Do I break up with him or is it a relationship worth saving?

Been dating for almost two years. When we first met, he was and still is a wonderful and very attractive person, back then he was so outgoing, so was I. Now, when we’re together it’s just filled with silence, and I hate it.

I keep bringing it with him and nothing ever changes. He makes no effort in conversation, I could talk for ages and all he would do is nod or say ‘mhm’ ‘oh right’. He doesn’t even talk to me to say ‘I’m just going in the shower’ he never talks to me literally!!! No meaningful or deep conversation other than small talk, saying his day was average etc. We never laugh anymore or have fun. Once every few weeks he’d be in a good mood to have fun and play with me, as in mess about and laugh together for a bit, and i love it, but it doesn’t last.

When I talk to him about it, he says he isn’t comfortable being himself with me anymore, and it’s got to the point where I’m not the bubbly person I once was when I’m with him now, his negativity puts the mood down as well as me.

Another thing, is that he is a completely different person when he’s with his friends! He turns into being funny and talkative! When he’s with me, my family/friends its the complete opposite.

I am still with him because im hoping it doesn’t last forever, it wasn’t like this at the start. He does make effort in terms of seeing me, taking me out, buying thoughtful gifts, and he is very work orientated and i know he will be an amazing husband on paper in the future as well as a father. I know he will never ever hurt me. It’s just not fun anymore, and I don’t know what to do? I keep thinking about breaking up with him but the thought of not seeing him makes me break down.

Thats the thing about what looks good on paper it isnt always what it seems or what its cut out to be.

You break down because youve put a lot of time and love.

But OP be honest with yourself..are you happy? Do you cry more because of him?

If you arent happy he isnt meant for the long haul. Things change you two obviously have.

I hate to say it go with your gut and move onto someone when your ready who will grow with you.

Do you have your own friends, hobbies, interests?

When I talk to him about it, he says he isn’t comfortable being himself with me anymore, and it’s got to the point where I’m not the bubbly person I once was when I’m with him now, his negativity puts the mood down as well as me.

This statement reveals a LOT. Have you asked him why or discussed this issue? How is he being negative if he doesn't talk? What has transpired that he doesn't feel comfortable being himself around you?

Sorry, but it sounds like he is done with the relationship, just waiting for you to end it.

It will get worse. Why are you putting up with this?

I'm sorry, but he doesn't care.

A relationship that you are meant to be in will not change you negatively. A relationship is about growth and bringing out the best in each other. You say that you know that he will never hurt you but it seems as if you are hurting right now. Just because a person is great on paper does not mean that they are great for you. Once you find your self worth then you will realize that you deserve more in a relationship. Best of luck to you.

When I talk to him about it, he says he isn’t comfortable being himself with me anymore, and it’s got to the point where I’m not the bubbly person I once was when I’m with him now, his negativity puts the mood down as well as me.

What is he referring to? That's a significant point and says a lot about his unhappiness in the relationship. Why doesn't he feel he can be himself around you?

It sounds as though he is on his way out of your relationship.

This statement reveals a LOT. Have you asked him why or discussed this issue? How is he being negative if he doesn't talk? What has transpired that he doesn't feel comfortable being himself around you?

I asked why and he said he doesn’t know why, just when he’s with me something causes him to shut off, almost as if ‘he’s embarrassed’ to be himself. That’s all he said. And I said I felt similar, in that his mood caused mine to be low, and not want to talk either. It’s like a cycle and we put each other down in a way. Obviously couples don’t talk to each other 24/7, but we barely do, and if anything it’s just me, telling him stories about my day, he doesn’t even comment on things when we watch tv, if I ask him questions about anything he will reply with a closed off answer like ‘yeah’ or a nod.

Yes I have my own, go to the gym a lot and other things, he’s a work a holic and the only free time he gets is spent with me if im free. He does spend time with his friends too every other week like me, but he doesn’t really have any hobbies. Tried to get Him to do some classes with me but he said he didn’t want to.

A relationship is based on communication. You can't just keep talking to yourself. He's emotionally checked out, so just end it. I'd be bored out of my mind in your situation.

I think he just doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore and hasn't yet had the stones to tell you that.

Yes I have my own, go to the gym a lot and other things, he’s a work a holic and the only free time he gets is spent with me if im free. He does spend time with his friends too every other week like me, but he doesn’t really have any hobbies. Tried to get Him to do some classes with me but he said he didn’t want to.

What keeps you with him, he's not a good candidate for a life mate.? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life all alone in your relationship with him? How does that picture look?

In my heart of hearts its clear that he isn’t in love with you anymore and doesn’t want to be with you. Maybe he feels lots of guilt about it so he shuts down, and he doesn’t bring it up. I think he’s just “getting by” being this unhappy hoping that one day you’d throw in the towel and let him go.

I think you should, not just to free him from his sorrow, but to allow yourself to find someone whose face will light up when they see you. Who wouldn’t be able to stop texting you, calling you, wanting to be around you.

Can you imagine this guy being your husband for the next 50 years? He sounds like he’d make you miserable.

Im experiencing a similar situation...but mine has depression..(.read my older posts) and he still calls me texts me telling me what he is doing but he is just mean and sassy at times...people go through ups and downs downs...what does he mean by not feelling comfortable ? Is there anything going on in his life ? Overworking could be a problem but i bet there s a lot more there...

My mom always says that the relationship you have to work on is your marriage because kids are going to grow up and move away. You and your husband have a relationship together.

You do not have children. Do not go further down the road with this guy until you figure that out. If you don't think you can have kids with this guy and you want kids then you got to move on.

If you're not sure about kids you do have more time but you always have time to slow down and think before you make a decision.

Honestly I was kind of in a similar situation. And I remember one time being so annoyed I looked at my boyfriend and said you don't even smile at me when you see me. And I just felt like that sums it up so much. It's hard sometimes break up when you don't have a clear-cut he cheated on me decision.

A break my add new fire to the relationship you never know.

I have heard of guys just waiting it out for the woman to break It off, 2 so I agree with the posters that mention that as well.

What would happen if you went stayed with a girlfriend or something? Maybe talk doing that... test it out

That's kind of sad. It's sad that instead of just ending it, he's letting it continue, not being happy. Is there any updates as I've seen you wrote this a couple weeks ago.