

I clarified i wasnt ignoring him and also mentioned last year but he pretended as if he doesnt remember anything and even said he is sorry if it offends me. He even said he doesnt know what to say to me as we are acquaintances.

However, he did remember how 4 months ago I had asked him out.

I had more to say but he was getting late for work so I told him I want to say something else and he responded saying he is around here a lot so he wants to hear what I want to say and then he left.

I saw him again the next day and he greeted me saying how I was doing and said he has to rush to meet this guy.

He didnt bother talking to me or asking me what I wanted to say and finally went away.

I dont understand. He seems to avoid confrontation about his behaviour so how do I know whats going on? He also seems particularly close to 1 of his female friends which makes me suspicious if he was just trying to cheat with me for sex last year which is why he never talked to me in public.

What is going on here?

He's just being nice. If the guy was into you it would be obvious.

I think the first time he thought you looked familiar to him - maybe you look like someone he knows. I think that all the other times --- he is just someone who talked to you before once --- he really doesn't know you and one time that you say "he saw you and looked away" - he might not have seen you at all - he could have been looking in your direction and then the other. I think he hit the nail on the head when he said you were acquaintances -- he is a guy who has seen you around and doesn't really know you and you really don't know him - you are just imagining that its more

What country is he from? His behavior is odd. I'm trying to figure out if it's cultural. In some countries staring at someone is a sign of aggression. In other countries it's considered disrespectful or inappropriate. In Middle Eastern countries, women staring at men is a no-no. Even talking to an unmarried woman is not considered correct. Just trying to figure out where he fits in.

I think you should just go about your day and stop staring at him. Forget he exists because it sounds like he's just trying to be polite when you initiate some sort of communication with him.

I have no patience for guys that do this sort of thing...

that “come here - go away” nonsense drives me crazy. Either ask me out, be my friend, or leave me the f&@$ alone.. the hot and cold thing is sooo gamey.

Best thing to do is to back off and go on about your business until he decides one way or the other what he wants from you and stops being a staring weirdo lol

If he was interested he would have asked you out by now, rather than risk losing you to someone else. With that said, I would also no longer buy into his nonsense, (staring games, etc).

He thought you were someone else he knew. He kept staring bc you kept staring. It is clear though that he's not interested. I mean you asked him out and he declined. A guy that's interested acts differently.

He thought you were someone else he knew. He kept staring bc you kept staring. It is clear though that he's not interested. I mean you asked him out and he declined. A guy that's interested acts differently.

Yeah, Inread this as his wishy was Jones's is in your mind. I think he's just acting like a regular college guy and you're scrutinizing his every move because you like him.

I think you are reading far too much into his behaviour, OP.

He's vaguely polite when you interact directly, but he's not interested in you.

He's just being nice. If the guy was into you it would be obvious.

He was never nice to me. He has looked away and ignored me multiple times. When I stopped talking to him he started saying hello to me and when I did not even say hi, he again got rude with me

I think you should just go about your day and stop staring at him. Forget he exists because it sounds like he's just trying to be polite when you initiate some sort of communication with him.

I stopped talking to him. He initiated. I didnt. Read the post again

I think the first time he thought you looked familiar to him - maybe you look like someone he knows. I think that all the other times --- he is just someone who talked to you before once --- he really doesn't know you and one time that you say "he saw you and looked away" - he might not have seen you at all - he could have been looking in your direction and then the other. I think he hit the nail on the head when he said you were acquaintances -- he is a guy who has seen you around and doesn't really know you and you really don't know him - you are just imagining that its more

I wasnt imagining anything. He has always shown interest. I gave up on him long time ago and stopped talking. He came to me and started initiating. I never did.

I think you are reading far too much into his behaviour, OP.

 

He's vaguely polite when you interact directly, but he's not interested in you.

I already wrote he was never polite. He used to see me and turn his face away. He would bang doors on me and ignore me but the moment he would be alone, he would talk to me

I stopped talking to him and a couple of days later he started greeting me.

He thought you were someone else he knew. He kept staring bc you kept staring. It is clear though that he's not interested. I mean you asked him out and he declined. A guy that's interested acts differently.

I never stared at him. He started first. Please dont reply if you dont understand the question

I already wrote he was never polite. He used to see me and turn his face away. He would bang doors on me and ignore me but the moment he would be alone, he would talk to me

 

I stopped talking to him and a couple of days later he started greeting me.

Alright, then. He was never polite to you.

He's still not interested in you.

Alright, then. He was never polite to you.

 

He's still not interested in you.

Then why did he initiate talking again and staring again? When I didnt approach him even after him greeting me, he got rude which was obvious in the conversation. He also blamed me for ignoring him.

I have no patience for guys that do this sort of thing...

that “come here - go away” nonsense drives me crazy. Either ask me out, be my friend, or leave me the f&@$ alone.. the hot and cold thing is sooo gamey.

 

Best thing to do is to back off and go on about your business until he decides one way or the other what he wants from you and stops being a staring weirdo lol

I think he was trying to hook up or something last year and it didnt happen so he started acting like this. A genuinely interested person would never act like this.

Then why did he initiate talking again and staring again? When I didnt approach him even after him greeting me, he got rude which was obvious in the conversation. He also blamed me for ignoring him.

There are a million and one possible answers to this question and unless he is willing to give you an honest answer, none of us will ever really know why.

At the end of the day does it matter? Do you want someone in your life that blows hot and cold and isn’t consistent with his interactions with you? Do you want someone that is rude and ignores you one day and polite the next? I think you deserve better than this... in the end it’s up to you where you go with it.

There are a million and one possible answers to this question and unless he is willing to give you an honest answer, none of us will ever really know why.

 

At the end of the day does it matter? Do you want someone in your life that blows hot and cold and isn’t consistent with his interactions with you? Do you want someone that is rude and ignores you one day and polite the next? I think you deserve better than this... in the end it’s up to you where you go with it.

As of now he seems unwilling which makes him seem shady. That hes avoiding to discuss why he always ignored me and suddenly became warm on his own. I do suspect that he has a gf and he was only trying to get laid with me and thats why he ignored me. And when i stopped paying him attention he decided to act warm to get me back in the game?

Or hes a revengeful person who feels very annoyed and hurt and is trying to make me feel the same way as he felt. As it was evident how annoyed and rude he was to me for no reason during our convo.

So why do you want anything to do with this guy?

So why do you want anything to do with this guy?

I used to like him and I still do. I always felt I hurt him by saying No because thats when he started this ignoring and not talking. I wanted to apologise to him.

I used to like him and I still do. I always felt I hurt him by saying No because thats when he started this ignoring and not talking. I wanted to apologise to him.

And now that you know he's not interested in talking, you can let it go and move on from him.

And now that you know he's not interested in talking, you can let it go and move on from him.

But what did i do to him? The way he talks and acts is like i ve done something very bad to him.

I only said no to his have we met before. I know it was a bad response but it wasnt so bad that he would completely stop interacting

Also claiming I'm ignoring him while he was saying hi was false as i said hi too. And the rudeness and passive aggressiveness ? What for? Its so hurtful. Its almost like hes completely mad at me but isnt showing it fully

Who knows? You barely know him yourself, and if you don't have the answers, we certainly can't make any accurate guesses either.

It doesn't matter. All that matters is that he no longer wants to engage with you. You never dated this guy, so it will be easy for you to move on.