we broke up. He wants to get back, but there was a new guy inbetween

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for just under two years. Within those two years our relationship was a roller coaster mainly because my boyfriend was addicted to weed. I would always try to work around it but it got to the point where all he wanted to do was smoke and spend no time with me, so he broke up with me because he was no longer attracted to me. I was really sad and angry because all I wanted to do was spend time with him, but I realized I wasn't appreciated nor valued.

A few weeks later I was slowly able to get back on my feet. To me the relationship was over because I didn't want to be with someone who didn't want me. I met a new guy and started to date him, I wasn't looking or wanting anything serious and neither did he. During that time my ex boyfriend regretted his decision. He started to act up, kept talking to me during school, begging me to come back and he felt very devestated that he let me go. But at that time I was still really mad at him and did not want to talk.

I carried things on with this new guy for like a month, I still thought about my ex boyfriend and I did miss him and still thought about how much I love him. Turns out this new guy was crazy so we stopped seeing each other. Although I wanted to contact my ex boyfriend to see how he was doing, I felt that I shouldn't hinder his progress if he was getting over me and I also felt that I had recovered from the break up and was doing quite well on my own. So I just did me.

Soon after my ex boyfriend sends me a video about how much he loves me and how he's really thankful I left him because he finally was able to take the actions to get clean. We started talking again for a month, but even though I was missing him, I still felt sad and cautious because I remembered that he was the one that was unattracted to me and left me. I still wasn't Sure if he had changed and if we should get back together. Towards the end of the month I felt like he did make a change and that we could work things out, but I wanted to tell him about the guy in between. So I did and he didn't take it well, however he still wanted to be with me.

So we got back together and it's been about three weeks, but everyday he talks about the past and calls me out for being with someone else. He gets really angry and everyday says that I need to prove that I love him. Him calling me out makes me really sad and I feel like I've cried everyday. I gave him a gift, gave him a matching chain, cook for him, message him all the time and call him to make sure he knows that I want to always communicate with him. But I feel like even after I do this he still calls me out and says I need to prove my love. I feel like these small gestures go un noticed and holds me back from doing anything bigger because I feel like I'm being forced to do something. I want to work out solutions but he keeps bringing up this new guy I had. He then goes deeper into my pasts relationships with people and says I don't value of respect myself. Prior to this relationship I had only had one other boyfriend and intimately dated 2 men in the space of 8 years. However, he says that he feels that I'm dirty and he called me a b**** for the way I treated him during the break up.

Guys please help, what are your solutions and opinions?

Leave him. He's an a*$, to say the least.

He broke up with you and said he wasn't attracted to you anymore.

You then get together with another guy, after the break-up, and now your current beau expects you to prove your love because you were with someone after he broke up with you?

This guy's a manipulative punk and a nightmare.

You're catering to his requests, yet you haven't done anything wrong. He's mistreating you.

Please know your self worth and leave this man asap.

Yup, it's a textbook example of emotional abuse. If you google "emotional abuse" you will see what I mean. He's insulting you, calling you names, trying to control and manipulate you. Trying to get you to do things you don't want to do. He's basically accusing you of cheating on him with this other guy, which is textbook, because now you have to prove your love for him. If you try to leave, he'll cry and say he loves you, and he may be nice for a while, but he'll come roaring back even worse than before. You mean, probably don't love him. What you're feeling is emotional dependency. You can google that term too and see what I'm talking about. You felt sorry for him because of his weed addiction. You tried to help him. So you got attached like someone would with a sick child or a bird with a broken wing you nurse back to health. But it's not really love, it's dependency.

You need to get away from him. Have your friends and your family help you out. Get your mother or father to tell this loser to leave you alone. And don't talk to him at school and don't acknowledge him. He will only continue to hurt you and destroy your self esteem and sense of self worth because at some point you may start agreeing with him. You're a good girl and you don't deserve this. You need to get away from him.

While you are still young, please try to learn this lesson. Read the posts above again & again until you leave him for good. Losing him is a gain for you.

Based on the way he is acting, IMO you do need the support of other people, so let friends & family help you. He is already manipulating and abusing you.

"he feels that I'm dirty"

!

please, its goodbye bf, for good.

please, never go back..

you are responsible for your own happiness and entitled to date how you like until you find what works.

It's not working. Time to get out.

I loved how you said earlier how after the break up, you 'just did me'. Great attitude there. I think you should do that again.

So loser pothead bf dumps you, and expected you to stay single! Really?

This guy sounds like bigger creep than you initially thought. He is manipulative and bad news. You can do better than him.

He is abusive and does not love you.