Family matters

Ok here it is... my stepdaughter is about to have her second child and at 3 months pregnant asked me to be in the delivery room, I was very honoured to say the least, (I had been there for her first child's delivery). So she lives 5 hours drive from where I'm located and I have my husband and a 14 and 3 year old at home plus I work full time and we have no idea when the baby is coming. So I work out a plan to do my job from a campus up near where she lives and set a date to go up a week before her due date, I don't organise anything with work til last minute as she could very well have the baby prior. About 6 days before set date to go up I ask her do you still want me there (as I know what it's like sometimes you just want it to be you and your partner in the room) I'm told yes still come up, so from that point I tell my boss, work out office arrangements, make arrangements for my kids while I'm away etc, ...then 2 days beforehand i message her to say I'm booking my flights and she messages me back and tells me that her and her partner have had a chat and their house isn't really ready for visitors and they have talked about it and they really just want it to be them in the delivery room, I say to her why didn't you tell me this the other day before I organised everything!!! She says they have been thinking it for awhile but didn't know how to say it and thought the baby would probably come early and wouldn't need to say anything... I text back and say can I call you, I hear nothing, then text to say I can be there looking after her first child get the house ready for you for when ya get back from the hospital with the baby ect.. I then get back I'll call you after dinner, at which point I felt so used I told her not to bother than I removed my Facebook profile and blocked her phone number. Now a couple days later I find out my husband has not even mentioned what she did was wrong and I'm now upset with him for not saying something like 'hey what you did wasn't cool' .. feeling really crap any advice or thoughts is much appreciated, thanks

Sounds like you hadn't booked your flights yet, and it's good you checked. All good.

The rest? I understand your disappointment and you felt inconvenienced, but 1) saying "not to bother", 2) removing your Facebook profile, and 3) blocking her number are uncalled-for-x-3. It's a tricky time for her, as you probably know. Seeing how you reacted to this, it is probably wise for her not to have you around for the birth. Sorry. Sure, it wasn't cool of her, but you lost your cool and took it even further, and that is definitely uncool. And please don't put your husband in the middle.

Your husband is still probably over the moon about his new grandchild to be worrying about this stuff or causing a family civil war.

Honestly, when she said she didn't want you there, that was bad on her end, but she's about to have a kid and I'm sure has a lot going on. But then you started pushing and blocked her... and honestly, you've escalated this past where it needed to be.

She sounds very inconsiderate, but blocking the number and removing the FB profile was very dramatic, and unnecessary.

In the end, you didn't lose out on anything. Just don't offer to do anymore favors.

Yes she should have told you a lot sooner than she did that they didnt want you there but you really over reacted by blocking her and deleting FB. She's the one with raging hormones, busy anticipating a new baby and all the stuff and drama that goes with it. It's you that blew it, not her. Sorry to say that. You owe her an apology after this child is born.

Thanks for your feedback everyone, good to see outside perspective and guess I am being over dramatic about it. I think I just need to suck it up for now and start trying to get some positivity back about this new baby coming. Still feel used but my Step daughter has always been pretty wrapped up in herself and never worked so probably has no idea how I had to rearrange everything to make it happen

You acted like a teenager.

I've unblocked her, and messaged her. Feel pretty bad about my actions but to be honest she will probably be none the wiser