Wife's Facebook 😘 Blowing kiss emoji

Married 11 years average to good relationship. I discovered that my wife sent a message to a co-worker, male, that said: happy birthday, friend followed by😘(The wink blowing kiss emoji). Almost like we are just friends right wink wink. The bigger issue is in her activity history on Facebook this is the only activity she removed. When confronted she denies anything inappropriate. Am I being paranoid or is it a legitimate concern?

Hearts and kisses and whatnot may just a be a girly kind of thing. She could have sent the same message to her mother or a girlfriend. Are you going through her phone and worried about this? It doesn't sound threatening.

I discovered that my wife sent a message to a co-worker, male, that said: happy birthday, friend followed by😘(The wink blowing kiss emoji).

Prior to this I observed on her phone that the same guy sent her a text that said thanks for the crackers and cookies you left on my desk. You know I like sweet and salty.

Your right it could all be innocent and I guess that is why I am reaching out. I just don't understand why she would delete that message from her activity history and nothing else.

Because she knows you are monitoring her phone.

I just don't understand why she would delete that message from her activity history and nothing else.

Why delete that post from your activity if there is nothing to hide? She knows I check it, if it is harmless leave it there. She deletes no other posts from her activity log.

Why are you checking her phone? This sounds like much deeper issues in your marriage than a coworker thanking her for a snack or bday wishes to a coworker. Perhaps she is finally asserting some healthier boundaries by deleting it and as a countermeasure to your chronic snooping. It sounds like you create drama when you snoop and she's avoiding that.

She knows I check it.

We share a Facebook account and the text I saw when we were in the car while she was driving. You don't think there is any irony in placing 😘 After the word friend? Or saying sweet and salty just the way I know you like it? Maybe I am being paranoid but definitely odd.

Is the guy foreign? It's possible he doesn't quite know local communication norms.

But why would your wife communicate with her cheating partner on a shared account?

She is a sign language interpreter, he is deaf. She used to tell me that she used to say in college I always wanted to have sex with a deaf guy.

Interpreting this remark as some type of covert sexting is letting your imagination run wild, no?

I observed on her phone that the same guy sent her a text that said thanks for the crackers and cookies you left on my desk. You know I like sweet and salty.

I'm a teenager, and let me tell you that the kissing emoji can be used in a lot of different ways, and I think you're overthinking

I guess, maybe it is all innocent 😇

She is leaving treats on his desk?? Not so innocent. chi

I kinda agree. It's hard to decide what to do about it. It all appears suspicious. I would not leave her if something occurred, provided it is over.

I just would prefer closure on this and not left wondering. She is adamant nothing happened.

I just would prefer closure on this and not left wondering. She is adamant nothing happened.

You have two options. Trust her and drop it, or pester her until you damage the relationship.

Thanks. I was just looking to the board to get opinions on whether I am paranoid or legitimately concerned.

I just have to decide if I should take a freee pass and then move on. If she did not cheat I would not but with this uncertainty, not sure which way to go.

She knows that you are tuned into this issue, so she will be more careful or she will drop it. Will you be more investigative? I would be more disturbed by the treats that she left for him. Did you talk to her about that? chi

No we were in the car and just acted like I did not see it. This ws back in December so it might be hard to bring it up now. Previously, she told me he was a good friend and walked her to her car and brushed the snow off her car. Just stating he was a nice guy.

If I had to guess she would probably drop it as I am confident she loves me and the life we created. It woould've only been a physical thing during a period when we were having infrequent sex like 2x per month. Now it is back to 2x per week and I am probably to blame for most of dry spell.

I have to admit around the beginning on January it had been about 6 weeks since sex. When we had sex she felt extremely loose, more so than I ever remember. Again, not sure if this means anything but definitely noticeable.

A kiss emoji? I like it sweet and salty? Really now...I would be suspicious too. I send kiss emoji's to my boyfriend only. I would never send one to a friend. A girlfriend yes, but not a guy friend. I don't think it's appropriate.

What do you think I should do now?

Srrigr, affairs happen.

Tomorrow, millions of broken men will stand in a courtroom wondering how in the world they got there.

How has the marriage been in the past few years? Did she say anything negitive about you or the marriage? Any mention of regrets, etc.

In meantime:

Secretly purchase James Dobson's "Love must be tough" (Never let her see this book)