How much is enough?

Hey guys, don't even know where to start, and hope I can make sense of this. been nearly 2 weeks with NC with my ex girlfriend, and it's hurting like hell. We we're together for 1 year, lived together for 6 of those months. She was like a dream come true, so beautiful, caring and into the same interests, started to get abit rocky around September last year, when we had a disagreement over something she would shut off, and was really frustrating because i just wanted to talk it out, I give her space for awhile, then try to talk to her again, but she still shut off, so then I become upset and frustrated, all I wanted is to resolve things, but then she keep saying, I'm afraid you (I'm far from a violent person) would never harm her in anyway, then threatns to kick me out, this happen about 5 different occasions when we argued and 3 of those times packed my stuff and threw my clothes outside. I always keep going back to her pleading to her how much I love her, the latest episode was around 3 weeks ago when she did it again, I had enough and told her it was over and it's final, did I make the right decision? I love her so much and feel lost without her, I did a dumb thing and txt her, but she was cold and nasty and believe it's over for sure.. the urge to txt her is real. .

Hey Lostsoul, Instead of ending it so quickly you all should have had a sit down, let her know how u felt and didn't appreciate what she did. I would remain NC. Try to keep it going. She might reach out to you first. Seem like she have a bit anger issue and might have been in an abusive relationship previously with someone else. Shes acting out for a reason could be attention. I'm not sure. But try to remain NC as best u can. Keep yourself Busy!

Hey Lauren0020, thanks for the reply.

I've tried all that with her, then just happens all over again. The last txt we had with each other wasn't pretty, we both said stuff heat of the moment, last txt from her was 'leave me alone, Blocked' I have removed her from my contacts and blocked her on fb to help the urge not to contact her. I just want to say sorry, and I miss her, love this girl so much. But only so much times it can happen.

Not sure of your ages, but maybe it was a bit too fast to move in with the girl, whom you hardly knew....first of all.

Second, this shutting down during a dispute when you should be communicating is not right. Her defenses are off.

This will NOT help anything.

And when you get frustrated.. she threatens to kick you out.. wow :/.

A lot has to change in order for you two to be able to work things out.

I suggest you NOT contact her for a good while. Leave her be to calm down and figure herself out.

No begging.. no admitting all your love for her..etc. You seem too needy.

And IF she comes at you again... you NEED to make some rules with this.

She NEEDS to also respect YOU here and your feelings. It is not all about her.

She should maybe consider some therapy... as to what is making her go off like this.

To assume her fears against YOU. Who has done nothing.. and her communication skills have to change & improve.

Unless this happens, things with her will not improve at all.

And don't move in with someone this fast. Very risky.

I'm 35 she's 41, I do understand we moved in way to quick, everything just seemed right at the time.. deep in my mind I think it's for the best, but this has happened 6 times in the past 4 months, last time she kicked me out I had no where to go, so I had to sleep in my car :( she didn't seemed to care, just become so cold and nasty

It's entirely up to you how long you want to continue to allow her to mistreat you.

And she is not going to "change " . Why should she? She treats you like garbage and you tell her you love her! Of course she has concluded you enjoy being mistreated.

OP, I have to ask, were you her rebound from something earlier?

Have you got your own place now? If so good.

Go NC - seems to be what she wants. Or maybe not wants, but is just being a drama queen. At age 41... who knows if she'll miss you. Maybe. Some would say probably.

She might even realize she is possibility projecting some problems from a previous relationship onto you (and that she needs to work on that).

She will either come back towards you, or she won't. If she does, and you are locked in to a lease or whatever someone else - all the better.

You could date her down the track - if she accepts your terms - and see how it goes - while having your own cave to retreat to when needed.

But, right now, you have to accept that it's done for good. It's going to be hard, it will get worse before it gets better, but it will get better.

This wasn't love, OP.

This was dysfunction. You two rushed things, and she sounds emotionally unstable if she's constantly threatening to kick you out and tossing your stuff outside.

There isn't a future here. So yes, you did the right thing by calling it off for good.

Firstly, don't feel upset that you made the wrong decision. Emotionally abusive relationships are not healthy, and if you had the confidence to walk away, I commend you for that. Relationships should always be two ways, and if you are finding that there is a give but never a take, you should take a step back and examine things, as I already see you are doing. Do you have friends or family you can stay with as you seek to recuperate and move on? Have you considered counseling to help you process the hurt and work on self-growth? Praying for you in this difficult time.