Got pregnant by a married man

We been together for 2 yrs until i got pregnant where all the problems came in. He wanted me to keep the pregnancy as a secret,he even has the idea of bringing the child in our country if ever something happen to me when i give birth, and he will adopt the child so the wife wouldn't know about his biological child. He even threatened me that if the wife would know about the affair she would file a case against him and i will get involve. He didn't want me to file for a child support because he said he's gonna lose everything and if that happens he will stay with me and there is nothing he can do to support our child. As days passed by i have realized that he just wanted to save his ass. And when i told him that i have nothing left on me i noticed that he just wanted to make sure that he can keep what he has right now. I told him that he can go and fix his relationship with his wife and i'll just do the legal process when it comes to the child but he refused and told me he wanted to keep the relationship with me. But things went wrong, until he himself told his wife about our affair and told her that i am just for a sex that he did not love me etc. they called me and he allowed his wife to call me names and even threatened me and my other children. Now i just want to have a peaceful pregnancy...i love the guy so much i just can't imagine that he is willing to make his own child to suffer just for him to keep what he has right now.

All you can do is file for child support and keep away from married men in the future . Married men are none of your business .

Unfortunately, this is not uncommon. If he wanted to leave his wife, he would have done so over the last 2 years or so. It's been pretty clear for a long while that he wanted to stay with his wife. A baby is not going to change that. He seems pretty dedicated to staying with her (even while actively cheating on her).

 

It's 'normal' that if he wanted to keep his wife, that he would try to put it all on you and you would be the bad guy.

 

BTW - I think it's pretty disturbing that he was talking about "if something happened to you" he would adopt the baby. I'm not sure where your home country is but that's pretty terrifying. He was basically fantasizing about your death (?!!)

 

I am sorry you are going through this. Despite this all being very foolish on your part, I'm sure you cared about him and you wanted a different outcome.

 

Unfortunately, I think you will need to simply acknowledge that you will be a single mom in all of this and you should consult a lawyer. Unfortunately, this does sound like it's going to get more messy before it gets better. You will absolutely need to do what's best for you and your child and forget any romantic notions with this guy.

What a jerk. I would not put up with the abuse. File for sole custody and file for child support. He can't prevent that.

 

but wow --- he was going to adopt the child and pretend to the wife the child was not his...how does a spouse go out and just come home with a baby? Most agencies require home visits, both spouses to be on board. Its not like these are the days of Moses in a basket where you just find a baby all alone in a river. Wow he must think she has no brains at all.

What a jerk. I would not put up with the abuse. File for sole custody and file for child support. He can't prevent that.

 

but wow --- he was going to adopt the child and pretend to the wife the child was not his...how does a spouse go out and just come home with a baby? Most agencies require home visits, both spouses to be on board. Its not like these are the days of Moses in a basket where you just find a baby all alone in a river. Wow he must think she has no brains at all.

No kidding that's just nuts .

Trying to dredge up some sympathy for the OP.....but just can't. Knowingly getting involved with a married man....she is getting what she deserves. I wouldn't even be surprised if she got knocked up hoping it will bring him to her only to find out that he won't leave his wife after all. What a lesson in don't fck people who are taken regardless of what bs they are feeding to you because at the end of the day, it will only burn you.

. Now i just want to have a peaceful pregnancy...

Then quit trying to get him to involve himself with you. You are/were the mistress. No more, no less. I'm sorry you got yourself involved like you have.

 

I'm sorry, but he does not love you but he was fond of you until you got pregnant and started to cause trouble in his marriage. Now he's just pissed off at you.

 

i just can't imagine that he is willing to make his own child to suffer just for him to keep what he has right now.

And I can't believe that you would have a baby with a man that is not available to be in yours or the babies life.

 

Get help for your lack of self-respect so that you don't allow yourself to get involved with married men ever again, Ok!

 

Learn to love yourself enough to never again be someone's dirty secret. He's an A-hole that cheats on his wife. He's not someone you should let yourself fall in love with.