Exclusive FWB dating or not

My ex decided that he wants to be exclusive FWB, and we have been on and off for 3 1/2 years I want more but he wants to remain with no title. We both do what people in relationships do like hang out but 24/7, we hook up, we go out on adventures. We kiss,we hug ,but we don't hold hands... But when I bring up that I want to be more he shuts down. What should I do? And can anyone tell me why this is complicated? Should I continue to wait or something. ...

Do you think he wants FWB so he can pursue other women? If the answer is yes, how do you feel about it?

If he can't give you what you want in a relationship you may need to move on.

It sounds like between the on/off situation and now wanting fwb that he likes to keep things in suspended animation for hanging out and having sex. This is a good-for-now situation, at least in his mind.

Do not wait around if you are looking for a future and committed relationship with someone.

My ex decided that he wants to be exclusive FWB, and we have been on and off for 3 1/2 years I want more but he wants to remain with no title.

Sounds like he told you what he wanted and you just chose not to listen.

What should I do? And can anyone tell me why this is complicated?

What is complicated about this set-up? He gets to enjoy all of the benefits of a relationship, while he remains a free agent. What a deal!

we dont see anyone except each other we do not see other people

I think though that he probably wants to be free to hook up with other women and that's why he doesn't want to commit to a monoganous relationship. He has a sweet deal where he's got you all to himself and he gets the sex and the companionship, but he doesn't have to be a boyfriend. If you want a relationship then why are you wasting your time on this guy for 3.5 years? That is a really long time to spend on someone who obviously doesn't want a future with you.

we went a month long road trip and he became more close to me the when we got back he became distant, we don't allow each other to see other people so i dont know

Just because you are exclusive at the moment it doesn't mean there is a future. Are you happy with him blowing hot and cold and being on/off for 3.5 yrs and now this no strings arrangement?

If you are looking to go places, say a bank vp, getting demoted from manager to janitor is not a step in the right direction. went a month long road trip and he became more close to me the when we got back he became distant

its complicated all because he had a bad last relationship and doesnt want to get hurt like that again, we go out just the two of us we hang out at my house his house and around his family !! i dont know if i should keep going or i am setting up myself for failure

You are setting yourself up for failure

you are slowly being downgraded ....

this no title thing isnt going to work and there will be a point where someone wont be able to take it anymore.

its complicated all because he had a bad last relationship and doesnt want to get hurt like that again, we go out just the two of us we hang out at my house his house and around his family !! i dont know if i should keep going or i am setting up myself for failure

OK but 3.5 years?! He should be WELL over that break-up by now!

What is complicated about this set-up? He gets to enjoy all of the benefits of a relationship, while he remains a free agent. What a deal!

I know, it's great! My gender is finally learning. Relationships primarily benefit women, so we're starting to create dynamics that benefit us.

For the last couple weeks we have been getting closer he spends the night at my house and I do the same at his place with his family. We went to Halloween Horror Nights and he was kissing me aND holdING me all day and night

So in your mind this means you've gotten back together and it's a relationship and what he told you about being fwb only is a mistake on his part?

For the last couple weeks we have been getting closer he spends the night at my house and I do the same at his place with his family. We went to Halloween Horror Nights and he was kissing me aND holdING me all day and night

we dont see anyone except each other we do not see other people

Are you sure he doesn't see other people? Have you actually asked him if he does. Just because you are exclusive sexually it doesn't mean you are committed and exclusively dating.

When you're "off" I suspect he's very much dating and having sex with others. That's why it's "off"

Originally Posted by Sacredserenity View Post

 

For the last couple weeks we have been getting closer he spends the night at my house and I do the same at his place with his family. We went to Halloween Horror Nights and he was kissing me aND holdING me all day and night

Why do you allow him to cross FWB boundaries when he wont commit to you?

Agree. 3.5 yrs of on/off indicates this and just coming out and saying 'we are fwb' is easier than staging breakups for this all the time.

Are you sure he doesn't see other people? Have you actually asked him if he does.

When you're "off" I suspect he's very much dating and having sex with others. That's why it's "off"