Dear eNotAlone: This is a story of an unusual love triangle that has been filled with hurtful moments and unconvincing excuses. My best friend Cara recently confessed to me that she had been seeing both my boyfriend and her own for quite some time.
I was, naturally, devastated. As were my parents — they're not the type of people who react in a very open-minded or understanding way when it comes to situations like this. I immediately broke up with my boyfriend, but now I'm feeling left with no options and little hope that things can still be salvaged with my best friend, who I thought I could trust.
Any advice on how to approach this situation? Can it even still be saved, or should I just move on? Is there still a chance here?
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When you're dealing with a complex relationship such as this one, the first step is assessing what kind of stance you want to take. It's natural to feel hurt and betrayed, but it's important to remember that your emotions don't need to dictate your response. If a conversation between the three of you feels possible, take your time to consider it.
In any case, having a clear understanding of the dynamics of the situation is key to resolving it. Whether it's discussing the issue calmly with your best friend, or getting your emotions out through crying and shouting, the important thing is being explicit about what happened, why it happened and how you feel about it. Be honest with yourself and the other two involved. You know they owe you an explanation, but consider if it's worth seeking closure.
It's your call to make. But if after honest reflection, you believe there's still a chance of salvaging the friendship, all of you are going to have to be willing to put in the work. Communication, accountability and trust are some of the main components of building a successful relationship. Be open-minded and cautious in acknowledging the aspects you can agree on.
It takes a strong commitment to mend broken trust and it will take time, patience and several honest conversations. Trust and forgiveness can be delicate matters, and it's ok to take your time processing all the emotions and opinions. Consider what you can learn from this situation and how you can use it to grow and come closer.