"when you know, you know"

So I've gotten a lot of this statement from people lately. I've gotten nothing but overwhelming support from everyone about my engagement, when really I expected a lot of "wow, but it's so fast!" We've known each other just 8 months, but 8 wonderful months, so I expected that above all else.

But everyone has said congrats and how happy they are that I'm happy and instead of remarks about "it's so fast", I've gotten a lot of "when you know, you know". And that makes me happy to hear how supportive everyone is!

Makes me wonder though: has anyone had this overwhelming feeling of "knowing" they're the one? Mostly asking for lots of married people's advice, but of course, all are welcome to answer. And to divorced people: did you feel the same feeling of just "knowing"?

I knew he was the one a month into it. It was overwhelming. I freaked out some about 3 weeks into it, thinking I wasn't ready for a relationship, but I think honestly it was a lot of fear of getting into something I'd never gotten into before (namely a GOOD relationship!).

Thoughts?

Yeh I think when you know then you really DO know. Having some doubts or feeling overwhelmed is just natural I think.

I think that line is soooo true, you do know when you know. I always wondered about it, but since my fiance and I have been together, I just KNOW. You can't even explain it if you want to. You just know that you want to be with the person forever, and there's just no hesitation. At all. Isn't it weird? But so awesome! Hers do you find it hard to explain how you feel?

Yes, I do!! I just want to scream from the rooftops "I love being in love!!"

A long time ago, when my sister was thinking of marrying her now husband, she asked my aunt and uncle, who are an amazing couple still very much in love at 25 years of marriage, how they knew and my uncle just said "I found the person I wanted to come home to every night". I've sort of always looked at it like that too. Can I be excited to come home to this person at night? With Jared, I can.

I've been in LTR's before. I was even "engaged" at 18 (a smuch as one can be engaged at 18) and I still never felt like that with those guys. I always learned to get annoyed and almost hateful to them, even a few months in. With Jared, as much as his little quirks can sometimes get under my skin sometimes, I look at his other traits and just want to hold him forever b/c of them. I can't explain it, really. You're right, savagegirl!

Yes, I know exactly how you feel Hers.

Yes, I do believe in the "when you know you know" statement. I knew the first time I met Longpants in person, we had been talking for about a year at that point, so we new each other pretty well, but you can't really "know" until you are face to face. Even now, 3 years and 1 child later, I know this is the man I am going to come home to for the rest of my life... and that makes me happier than I have ever been in my life. It is very hard to explain or describe unless you feel it yourself. It's just a "knowing".

When you know, you know. I've been engaged three months now. And only together 7.

You are getting engaged?! Congrats hers!! That is news to me.

Haha yes, iag, we got engaged a few weeks ago!

I know just as many happy couples who claimed to "just know" as those couples who said that they had doubts at times, used both their head and heart to make their decision, etc. I also know many couples, now exes who "just knew" and broke up for the very things they knew about from day one (or two). I think the "you know when you know" advice that people give to people who are trying to figure out the direction a relationship should head are giving unhelpful and bad advice, most of the time.

I had a number of just knowing times with my husband, early on - and I too felt overwhelmed/scared at times but the bond and the foundation of our relationship were so strong that those doubts didn't affect my (our) commitment.

One of the most all encompassing and strongest "just knowing" was when I took my marriage vows. What equaled that was our first kiss when we got back together (after having been broken up for 8 years) - it was that kind of lightning bolt that screamed "I HAVE to marry this man". Lust? Oh, probably in part. but most definitely not all lust.

I don't think 8 months is that fast by the way and I am so glad people are being supportive.

Me and my girl have been dating for 4 months. We knew immediately. We both have been married before, and neither of us felt like we knew with our exes, even while married.

Yep, you know.

I thought I 'knew' when I was younger, with boyfriends that I very much wanted to have a fantasy future with.

But having met my boyfriend, the difference is incredible. I have these moments sometimes when I love him so much, even times when I'm not with him and just thinking about him, I have to call him and tell him I'm crazy about him, and he does the same thing that for me is part of really knowing that he's the one. I've never had those sudden bursts of happiness with anyone else before, even at the happiest moments of my previous relationships. We've been together a year and it feels like no time at all, and at the same time like we've known each other all our lives.

He drives me crazy sometimes. But then, I never feel like it's the end of the world when we fight or disagree, like I have with other men - I know we'll talk about it and work it out. With other guys I've always felt so anxious about any differences of opinion.

I think my boyfriend is the one for me. With my previous exes, I never once thought we would even make it to 1 year together (and we didn't, longest relationship lasted 6 months), never mind pictured myself marrying them. With my current boyfriend though, I've known since about a month into the relationship that the relationship would be serious, long term and had marriage potential. We've been together almost 4 years now and time will tell if we end up getting married since we are still young.

We were young and immature when we started dating (at 16) but I know our love is real and not simply puppy love. My parents are my inspiration, they went to the same high school and met when my mom was 14 and my dad was 17. Started dating when my mom turned 18 (my dad was very respectful of the age difference, ha) and married when my mom was 24 and my dad was 27. They are my proof that teenage relationships can and do make it, and that just because we were young when we started dating doesn't mean our love isn't real.

I hope I'm not jinxing things by saying this, but I feel that way about my b/f too. I think I knew it about three months in. It was just a gradual feeling that dawned on me, the more time we spent together and the more comfortable I felt around him. I still have occasional doubts, fears and insecurities, but mostly I just think he is The One. We're compatible on so many levels. I have no desire to be with anyone else and he is equally committed to me.

We've already talked about our desire to be together forever. But I really long for the day when we get engaged and married. I guess time will tell. In the meantime I'm taking things one day at a time. This weekend is our six month anniversary.

Congratulations, Hersmudders!

Thanks, all, for the replies. We're planning our wedding right now but mostly I'm so excited for the marriage--being married to him and sharing our lives together. I always looked at weddings as the marriage but since falling in love with him, I've totally been able to separate the two.

We're planning our wedding right now but mostly I'm so excited for the marriage--being married to him and sharing our lives together.

It sounds like soooo much fun. I am envious!

Enjoy these wonderful days of getting all of your plans together... good luck with the wedding, too! It sounds like you found a really nice guy!

I'm not married yet(I'm 23). I've been with my guy since my senior year of high school. Odd to say on our first date I KNEW I was going to marry him. And we will get married--not right away but in a couple of years. I don't know how I knew, but just this "feeling" I've gotten. Not to say there hasn't been times where I've had doubts--because I have but overall no matter what issues we've had we've worked through them and we have a very strong fulfilling relationship. He is my best friend, and everything I'd like in a husband and one day a father.

Good luck on your wedding and congrats.

I felt that way when I first met my boyfriend. We started dating after being friends for 10 months. For about the first year, I knew--for certain--that I wanted to marry him. We didn't even so much as fight for 1.5 years.

Now, 1.5 years after that (we've been dating for 3 years and 4 months, living together for more than 2 years), I can say that those initial feelings of blissful certitude are a product of being in the "honeymoon" stage. I have always loved my boyfriend, but there have been times where I have "fallen out of love" with him. He has always been my partner and my friend, but there have been times when I've had to look at what exactly it means to me to be married and how I knew I could live my life with him--let alone any one person.

I believe that (because of how close we are and because of the fact that we've lived together for so long) we've been experiencing what married couples experience in their first couple years of marriage. We are really compatible, and the friendship and emotional bond we share is still there and brings us joy, but what I've discovered is that finding a person you'd like to marry is more about finding a partner to work through life with rather than finding your "romeo".

Anyways: I know that's not what the OP asked, and I'm not some veteran married woman. But, to recap, I think that "knowing" (at least so early into the timeline of your relationship/knowing one another) is half myth, half being in the warm and fuzzy honeymoon stage of still really starting to learn about one another and delve into each other--kind of like the idea of "the one". Now, that being said, I think it's GREAT that you've got these feelings, because they will (hopefully) tide you over while you deal with the trials and tribulations of learning how to live with another human being full-time once you're married.

My husband and I got engaged within the first six months and married within a year. A year later, I just found out a few weeks ago I'm pregnant! I had the same "when you know, you know". Sometimes I find it disheartening when I share my experiences here and people say they "would never do that" or you can't really know a person that quickly or whatever...it just feels that my experience which is true for me is disregarded. That being said, Hers, you have a lot of friends here and everyone is very happy for you!! Congrats and enjoy every minute it!!

My fiance said that within the first year he just knew.

I don't think for me it was that clear..but as far as I can look back...there was just a feeling of "Yes, I am marrying this man..." It went from just dating and being in a relationship, to one day just knowing that he was the one for me...and my mind has never waivered or changed at all, only gotten stronger over the last 6 years..and for me that just makes me smile more and say "He's definitely it.."

My co-worker has been with her fiance 8 months as well. No one commented it being so fast, and more often than not give her the comments of 'Its meant to be!' [as they were close friends growing up...]

I think the only real difference is when everyone you date is the one! There are people who exclaim early on from lust and infatuation that they are marrying the person, they are the one..type things..and obviously don't end up married...but thats a whole different story!