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boyfriend and my sister?


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my boyfriend comes round to my house a lot and talk to my family etc. just normal and everyone loves him!

 

anyway, one of my sisters always always always is around when he's there, asks when he's coming round etc.

whenever me and my boyfriend are in the kitchen she comes in and talks, and because she talks a lot i can never get a word in and it makes me jealous and annoyed.

i end up telling me and my bf to go to my room as it just annoys me.

my sister doesn't have many friends and she has never ever had a proper relationship (we are twins), therefore maybe she just likes talking to him? but if it was the other way round, i'd want to let her and her bf be alone.

 

anyway, so i get jealous and mad whenever they talk more than me, and she calls him a weird name that i used to call him & i get mad when she calls him it because it's just weird.

i ask my bf if we can go to his house instead but he says he prefers mine as his is boring (he only lives with his mum).

 

the other night he was sat down and she bent over to pick something up and her cleavage was on full view, she covered herself up but i got annoyed & it made me feel really weird & disgusted that he saw that she just gets in the way and it annoys me! i've told my bf about it and he says that it's her house too and she can come in if she wants, but it just annoys me.

what do i do? i get jealous easily & frustrated. i've tried telling my sister to leave us alone sometimes and to not take over the conversation for ages etc. but she never does or she goes and tells my parents that i'm being weird by thinking she likes my bf & then i get told off.

what do you all think?

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He says it's boring at his house. Wouldn't he be having fun with you? Why are other family members needed for his amusement? He probably likes the ego boost of knowing your sister has a crush on him. Why not hang out with him at a local park, or the mall, or go bicycle riding or on a hike or go to his home, even if he complains. Your feelings matter, too. When you feel strongly about something, whereas it's a 9 or 10 on a scale of importance, stand your ground.

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thank you for the response. by boring i believe he means that there are minimal things to do in his house, compared to mine as i have a big family and my parents chat to him lots so he finds it more fun, plus he complains that his house is ugly and he's embarrassed.

as it's near the summer, i will be doing different activities outside my house, but i think my boyfriend likes the fact he's included in my family and he likes going round.

i can't tell if my sister has a crush on him, but it makes me feel uncomfortable when she's around him, and it puts me in a bad mood. i don't know what to do about it, because if i mentioned it to her then she'd say i was being weird and she'd get mad at me.

i actually dread my boyfriend coming round because of it.

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Your bf is enjoying the attention. Go to his house or go out. Double date with some of his friends. Tell sis to stop flirting with the bf, tell the bf the same.

i ask my bf if we can go to his house instead but he says he prefers mine as his is boring (he only lives with his mum).
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It doesn't sound like he's flirting with her.

 

Could be any number of reasons, attention from the twin sister aside, that he could be more comfortable kicking back in your house instead of his. As others have suggested, go out and do things. You admit your sister has a tough time with having friends of her own, so it shouldn't be a surprise you find her lingering around the common areas you're both in.

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See if BF has any friends to fix up with your sister. Don't double date unless and until she takes to a guy of her own. Meanwhile, rather than accuse sister, tell her that you adore spending time with her but would appreciate more time alone with your BF--wink-wink--and you would consider it a personal favor if she'd say quick hello's and then move onto another room.

 

If that doesn't work well enough, you could try bribery. Go to the bank, pull out cash, and tell her that every time she scrams for the duration of BF's visit after you wink at her, you'll give her 20 bucks on the spot.

 

Cash bribery works both ways. It rewards her for each exit, but it also gets expensive enough to teach you how to be more tolerant of mixing social interactions with your sister. It will set a booby trap for you that will force you to become more creative about how and where you spend time with BF, rendering avoidance of sister unnecessary.

 

Or, you could just negotiate fair trades of one favor for another. Ask sister what she wants from you in exchange for skipping interaction with your BF. You may end up doing her laundry or something, but most things are a small price to pay if this matters to you all that much.

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