ninjabib
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ninjabib last won the day on February 10 2020
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So her new relationship has failed then?
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Yes, personally I can't understand why you are making yourself so available to her. This is how it will proceed: Eveytime things are going bad with her new bf she will contact you. She will be all sunny and light and nice towards you. This will and clearly is giving her room in your head space as you are on here posting about it. This treatment will also apply if she needs something from you eg when she said she has no one to talk to you offered your services all too readily as her emotional tampon. Of course she has someone to talk to, her new boyfriend. If he is lacking and unable to support in that area that is not your problem but hers and its inappropriate she contacts you about it IMO. When things are going well with her new bf you won't hear a peep from her. If you try and initiate contact with her you will get no response or a very short and curt one at best. This behavior leaves you where you are now. Confused and stuck. You are allowing this behaviour so I am wondering what it is you are confused about?
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Good for you OP. She's just feeling sorry for herself. I imagine her new relationship is over or about to be. Pay no heed. Continue on your path of self-improvement. She's a big girl and she made her choices so let her sit with them. The guilt tripping is standard with a 'grass is greener' type female. They struggle to take responsibility so throw rubbish at other people regarding choices they make. Ignore it. Sounds like things are going well for you. Congrats on the promotion!
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Self Employment:Greater Freedom: Freedom 60
ninjabib replied to Seraphim 's topic in Journals's Journals
Don't push yourself too hard Seraphim! You need to rest up too and recharge your batteries. -
Self Employment:Greater Freedom: Freedom 60
ninjabib replied to Seraphim 's topic in Journals's Journals
Sounds like things are going well! Congrats :) -
Ok, all the best OP :)
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Well there is no correct way maybe I should have phrased that better. What I mean is you have picked yourself up on the floor and started improving and moving on with your life. That is how you heal from a breakup to my mind. Today's talk and visit is much of the same. Trying to keep you hanging on as backup in case the new guy doesn't work out. Again little concern or respect for your wishes. Its all about her. Her anger is her ego lashing out. She can't understand how you have gone from someone who wanted her back and was clear with that to a guy moving on with his life. She's lost her hold over you and she's more than aware of it. Again, she's not thinking of you but herself. As for your sport/training you should not give it up but I find it hard to believe there is not a single other place it could be done?
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You've done the right thing and good on for you not giving into her childish attempts at foricing you to communicate by emotionally blackmailing you. You have requested space and NC and she kept trying to break it. Very disrespectful on her part. It's vital for your own healing that you continue on the path you are on. She wants to have her cake and eat it, by this i mean keep you and her new BF in her life. She chose this life with her new BF so now she needs to own it. From what i see you dong everything correctly, keep it up and within a month or 2 you will be so much better off. Well done to you. Personally i'd also let go of any hope of reconcilliation as well.
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Ok, on my part i must point out i've never been married so i'm not sure how the legality of it all works if it comes crumbling down. Possible naivety shown on my part. Just try not to let things get too nasty if that's possible, it will just ruin the good memories. Wish you all the best.
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I agree you should be taking control of your situation and getting yourself legally represented in the best way but speaking to friends etc about it doesn't help i feel. Even if they contact you. You can end this and resolve this all without turning it into such a battle/fight. If she chose to end the relationship then it's right that she no longer receives your financial or emotional support and your existing shared debts should be shared 50/50. There is just a bit too much anger remaining which i can kind of understand but you need to rise above that and just sort it all out with civility and professionally. It's coming across not that you are protecting your own interests but more that you want to hurt her. Regarding some of those building yourself up/break up pointers i agree with some of that as a fellow male, a womans love being conditional is true but the truth is all human love is conditional, men and women. NOne of us are forced to stay with someone we don't love anymore. When we are unhappy we leave eventually but i'm guessing what that statement is saying is when a man gets ill his partner will leave which from friends and personal experience is true but you cannot say that about all women. It just means you picked a poor one. To hold that view about all women is unhealthy.
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Self Employment:Greater Freedom: Freedom 60
ninjabib replied to Seraphim 's topic in Journals's Journals
Seraphim i haven't read ALL 60 pages but it seems like things are better for you now than at the start and i'm glad your business is going well! -
6 months in, feeling great. She contacted me in August , via a mutual friend, under the pretence of "building bridges". When i politely declined she went bat crazy again. Last week heard a few things about her that also made me think good riddance. I would prefer never to see her again but we have many mutual friends so i guess its just a matter of time.
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Post here instead of contacting your ex!
ninjabib replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
As for my ex stop texting me, i'm over you, i told you 2 months to never contact me again and still you do. For 4.5 years i supported you through your mental health issues but when i had a bad 5/6 weeks with my first incident due to a work accident you sacked me off. Through therapy for PTSD im beginning to feel better and re-discovering my self respect i lost when my head got smashed in. You are selfish and self centered. You are less than worthless to me. -
Post here instead of contacting your ex!
ninjabib replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Called you son retarded? Wow what a house. Never speak to him again. -
Post here instead of contacting your ex!
ninjabib replied to Nynnja's topic in Healing After Break Up or Divorce
Was doing well but had to talk about the last 5/6 weeks of the relationship in my therapy session today and now i'm gutted again. Gutted we are over and gutted i treated you insconsiderately