How can someone know if their partner is emotionally available for a committed relationship?

Long-distance relationships test the strength and resilience of couples, who rely on communication to create bonds between two people separated by great distances. The endless miles can create communication barriers that lead to distance, insecurity and doubt if not addressed with effective strategies. Here are some strategies for overcoming communication barriers in a long-distance relationship:

1. Communicate Deliberately: In order to stay connected, be deliberate about communication. Use whatever means necessary to touch base regularly and often, utilizing text messages, emails, phone calls and even video calls. Setting up regular times to call each other helps to ensure there is time to connect each week. Don’t just limit communication to emotional outpourings or philosophical discussions. Talking about mundane topics like what you ate for breakfast, what you're watching on tv, or even silly jokes that crack you both up will bring emotional closeness and reinforce your connection.

2. Practical Care: Practical care for long-distance relations is essential for fighting feelings of isolation and strengthening emotional connections. Supporting your partner via gifts and little surprises shows that you’re still actively involved in their life. For example, mail them their favorite candy from across town or send surprise flowers or tickets to an event. Being practical aside from emotional contact will help nourish the connection between you and give your partner a lasting reminder of your commitment and love.

3. Make Time Together Special: Whenever possible, set aside quality time to spend together. Making plans together sends the message “you are my priority,” even when you can’t physically be together. Prioritizing quality time can be done during phone calls by making conversation a top priority and avoiding distractions while on the call. When planning longer visits, surprise each other with small tokens that represent the place of visits, such as a key chain, some kind of keepsake, etc.

4. Ask Open Questions: Open-ended questions open a window into each other’s feelings and thoughts. Some examples of open ended questions include “how was your day/week?”, “what was the best part of it?”, “what inspired you?” and “what important experience or moment did you have today?” Asking each other these questions initiates conversations that provoke thought and encourage understanding.

5. Shorten Distance with Technology: Technology can be used to bridge the gap between long-distance couples. Using technology, like sending photos and videos, can help to bring the relationship back to a place of familiarity and bring positive aftereffects. Additionally, meet-up apps keep you updated on each other’s location and can be used to facilitate spontaneous dates.

By addressing communication barriers in a long-distance relationship, couples can take steps to ensure that their relationship endures. Despite the difficulties in maintaining a long-distance relationship, with patience, understanding and diligence, a couple can maintain a deeper connection than ever before.