Breaking Up with a 'Work Buddy': How to Overcome Resentment of Unwanted Generosity

Do you dread going out with your work buddy? Do you find it increasingly difficult to hide your resentment as they pull out their wallets or purse every time the bill comes? It’s understandable that in all likelihood, your feelings towards them and the situation are growing toxic.

Having a friend at work is a great advantage in the long haul. Having a friend who insists on paying and demonstrating their generosity can seem like it’s doing more harm than good. If the situation starts to turn sour and the feeling of resentment grows, it's likely that it needs to be addressed sooner rather than later. In this article, we’ll discuss how to navigate through this sticky workplace situation an look for ways to move forward.

It can help to ask yourself about the reasons behind the behavior: is your work buddy genuinely just being nice or do they have other motivations? Are they trying to put forth a status symbol, getting attention from others, or some kind of debt repayment? Understanding why they might be doing it can help you confront them in a productive manner.

Exploring different ways to tackle the situation or come to a better understanding can possibly diffuse the atmosphere. First of all, it’s important to address the problem head-on. You need to speak up and let them know how you feel in regards to the financial situation. It should be done in the most honest and civil way possible. If there are any underlying issues that could be causing conflicts, these should also be addressed openly and in an appropriate manner.

Also take the time to talk about what each of you expects from the social situations. Is it a simple repayment in kind such as splitting the bill? What is the purpose of these outings and expectations from both sides? Clarifying expectations and honest communication might be an effective way for both of you to move away from the casual acquaintance level and towards a deeper friendship.

In some cases, it could be helpful to draw boundaries entirely. The two of you might get along in a workplace setting but not match up as friends outside of it. By shift the dynamics and expectations, your resentment may start to dissipate. When all else fails, it can be useful to remove yourself entirely from these social circumstances and spend time with other people.

If you start to recognize that your feelings of resentment are coming out other places in your life then it’s absolutely important to take a deeper look into it. It’s alright to admit that you are struggling with this dynamic. It could indicate that it’s time to move on from your ‘work buddy’ and embark on more meaningful of friendships.

Although it may seem like a difficult issue to face, it’s possible for both of you to come out of it feeling better about the outcome. By openly discussing the issue and coming up with solutions that work for both of you, there’s a chance for a brighter future between the two of you.