Hopeful99

I think it is definitely easier for women........go to a bar and watch us guys flock all over them. They just come in........look pretty....and then take their pick of whoever they want....they have it made.

Reading your posts puts a lump in my throat as do some of the others....having gone through a breakup recently I can certainly empathize with how you feel. Actually, your story sounds like me and my ex fiancee from years past. The only thing I can say is a guy like this doesnt deserve all that you have to give. I think he wants you for fear of losing you....when it comes right fdown to it I believe if BOTH of you wanted to make 100% commitment to this you could make it work....it might take counseling, etc but I believe anyhting is possible if 2 people want it. It just sounds like you want it more than he does...your actions prove that. Remember that words, while strong, are only validated by people's actions. Telling someone you love them carries nothing without the actions behind it. I hesitate to say this b/c I do not want to be inapproprate, but you are so beautiful, and you seem so nice and grounded in your life......this guy is losing out. There is someone out there who will embrace everything you are and love you with all of their heart. Keep the faith

Angeleyes, Do not worry - 27 is very young. I am a 41 yr old male - make great $, and most everyone tells me I am very attractive/great guy - yet no marriage. I have been in a couple of longer relationships that did not work out - but we ended up friends so that is good. Like you, I have had a lot of "5-date" relationships - usually end with something like "you are a great guy with lots to offer someone" so I dunno. I constantly hear the questions when I meet women out - it frankly has gotten me very self conscious about it. I almost think it would be better to say I am divorced - people look at me like "what is wrong with you". Anyhow - you are only 27 - that is very young. Sounds like you date a lot so just keep at it and I am sure you will find someone special.

Just a vent here - any comments appreciated - never dealt with a woman like this before and hopefully will never again. Just an update - she finally responded to my card and small gift. She said she was planning on calling me that night - thanked me and told me she was embarrassed that we hadn't spoken for so long....She said that the phrase "when it rains it pours" pretty much summed everything up in her life now but that she wanted to talk to me. This is not the first time she had said she wanted to talk and said she would call. Of course, the phone call never came.......so I called her the next night and left a message. Never heard anything so I texted her the next day and asked if she was OK - given he "rain" comment and asked when she wanted to get together to talk. I just wanted to touch base and talk as I really liked her. She calls later and leaves a message on my home phone (knew I was at work) and basically said she wanted to talk to me at her own pace - thinges were crazy, etc.......and that she felt like I was trying to pin her down to a time and place to talk and that it made her uncomfortable and she thought we should go our own ways for now. I have not and will not contact her again - I just find it amazing to get a dram laden email about how embarrassed she is that we have not talked, etc, and then I make a little effort to get us together and I get blasted for it. Was I inthe wrong?? I honestly was not trying to pin her down.....oh well...her loss.........I have a ton to offer someone and hopefully someone will see that some day. Thanks for listening to my update!

Maybe I am reaching on this..........I was thinking about shooting her a quick text to see if she received my card and tell her i hope all is well. Maybe it got lost in the mail, etc although I know that is not probable. I guess I find it hard to believe she would completely ignore it. Maybe she really is an ungrateful b*tch

Ok...........a bit more information. I had dated someone a few times....it kind of fizzled out, and we traded casual emails every now and then........I sent her a funny card with a small gift card in it for her fav lunch place. Nothing heavy in the card - just gave her special b-day wishes for a special person. I get the feeling she may have met someone else but who knows.......... I DID NOT do it to try and win her affection - just to be nice. Am I wrong in expecting a thank you.........was she offended by it.........I am taking no response as that she thinks very badly of me for doing this.

Just curious on everyone's ideas on etiquette if you received a birthday card and/or present from an ex or someone you used to date. Would you send anything back in the form of acknowledgement or thanks? Or.....would you just accept it and not communicate back? Or....maybe even send it back. Just curious. Thanks for your opinions.

I ran into someone the other night that I had dated a couple of times in the summer. She was very nice and had a lot of great qualities but for some reason, I did not feel "it". I was going through some situations with my ex and had a lot of stress going onback then so that might of had something to do with it.m. Anyhow - we talked for about an hour, then made plans to do lunch later in the week. We went to lunch and had a great time. Gave her a quick kiss good bye and we are going out again. I think I feel something this time around. Why do I feel something this time when I did not feel anything before. Is this common. Just curious as to everyone's thoughts on this.

I have asked. I even stated in my last email to her that I would leave her alone if that is what she wanted. She responded that she didn’t want to get into over email but that she would call me ---again said she would enjoy talking---probably never will call. It is easy to say “not interested” over email – not sure why she cannot be honest. Or…is something else going on?-

I am in my late 30's and I am basically giving up on finding an honest women. Here is the latest example: I met someone who I liked very much. We went out a few times and she told me that she thought I had a lot to offer, that we could talk about anything and always have more to say, I was a great listener, etc. Then she broke a date and called me a couple of days later to apologize for not being "emotionally open" to me. Cited several reasons but asked me to have patience with her. We talked one other time but since then we have only communicated via email. She always tells me in the emails that she wants to talk but then we never do. I guess I have accepted she is not interested but why leave things open ended? Why can't she just tell me she is interested – rather than answering emails, throwing a carrot at the end that she wants to talk sometime………. She knows I have feelings for her so why lead me on? Most of me believes she either met someone else or is not interested……..however part of me hopes she really is confused, going through a bad time and that maybe someday we can talk. Why can't she be honest? I really like her and this is driving me nuts!

Thanks for the reply. I just get the feeling that unfortunately there is something more than just being emotionally unavailable. She has told me a couple of times she would call and then never does - I initiate everything. I have left a couple of messages on her home - no call back! She always responds via email says we will talk - then nothing. Seems like a very immature way to end things for someone her age.

I am in my mid 30's and met a wonderful woman who is also in her mid 30's. She is everything I am looking for – smart, funny, and beautiful. We had gone out 4 times and had great conversation each time. She then called me and apologized for being unable to open up emotionally to me. She cited several reasons including the time of the year, as she said the holidays are very stressful for her due to ex husband issues, things that have happened in the past, etc. She did ask me to have patience with her. Since that discussion, we have only talked on the phone a coupled of times, emailed a few times, and have not seen each other. She always tells me that she enjoys talking and that she would like to talk soon . However, we do not end up talking. I guess I can accept it if she is not interested but why give me the runaround. She know I have feelings for her. I even told her that I would stop contacting her if she did not want to have any contact for whatever reason. She responded that she wanted to chat soon and she would give me a call. She could have taken the easy way out and responded via email for me to not contact her……..why dies she leave everything open ended? Looking for some female perspective her and some advice.