CopperFire Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Df girls 11 and 14 live in Ireland and we are in the United States Georgia. He tells me he won't see me for Christmas because he has to go get his girls on the 22nd of December in Washington D.C.. Says the girls can only fly so many hours alone so that's where he has to meet them. That's a 9 hour 600 mile drive he is going on. He will not be back till the 2nd of January. Is this true or not? That his girls can only fly so many hours and that's it. There's other things that have been going on that are catching my attention that he is doing. But ex husband oldest dad said it's not true he's pulling your leg. Advice please and thank you. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I think it really depends on the country and the airline carrier. Another concern is at customs, that the child would have to sign legal documents on their own. I think it probably makes life easier if he goes and gets them and returns them himself. The 14 year old is probably old enough to fly alone, but not to act as a "guardian" for the 11 year old. Here is some information from the department of transportation. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 My dad was not there to pick me up at an airport when I was 13 let me tell you what a CRAPTASTIC experience that was. His children deserve to be picked up at the airport by their father. Anyone that would not pick up their children flying into another country doesn't even deserve their kids. I'm glad he will be picking his children up. Link to comment
CopperFire Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 My dad was not there to pick me up at an airport when I was 13 let me tell you what a CRAPTASTIC experience that was. His children deserve to be picked up at the airport by their father. Anyone that would not pick up their children flying into another country doesn't even deserve their kids. I'm glad he will be picking his children up. What I was asking was is what he is saying is true or not? Can they only fly so long is that a lie or not. Other things have been happening that are making me question in my head. They are his kids his responsibility and I understand he needs to be there for them. But is what he is saying about them being on for a certain amount of time true or not. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 So wait, I am a little confused - are they staying in DC the entire time and they are not going back to Georgia with him for the holidays? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 No clue as I am not Irish nor American. And I don't know what carrier they are flying. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 What I was asking was is what he is saying is true or not? Can they only fly so long is that a lie or not. Other things have been happening that are making me question in my head. They are his kids his responsibility and I understand he needs to be there for them. But is what he is saying about them being on for a certain amount of time true or not. Again, it will really depend on the carrier and what their rules are on unaccompanied minors. It could also be that he knows their temperment/sense of responsibility and knows that they would not do well with gate/terminal changes so that is why he is picking them up from DC as opposed to having them continue onto Atlanta. Link to comment
CopperFire Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 So wait, I am a little confused - are they staying in DC the entire time and they are not going back to Georgia with him for the holidays? Yes staying in Washington D.C. He says he may or may night call me. He might be too busy with them. Link to comment
CopperFire Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 Again, it will really depend on the carrier and what their rules are on unaccompanied minors. It could also be that he knows their temperment/sense of responsibility and knows that they would not do well with gate/terminal changes so that is why he is picking them up from DC as opposed to having them continue onto Atlanta. He says they can't fly no further that it's the rules. Which baffles me because I flew alone when I was 13 on a overnight flight. Confused. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 and he's your fiancé? I agree that something seems very fishy. Have you met his girls? and why is he not returning to Georgia for xmas? Does he have other family in DC? Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Well, again, it depends on the carrier. 12 is a cutoff age for some carriers so the 11 year-old can't go. Also, a direct overnight flight is different than a multi-stop international flight. I'm confused why he didn't just find a direct flight to Atlanta for the girls, unless they wanted to have a trip to DC? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 My guess is he has two school aged kids who live an ocean away and maybe he wants to be alone with them since most likely he sees them once a year. In a previous post you said you do not want to be involved with someone else's kids so he made his arrangements. Link to comment
CopperFire Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 and he's your fiancé? I agree that something seems very fishy. Have you met his girls? and why is he not returning to Georgia for xmas? Does he have other family in DC? All his family is in Ireland. No one lives here in the U.S. haven't met his girls yet no still waiting. We've been together for ten months so. He says it's forever but I've been questioning things that have been going on lately. Have no clue why he's not. I normally see him on Saturday evenings to Sunday afternoon. Well lately it's been Saturday 7 p.m to Sunday 9 a.m. He says he's swamped at work car mechanic/car dealer. But why is he the only one working on Sundays. Twice now he has cancelled our weekend plans at the last minute saying work is packed. Like this weekend he cancelled so my oldest dad (ex husband) took our kids, my sister, and I out Christmas shopping to make me feel better. Calls me at night when he's in bed usually lasts from 7 to 16 minutes. That's it occasionally texts during the day. Won't pick up if I call him and a bunch of other things. Link to comment
CopperFire Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 My guess is he has two school aged kids who live an ocean away and maybe he wants to be alone with them since most likely he sees them once a year. In a previous post you said you do not want to be involved with someone else's kids so he made his arrangements. Just go elsewhere I'm not dealing with your attitude. We both agree on our kids that's our decision. That's not the issue . Issue is he is acting like he's hiding something. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 What attitude? Maybe the guy just wants to see his kids? People are entitled to answer on any thread they want. Link to comment
Helpexpressme Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 If your gut is telling you it's not true, than it probably isn't. Ring the airlines and ask. Also, getting upset at other members who offer advice isn't the way. Link to comment
annie24 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I don't know if he is dodging you or not. Even if we assume that he wants to have a fun trip to DC with his girls, I don't understand why he'd tell you in advance he'd have no time to talk to you. I know it must be hard if his daughters don't know he has a new gf and maybe he doesn't want to upset them. I really don't know. If you want a boyfriend that's more accessible and has more time to spend together, you should find someone else. Link to comment
journeynow Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Says the girls can only fly so many hours alone so that's where he has to meet them. Flight rules?…might be the airlines, might be in the divorce agreement, might be his rules for the well-being of his children, might be a promise he's made to them or their mother…I don't know, but they are not bad rules to observe. The kids are traveling a long way and he's making an effort to meet them partway in a sense. And DC is a good place for them to visit during their trip to the US. I don't see it as an issue for concern or distrust. Link to comment
journeynow Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Rules may vary per airline, age of children, international vs. domestic flights. For example, this might apply to the 11 year old: Unaccompanied minors ages 5 to 7 are allowed only on nonstop flights; those ages 8 to 11 are allowed on connecting flights, but not when the connection would require an overnight stay. There are different factors to consider, different airlines, arrival times, etc. Link to comment
Lisii Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 My kids have flown on international flights alone since the youngest was 6 yrs (he's 13 now). Various Intl carriers (only ever one stop over). All carriers are different (could you imagine the implications if a child was lost or harassed on a flight) I flew alone at 11yrs on-wards from NZ to Europe with a various stopovers in Asia, even with over night stop overs I only had airport minders the whole time never needed family to intervene. Things maybe different in the US, and things are a lot more stringent with possible terrorism now a days, I prefer to have someone at each port. It's a parenting thing (as Annie said), I know what my kids limits are and know when it calls for one of us to travel with them. Maybe he just wants time alone with his kids - it's feasible. Talk to him without accusation maybe meet him in DC on the 1st?? Link to comment
sara-pezzini Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Just go elsewhere I'm not dealing with your attitude. We both agree on our kids that's our decision. That's not the issue . Issue is he is acting like he's hiding something. I don't know airline rules but i think regardless you're not his priority based on this and on your other thread. And I'm sorry because i know that hurts! But there is no need to attack victoria like that because she is one of the sweetest and most helpful posters on here! Link to comment
Lisii Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Just go elsewhere I'm not dealing with your attitude. We both agree on our kids that's our decision. That's not the issue . Issue is he is acting like he's hiding something. Ouch. Time to reflect, Victoria is only trying to help, and she has a raised a valid point. Maybe the vibe is that he protective of his children. Ireland is a long way away and he has a lot of catching up to do with his kidlets, you are certainly not going to be his priority at this time, and it would be unfair to expect to be more. Most parents put their kids before anything and anyone, especially if there is limited contact and at a magical time like Christmas. Sorry if it hurts, but you have to understand, it's not so much about the holidays for him, more the bonding time with his kids. We are only trying to help. Like I said before, maybe suggest to him you meet them in DC for a couple of days in the new year?? Link to comment
toby17 Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 I don't think there's any reason he has to go to DC to meet them. However, if he wants to, I think that's fair enough. But if he's your fiance, I think it's a little strange that he doesn't want to spend the holidays with you and his kids, or that he doesn't want to introduce them to you. normally see him on Saturday evenings to Sunday afternoon. Well lately it's been Saturday 7 p.m to Sunday 9 a.m. However, to me the most disturbing thing is the fact that you only see him once a week for little more than 12 hours. Twice now he has cancelled our weekend plans at the last minute saying work is packed. Like this weekend he cancelled so my oldest dad (ex husband) took our kids, my sister, and I out Christmas shopping to make me feel better. This relationship is already making you feel like crap. Yes staying in Washington D.C. He says he may or may night call me. He might be too busy with them. And he's doesn't care or care to make an effort. You need to flush! Link to comment
CopperFire Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 I don't think there's any reason he has to go to DC to meet them. However, if he wants to, I think that's fair enough. But if he's your fiance, I think it's a little strange that he doesn't want to spend the holidays with you and his kids, or that he doesn't want to introduce them to you. However, to me the most disturbing thing is the fact that you only see him once a week for little more than 12 hours. This relationship is already making you feel like crap. And he's doesn't care or care to make an effort. You need to flush! I've Skype with his kids a few times that's about it. He has might my kids twice so far. I try to keep them distance until I'm sure. Yes I am feeling like crap. A few of friends started singing that song by old dominion break up with him to me. Maybe it is time for a serious talk again. Thank you Link to comment
CopperFire Posted December 7, 2015 Author Share Posted December 7, 2015 Ouch. Time to reflect, Victoria is only trying to help, and she has a raised a valid point. Maybe the vibe is that he protective of his children. Ireland is a long way away and he has a lot of catching up to do with his kidlets, you are certainly not going to be his priority at this time, and it would be unfair to expect to be more. Most parents put their kids before anything and anyone, especially if there is limited contact and at a magical time like Christmas. Sorry if it hurts, but you have to understand, it's not so much about the holidays for him, more the bonding time with his kids. We are only trying to help. Like I said before, maybe suggest to him you meet them in DC for a couple of days in the new year?? I cannot drive due to being epileptic. My family, friends, and ex husband take turns bringing wherever I need to go. I will apologize to Victoria it was my fault not hers. I have a lot stress going on not just this but my son in and out of the drs. I shouldn't have taken it out on her. Smh I understand it's the bonding and yes I've Skype a few times with his girls . I'm just starting to feel very left out. A think a serious one on one is on hand. Link to comment
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