She started and now I need to finish..

In my ignorance, was blind to the fact of her few text that started last month.. She first sent a picture of her and "our" dog. Ignored it and replied a week later. Text went well she told me how he was doing etc.

About 2 weeks pass and she sent a word that only me and her use to say hi. Started small how are you doing and where do I work now. Didn't think nothing of it.. Then said she found an item that was mine (this is 12 months after we broke up) and asked if it was okay to drop it off to me.. Before she would drop off in front of my door.. Of course I said sure.

Asked a friend a about this and he told me she miss me and was reaching out.. Now she came by and she told me about her family and what was going on in her life. At this time noticed she couldn't make eye contact with with me. Hours later she drunk texted me saying she missed me and she miss us and want to make love with me. Have my baby etc. We lost a baby to miscarriage.

Next day I asked her about this and she said she loved me and will always and wanted to start off as friends and see where it takes us. I acted slightly umm insecure? meaning i said we are more than friends and can over come the relationship issues we had.

My question is. It's been 5-6 days since we texted. Should I text her something special to continue the spark and let her know yes I am still interested but not come on strong. For instance. Hi it's friday and wanted you have a good day and smile.

Thank You.

Well, what do you want? Do you want to get back with this girl or not? Why did you guys break up? Do you want to try again? Ask her if she wants to get together for a talk, don't do it through text and see what you and she wants.

tell her that you will love to be her friend and that you want to take things slow too and then let her do all the reaching out, stop trying to do things calling her to make her feel good because that is weak and needy. Instead let her reach out be nice to her but be a man don't be too serious when she calls joke around remain confident when she tries to knock u off your center making you feel insecure etc your attitude should be your happy with her and without her confident. Doesn't mean you can't call her but not in that weak mindset trying to say nice things to her so she can feel good calling her like a man to see what she's up too make her smile and no matter what she does you don't loose your confident don't talk much over the phone quit conversation before her make definite dates she wants to be friends with you because she was desperate she thought she was gonna loose you was unsure and wanted everything with you after you said in miss you so much you killed that misteriosa vibe uncertainty that she has now she wants to be friends and see from there she is trying to string you along now you have to be smarter then her agree and say it's the best thing for both to be friends and see what happens and then go on live your life let her see that u are free and happy without her. Be nice when she reaches out but don't give her much time that way she will want more and more until she cracks remember in the process she will do a lot of things to make you needy and knock you off your manliness if you remain confident you will venta only get her trust me been through this 100 times

Sorry for late response.

There is a little history that wasn't said in the previous text. We broke up cause of my family issues and different reason's that can be worked on. Also, she left me for a rebound and continued to text me. Also with that I left her and moved on, she decided to marry him. In short she kept my last name (more info that could bore you)

Do I want her back.? I am unsure. The feelings are still strong between us. Right now. I am extremely happy and been doing what makes me feel great. The unusual text and reaching out caught me and opened up like a bandage holding a leak. When we started talking I had my guard up (in the beginning) and taught me a few things in life that I still use today.

This morning I texted her It's friday n try and stay awake. And don't forget to show your smile. Response "thank you" sent her the emoji tongue sticking out and wink. Her emoji was the closed smile with winking eyes.

When she text back in few days or so, going to try and get her to call me..

Is she married?

Is she married?

Yes. And she said because she thought I left for good. It sounds like GIGS to me.

She was ordained by someone who can marry. But kept my last name.

After hearing she was having issues living with parents I welcomed her to live with me till she found a place.

Now to find out she still has feelings for me and really seems committed to her new boyfriend. He doesn't know she is living with me. We sleep in the same bed, even cuddled few times. No sex.

She left you for someone else, and lied to him while with you. Now she wants to go another round and you'll consider it?

You say you are in a good place. Why upset that with more of the same?

Yes. And she said because she thought I left for good. It sounds like GIGS to me.

 

She was ordained by someone who can marry. But kept my last name.

Does she plan to.get a divorce? Surely you wouldn't consider an affair.

After hearing she was having issues living with parents I welcomed her to live with me till she found a place.

Now to find out she still has feelings for me and really seems committed to her new boyfriend. He doesn't know she is living with me. We sleep in the same bed, even cuddled few times. No sex.

 

She left you for someone else, and lied to him while with you. Now she wants to go another round and you'll consider it?

You say you are in a good place. Why upset that with more of the same?

We all have the one ex that we can't shake. More I walk away it seem the noose start's to tighten. On if i'm considering it? Think it's the emotions talking and why I post to either get advice or knock some common sense into me..

boltnrun - We haven't discussed where this is going. Not going to help anyone cheat. An affair isn't in my nature. She could go do that with someone else.

Outside sources are telling me all the lonely social post. Tell them not to but to them they find humor in it. Do keep quiet cause even if we don't work out nor speak again, I will always care and wish her no harm.. Heard she is starting to get anxiety. I'm not the one to be a crutch.

Considering it cause my father divorced his wife for about a year and they ended up back together. Still together 20 years later.

You are currently engaged in an emotional affair with her, a married woman.

Has she discussed her unhappiness with her husband? Does he know she's looking elsewhere for comfort and affection? Does he know she's communicating with you?

If he knew I wouldn't be able to type out the going on "emotional affair" that has shown me this is all wrong. Do know they argue and she claims he treats her right. Just not a lifetime partner.

My heart is becoming harden as this sub grow's. Becoming more guilty as I read the questions and what is being typed by my fellow peers. Now that I envision the consequences that could happen.

So she was with you, went to him when you two split up, married him, now is trying to go back to you. And her husband has no idea she's trying to get back together with you. Flip flops from you to him and back to you.

Is this woman incapable of being on her own? Do her behaviors suggest "quality woman" or "trustworthy woman" to you?

Back tracking instead of moving forward. No, no she isn't. We had struggles and had the quality to treat me like wife. Now, trustworthy? Never had a reason to not trust her.

Dumbest question i'll ask. What makes a woman go back to a ex when they left in the first place. If the problems still exist, it won't work. Got support from friends and now a year later I'm back to talk to her. there has to be a reason she is becoming attractive to me.

Well, her husband certainly has reason to regard her as untrustworthy. After all, she's married and engaging in a secret emotional affair with you. If he doesn't already know he will soon.

She obviously misses you and took the brave steps of beginning to reach out in order to see how you would respond. She hesitates because, like we all do, she doesn't want to open herself up to hurt. My advice (and I've successfully gotten back with my ex) is to TRULY evaluate the relationship and see if you've grown.

Have you worked on learning from the good things you did in order to repeat them but improve on them?? Did you learn from the things you feel you did wrong in order to not repeat them? If so then my suggestion is to start over. Treat her just like you would a woman you just asked out for the first time but who you may have known for a while as friends. Date her all over again because if it's going to work it has to be a new relationship.

If not, and you have to be honest with yourself or you're going to hurt her and you, and if you really care about her you won't do that... Then tell her you can give her the love of a friend but nothing more.

I'm thinking her husband might object to her dating the OP.

I'm thinking her husband might object to her dating the OP.

Ooops crap I missed that part. HELL NO stay away then and ignore what I said (i'm going to edit it out if I can), what would you be thinking if she's with someone???!

Wasn't thinking. It's easy to talk to her. She keeps coming back to me and doesn't go away. Think she is seeing my sleeve becoming complete on a mutual friends page. Always rubbed my arm over them.

But that's besides that point.

In my ignorance, was blind to the fact of her few text that started last month.. She first sent a picture of her and "our" dog. Ignored it and replied a week later. Text went well she told me how he was doing etc.

 

About 2 weeks pass and she sent a word that only me and her use to say hi. Started small how are you doing and where do I work now. Didn't think nothing of it.. Then said she found an item that was mine (this is 12 months after we broke up) and asked if it was okay to drop it off to me.. Before she would drop off in front of my door.. Of course I said sure.

 

Asked a friend a about this and he told me she miss me and was reaching out.. Now she came by and she told me about her family and what was going on in her life. At this time noticed she couldn't make eye contact with with me. Hours later she drunk texted me saying she missed me and she miss us and want to make love with me. Have my baby etc. We lost a baby to miscarriage.

 

Next day I asked her about this and she said she loved me and will always and wanted to start off as friends and see where it takes us. I acted slightly umm insecure? meaning i said we are more than friends and can over come the relationship issues we had.

 

My question is. It's been 5-6 days since we texted. Should I text her something special to continue the spark and let her know yes I am still interested but not come on strong. For instance. Hi it's friday and wanted you have a good day and smile.

 

Thank You.

Hi Cooltainted!!! What is the outcome your are looking for, OP>? do you want to get back together? OMG! She's married ??????? wow thats a tough one x jill

Tell her what you want. And then don't settle for anything less.

The outcome that is ment to be. Otherwise I'm going to keep doing me. Not going to stick around and wait. Wasn't the one who reached out for what reason sounded good to her. She was the one thinking about me.

She's unhappily married I think and the rebound is wearing off. My karma is to positive to deal with negativity.

So, if I hear from her again will tell her you leave or stay and i'll go my way or test if it's true between us.