Breaking Up Is Hard to Do: How to Cope When Your Ex is More Available

Nobody said breaking up was easy, but it can feel like a particularly heavy weight when you find out your ex has moved on faster and easier than you. It's normal to feel a range of emotions in these situations, so it's important to acknowledge those feelings in order to move forward. Here are some tips on how to cope when your ex is more available than you.

Take Time to Mourn

It's natural to experience sadness, anger, and even envy when faced with the news that your ex is already beginning to move on. Before taking any action, take time to process your own emotions. Don’t rush this, even if you're feeling pressured to get back out there yourself. Allow yourself some space and quiet to reflect and grieve.

Find Comfort in Friends

Talking with friends and family can be helpful during this difficult period. Try to share your emotions, especially if you don’t feel comfortable talking about them with your ex. Just make sure the people you confide in are understanding and supportive; it's not healthy to stay in an environment that's full of judgement or criticism.

Focus on You

Take time out to focus on yourself - your emotional and physical well being. Everything from exercise to cooking to reading can help. Find something productive to do that will clear your head and give you some closure. Do activities that make you feel relaxed, confident, and good about yourself.

Redefine What Being “Available” Means

Oftentimes, being available is seen as a sign of moving on quickly. But the truth is, we never really know what someone else is going through - maybe they felt lonely and needed connection, or perhaps they were looking for something on their own terms. Whatever the case, try to focus less on what their availability says about you, and more on what it says about them.

Grow From Experience

Change is often uncomfortable, but keep in mind that it’s also necessary to grow. Take this experience as an opportunity to learn something new about yourself and how you want to approach relationships in the future. As cliche as it may seem, you can use this period to figure out what you really want, and to take meaningful steps towards achieving it.