Situation: Chances?

Hey guys, here's a situation. please don't state the obvious but explain it in a way you would to someone who's goin' through that issue. In this case, my friend. Posting on his behalf lol I post situations not only to benefit those who are in need but also help out future lovers when they read this post. anyways Let's say a guy and girl fell in love, guy did something idiotic but the girl gave him a chance. Why would a girl (or guy in any relationship) give them so many chances after 4-9 times of making mistakes?

I gave way too many chances in my last relationship. It was because I loved him and didn't want to lose him, even though I knew he wasn't giving me what I wanted or needed, and he kept doing things that really hurt. People give too many chances out of love, determination to make something work, low self-esteem and not really feeling like they deserve better, feeling like there are no better options if they broke up, being too nice and easily sweet-talked back in, etc.

Take your pick:

Co-dependent

Unresolved issues from childhood

Doesn't learn from the past

Doesn't recognize patterns....surely this time it will be different unlike the previous 10 times.....

Fear of being alone

Enjoys the drama and is addicted to it

Low self esteem/self respect

Martyr complex

I'm sure there is more...... but really it all boils down to the same thing - because they want to. Period.

Why not have your friend open his own account on ENA? Posting on the behalf of friends can be confusing to members who have already responded to your own threads.

Thank you for your input as well as thanks to DancingFool. Has it ever come to that point where no matter what someone does, even if it hurts you, you still gave them chances until you've had it, the last straw?

Why not have your friend open his own account on ENA? Posting on the behalf of friends can be confusing to members who have already responded to your own threads.

I've said it before, these are situations. no need to comment like that. Just don't comment if you have nothing nice to say. I would like to hear peoples situations and how they handled it or coped with the pain. Either for my benefit, friends & family (cuz i'm not so good at figuring out women as much as i'd hate to admit it) helping them out and thanking you guys for it and lastly it could help others who search online for help in "situations" like these. Thank you

Poor self esteem. Don't think they can do better.

Why would a girl (or guy in any relationship) give them so many chances after 4-9 times of making mistakes?

I've said it before, these are situations. no need to comment like that. Just don't comment if you have nothing nice to say. I would like to hear peoples situations and how they handled it or coped with the pain. Either for my benefit, friends & family (cuz i'm not so good at figuring out women as much as i'd hate to admit it) helping them out and thanking you guys for it and lastly it could help others who search online for help in "situations" like these. Thank you

Thank you for your input as well as thanks to DancingFool. Has it ever come to that point where no matter what someone does, even if it hurts you, you still gave them chances until you've had it, the last straw?

Yep, with my recent ex. I gave chance after chance for 2 years. Way too many to count. It did hurt, but I thought it would hurt worse to lose him. I finally did reach the point of having had it. The last straw was when he told me about a girl he liked and had probably cheated with, but I was working my way up to dropping him for other reasons before that. Dropping him for the final straw wasn't painless, though, by any means, even though I had had enough. This was almost 2 months ago, and I'm still having a really hard time with it all.

Sorry, but are you asking supposedly hypothetical questions for friends then attacking respondents when you disagree with their responses? Not sure what you are driving at?

I've said it before, these are situations. no need to comment like that. Just don't comment if you have nothing nice to say.

Sorry, but are you asking supposedly hypothetical questions for friends then attacking respondents when you disagree with their responses? Not sure what you are driving at?

No I'm not attacking anybody and sorry if it seems that way. It's like I'm posting situations that people may go through and in this case my friend needs help, I don't want to tell him I'm using a site to help them (since I'm not too good at relationship help and if you know them good enough, they will never make a website on here for help, I'm on the front lines) but yeah jus trying to gain some inputs and responses from u guys so I know what u guys went thru and how u coped with that pain etc.

Sorry, but are you asking supposedly hypothetical questions for friends then attacking respondents when you disagree with their responses? Not sure what you are driving at?

I think the moderator has asked her/him to as their friend to open up an account instead of her/him asking the question as it will confuse others. Kaijulevel5 seems to have taken it the wrong way.

So you are pawning off the advice of ENA members as your own?

It's like I'm posting situations that people may go through and in this case my friend needs help, I don't want to tell him I'm using a site to help them since I'm not too good at relationship help

So you are pawning off the advice of ENA members as your own?

I'm not pawning off anybody's responses. If these have been posted already than sorry. I didn't bother to look as all people have different situations....I jus thought this would help if I post sometimes what I go thru in relationship or advice in general and I need help or I help others since I get advice. It's common sense guys cmon. It's simple, I jus want help.

Yep, with my recent ex. I gave chance after chance for 2 years. Way too many to count. It did hurt, but I thought it would hurt worse to lose him. I finally did reach the point of having had it. The last straw was when he told me about a girl he liked and had probably cheated with, but I was working my way up to dropping him for other reasons before that. Dropping him for the final straw wasn't painless, though, by any means, even though I had had enough. This was almost 2 months ago, and I'm still having a really hard time with it all.

Sorry to hear u had to go thru that. That's hardest part, letting go of someone love. I'm goin thru it right now and it sucks.

Sorry to hear u had to go thru that. That's hardest part, letting go of someone love. I'm goin thru it right now and it sucks.

Thank you. It does suck, and I'm sorry you're going through it too. I'm on these boards all the time, just for something to take my mind off it and read about other people's situations. So I understand your being here and making threads.

Hey guys, here's a situation. please don't state the obvious but explain it in a way you would to someone who's goin' through that issue. In this case, my friend. Posting on his behalf lol I post situations not only to benefit those who are in need but also help out future lovers when they read this post. anyways Let's say a guy and girl fell in love, guy did something idiotic but the girl gave him a chance. Why would a girl (or guy in any relationship) give them so many chances after 4-9 times of making mistakes?

No self esteem.

No self esteem.

Thanks for your input.

Thank you. It does suck, and I'm sorry you're going through it too. I'm on these boards all the time, just for something to take my mind off it and read about other people's situations. So I understand your being here and making threads.

Yeah kinda the same reason I'm on here to keep my mind off it and sometimes because people have their own unique situations, I figured I'd ask and it's good to know I'm not the only one goin thru this. Happy when everyone tells me their stories and experiences, so should anybody close to me need help I'll say they aren't the only ones for thru it etc.and so forth. I'm not an expert at love so yeah

Yeah kinda the same reason I'm on here to keep my mind off it and sometimes because people have their own unique situations, I figured I'd ask and it's good to know I'm not the only one goin thru this. Happy when everyone tells me their stories and experiences, so should anybody close to me need help I'll say they aren't the only ones for thru it etc.and so forth. I'm not an expert at love so yeah

I agree that you can learn a lot here. Even just by reading all the other threads. I hope to take everything I've learned into my next relationship experiences. I'm no expert at love either; in fact, I'm really really bad at it. So I feel ya!

yeah. Goodluck and like they said, we all go through trials til we find the right one corny i know lol

Posting for your friend...... *wink, wink* suuuurrrrree you are. Tell your friend it's all gonna be OK.

Posting for your friend...... *wink, wink* suuuurrrrree you are. Tell your friend it's all gonna be OK.

haha you don't have to believe me, that's fine.