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Thread: The magic of a movie: inspiring or ...?

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    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    The magic of a movie: inspiring or ...?

    My first semester at college was one of the most difficult times ever in my life. I went home every weekend, and when I did, my father and I would watch the same movie. It gave me hope and inspiration during that time. (I'm not going to say which it is, because I'd rather not end up reading someone else's opinion on it.)

    Obviously, I still love & adore that movie. And sometimes when I feel like doing something out of the norm for me, I feel like I'm betraying that movie in some way.

    [B][U]Example A guy friend I've known for awhile might be visiting me next week. We've been keeping in touch, and have been flirty. I've thought about what it would be like to have a one-night stand with him.

    ...and when I think of my movie, I feel guilty for wanting to do that.

    [U][B]A "lighter" example One time, I was craving a Bic Mac really badly. But thinking of another one of my cherished movies made me feel bad about wanting to eat something so unhealthy. (I eventually just relaxed and let myself have it, lol. But the idea is the same.)

    It's almost like the movie reminds me of who I am and what I stand for. But a part of me also suspects that perhaps that's not healthy in a way...like the movie is keeping me from growing up somehow. (Which side is right? Or are both legit?)

    Thank you,
    Tulipwriter

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    It's not the movie that's doing anything. It's your choice to focus on the movie to an extent that you make choices based on it. The movie has no control over choices but you are a human being and you can choose to tell yourself, as appropriate, that it doesn't make sense for a movie to dictate what you do or don't do. My guess is that you're blaming the movie instead of making a choice as to how to behave because it's easier to blame a movie than to take responsibility for your own choices.

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    Forum Supporter ~Seraphim ~'s Avatar
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    Three words: COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPY.

    You are not the movie and the movie is not you.

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    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Batya33
    My guess is that you're blaming the movie instead of making a choice as to how to behave because it's easier to blame a movie than to take responsibility for your own choices.
    Well I wouldn't call it "blaming," lol. But I see what you're saying.

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    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Victoria66
    Three words: COGNITIVE BEHAVIOUR THERAPY.

    You are not the movie and the movie is not you.
    Can you explain more, please?

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    They use it to change maladaptive beliefs and thinking patterns.

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    Blaming -you are claiming it is the movie that is "making" you feel a certain way and making you make certain choices. It's not the movie. It's all you. Which is the good news. The hard part that comes with the ability to make choices is that then you can no longer blame others (whether other people or other things -or movies) for why you make certain choices.

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    Gold Member TulipWriter's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Victoria66
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    They use it to change maladaptive beliefs and thinking patterns.
    I did look it up after you posted that. So obviously, you're saying that's what I need?

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    I have no idea. That would be up to a dr or therapist. But being controlled by a movie is not a healthy way to have a life. A movie has no feelings ,a movie cannot be betrayed. You are projecting human emotions onto an inanimate object.

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    Platinum Member Jennifer89's Avatar
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    I think it's normal for you to want the life that someone else has, which is basically what you are doing when you want to be like the people in that movie. But you are taking it too far: you are not living your own life because you feel like fictional characters would not approve. If this was trying to make your friends/parents/teacher etc proud, it would be different. But you are trying to make fictional characters in a movie proud. If you feel as if these characters are moral and you want to be like them, fine. But don't deny yourself what makes you happy in order to pretend like you are someone else. Have sex if it seems right next week, eat food when you are hungry (even bad food). Live your life to make YOURSELF proud, not someone else.

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