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Husband Won't Go Down on Me


carmen21

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SO.....when we first started dating I gave him oral and he didn't return, I never had oral from a guy, or a girl,,lol,,,but I just thought since we were boyfriend/girlfriend we would do that, nope. So we were boyfriend/girlfriend for 3 years before getting married. In that time he only went down on me twice. I could tell that wasn't his thing. It wasn't good. I didn't see what the hype was about. We have now been married for 3 years and he only went down on me once. He said it's not his thing, but he will be quick to put his penis in my mouth and I say no. So we haven't went down on each other in a year. I asked if he's cheating on me and he's says no. I don't know what man will not want his woman giving him oral sex and vice versa. Am I overreacting? Im just trying to spice up our marriage. I'm thinking I won't have sexual intercourse at all until he does it at least 5 times or tell me what's wrong? I even asked him If my odor was smelly he said no. I even shave so I don't know the issue. I am very beautiful and still young (25). Should I accept this? Am I over-reacting?

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Some guys just don't. I've never understood it. I love it personally. Some women don't like oral either, but I've never found a woman who wasn't up for the trade.

 

Have you tried some chocolate syrup or honey? Maple syrup? There are some flavors that can be added that are fun. I once had a woman who liked to grab my head and force me in there, and I didn't like that roughness because I felt I couldn't breathe. Sorry, not trying to get graphic... just saying maybe if/when he finally does go down on you, let him be in control. Of course it's okay to be into it, but you might have to ease him into the idea.

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Great ideas of using different flavors...but he's not the type to put anything down there, but it's worth a shot. I've never forced his head down there I just asked and he's not into it. Thanks.

 

 

Some guys just don't. I've never understood it. I love it personally. Some women don't like oral either, but I've never found a woman who wasn't up for the trade.

 

Have you tried some chocolate syrup or honey? Maple syrup? There are some flavors that can be added that are fun. I once had a woman who liked to grab my head and force me in there, and I didn't like that roughness because I felt I couldn't breathe. Sorry, not trying to get graphic... just saying maybe if/when he finally does go down on you, let him be in control. Of course it's okay to be into it, but you might have to ease him into the idea.

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I've never tried maple btw, that was a bit of a joke. But I have used chocolate syrup and honey plenty of times and it's great. I prefer honey because it is the thickest and lasts the longest.

 

In regards to the orgasm... and I'm sure the women on the board will be of more help... but do you have any toys? I once had a g/f who would get off on the flow of water from the bathtub. Not exactly sure how she did that, but I always knew when she was in the bathroom with the water running for a long time that's what she was doing.

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Many women do not orgasm, and certainly not if they are only getting regular sex.

 

If your husband is only having intercourse with you, then he is an incredibly selfish lover, and e does not give a damn about your needs. What's wrong with him!!!! Are you prepared to deal with sixty more years of this? How horrible!

 

Either he learns how to pleasure you, or I would be out of there!

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I've also never had an orgasm. Is there something wrong with me??? So no, we just have regular sex.

 

Ok... Getting a little personal here but you've never had an orgasm? Even by yourself? Does clitoral or vaginal stimulation turn you on more? Maybe telling him and directing him toward either of those directions? And if he sees how much it may turn you on, it could be a start.

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Many women - Google this, I think it is most women, require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. That is possible while having penis in the vagina sex, but only if your H is knowledgeable and intentional about doing it.

 

I wonder if he feels insecure and therefore won't do it.

 

I don't think you should withhold sex to get it; that enhances the feeling of you two being on opposite sides. The goal is to expand your sexual language together. To make this a joint project.

 

If he is willing, I would make it into a game. 5 minutes, and you will say what feels good, help him learn. After five minutes, he gets .... whatever you come up with. I feel like it shouldn't be oral as a reward, but I'm not sure why.

 

If he isn't willing to figure out how to improve your sexual experience, that suggests a worse problem. Your marriage depends on your ability to resolve issues as a team.

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I've never tried maple btw, that was a bit of a joke. But I have used chocolate syrup and honey plenty of times and it's great. I prefer honey because it is the thickest and lasts the longest.

 

You've used these on your girl's vagina/vulva? And they didn't end up with a raging yeast infection?

 

Sugars in/on the vagina can feed yeast. Even the glycerin in many lubes can cause this problem.

 

I also don't think there should be a power struggle around this. "I won't do this until you do that". That's a prescription for creating resentment on both sides. Do you really want your husband to be doing something because he's been punished, or because he really wants to do it? I'm not into the t.it for tat game in the bedroom.

 

The clitoris is more sensitive than the head of the penis, with 8,000 nerve endings. It is the seat of pleasure for women, and so it does not make sense that having a warm, wet tongue applying the right pressure in the right rhythm would not produce an orgasm. The women who say "oral is not for me" either have not had it done right before, or they have self-consciousness issues that do not allow them to let go and get into it. Or both. It's like if you were to stroke the head of a man's penis with a warm, lubricated hand or mouth and he'd say, "It's not for me."

 

The best thing OP, is for you to start experimenting with touching yourself. Also, search on youtube for "OMing". Worth a watch.

 

I must say though, I do have to wonder how it is that people marry when they already see some writing on the wall that sexually, they are not going to get what they wanted to, before they even tie the knot.

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There is nothing wrong with you. Remember that.

 

Intimacy is very important in any relationship. Sexual intimacy brings couples close because there is a level of vulnerability where you are totally open to your partner and have to trust them fully.

 

It sounds like your sex life is very job like. The job gets done but that is about it.

 

How much have you actually talked to him about this? I mean when you are both clothed and not in bed. Try talking to him and explain how important a healthy sex life is to you and your relationship. If he is a selfish lover that is another level of problem.

 

I would say learn how to give yourself an orgasm so you can help him learn how to pleasure you. You cannot expect him to figure this out all on his own.

 

Personally I actually enjoy giving more than receiving but everyone is different. Try being open and actually talk about your sex life out of the bedroom. That way you both will know where you stand and not be guessing.

 

Lost

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I don't go down on women. Sorry. The texture, the taste (even with the best of hygiene), everything... it's just gross to me.

 

But women I date know this from pretty much the beginning of the sexual aspect of our relationship. They also know I don't expect them to go down on me. Only fair, right?

 

I'm very lucky in that of the 8 or so sexual partners I've ever had, I've been able to make them orgasm through penetration. I'd fully understand if a woman needed a man who would go down on them. But I'm simply not that guy. If you needed that guy, you should have figured it out well before you exchanged vows.

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You've used these on your girl's vagina/vulva? And they didn't end up with a raging yeast infection?

 

Sugars in/on the vagina can feed yeast. Even the glycerin in many lubes can cause this problem.

 

Huh, never heard of that before. No problems, no complaints. Of course, they aren't on there for very long either.

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