Is there always going to be that one person you have trouble getting over.

I'm in love with somebody else and really do adore him but this guy just lingers.

We haven't spoken in a long time. I just don't understand why.

I just can't seem to let him go.

I sometimes feel it's unfair on the the bf. Though I do know my feelings for him are much stronger. He even knows about this situation since I told him a couple of days ago about it. I guess I wanted to be honest?

But how is it normal to still dream about an ex you haven't seen in 2 years. I mean it happened in June 2013.

I don't want to feel this anymore. How did you guys do it? It's not like a 'I want him back' feeling of course, though I feel like I'm still too attached.

It was a mutual breakup (he went home overseas). No deception/abuse/lack of feelings involved.

Bf and I have been abit on and off but discounting the breakup period, we've been together nearly a year. I know this has nothing to do with him but I sometimes feel slightly helpless. With my bf I'm at the stage where I know he's the only one i want to be with and am thinking further down the line. But how can I be so in love with one guy yet also still love someone else as well?

Some suggestions would really be appreciated.

I have a guy from my past that I probably won't ever get over totally. He was a friend, not a lover, and I fell for him and I know he really liked me a lot, but it just wasn't meant to be. I moved 3 hrs away so I didn't see him, but I sure thought about him. It's been many years and I have seen him once and the feelings are still there but it's still not meant to be.

Maybe when you have someone you can't have, you just have to deal with it, the pain lessens over time, and I live my life well without him, but he's there in the back of my mind, even after all this time, and I dont think he's going away. You just put one foot in front of the other and carry on. What else is there?

I think that there is always one person who effected you in ways no other have. I've been there myself. But one day you are going to have to stop letting this person effect you still and carry on holding you back or you will always be stuck in limbo

Unfortunately it does happen. I've known a few people in life who've never really let go of a past love.

We all preach on enotalone that you have to let go, move on and time will heal you. And in most cases it does, but not all.

In rare cases you're stuck feeling you've lost something for the rest of your life.

That is something YOU are in control of.

If you want to get over someone, you will. IF you don't, you won't. As simple as that.

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right" - Henry Ford

Mind deviation is the tool that will help you with that. When the thoughts of your ex come up, deviate your mind to other things that make you happy, maybe something peaceful. Focus on something else.

In time, practice makes perfect and your ex will fade away for good.

Your mind is a powerful tool if you train it and polish it.

That is something YOU are in control of.

 

If you want to get over someone, you will. IF you don't, you won't. As simple as that.

 

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right" - Henry Ford

 

 

 

Mind deviation is the tool that will help you with that. When the thoughts of your ex come up, deviate your mind to other things that make you happy, maybe something peaceful. Focus on something else.

 

In time, practice makes perfect and your ex will fade away for good.

 

Your mind is a powerful tool if you train it and polish it.

To a certain degree yes, it's under your control but it's not that black and white.

Sometimes, even with the best of intentions, feelings linger. Time may not fade those and all the therapy and good intentions are useless.

Life isn't fair but that's life.

DoF I wish it was that easy cos see, it's never been a mind thing. It's my heart that holds on.

DoF I wish it was that easy cos see, it's never been a mind thing. It's my heart that holds on.

Ignoring your heart is a great strength (at times). This is one of those times.

It's no different than mind deviation.

Again, whether you think you can or can't, you are right!

Your current choice = can't

I think that if you love a person truly you never will let go and you need to accept that it is normal to carry that pain and regret.

For me it has been 25 years so far.

It's been 2 years and it still lingers. I wish it didn't. I still have pain but I have just learned to cope and to carry it. It has lessened but I just came accross my ex on 2 dating sites this week and it really set me back.

It kind of sucks that it has gone on that long.

I think when a relationship ends due to circumstances out of our control, like geography, it makes letting go that much harder. It seems such a waste and we can often find ourselves wondering "...what if..." One of my exes and I broke up due to circumstances beyond our control and our paths have crossed a couple of times since the breakup and it is still really hard. I have dated others since then, have pretty much moved on but I think I will always have a sore spot where he is concerned.

Sometimes it's you... but some people really are that special. You will never meet anyone quite like that person again - you may grow to be able to accept that and appreciate the new people that are brought into your life - but that person's uniqueness will never quite be replaced.

Other times it has as much to do with you and who you were at the time as it does with the other person. The first love that you thought would be your last - you are better off not being that naive, but that easy belief in forever, that feeling can be what you will always miss more than the person who shared it with you.

saluk is spot on. You'll never get back the piece you lost when you were vulnerable, but know that it'll grow back new. "The One" and the feelings associated will never be replaced, best (and only) thing we can do is to form new connections and see where those take us. For me it wasn't my first love, wasn't my longest love, but my most recent. Who would've thunk.

He wasn't even my first love. I had no notions of forever with him nor had the thought he was the one (no such thing imo, something you realise after your first love stomps on your heart). It actually took me less time to get over that guy?

Well I believe that there are indeed some people in our lives who make such an impact (both positively and/or negatively) that we cannot truly forget them.

That's for certain.

However let me ask you something, especially to those who can't find the will to get over someone :

-How on Earth does a man or a woman who dumped you deserve to get all this attention coming from you ? In most cases, you feel that you had something special with them, something unique... Something which impacts you so much that you really can't get over it.

Truth is, in most cases, you were the only one in your couple to have felt that. The other didn't, especially if he or she left without thinking twice about you.

You wanted romance, love, passion.

What you got was a pat on your back and a bill to pay when your relationship ended. So why bother ? They sure don't.

Truth is, realizing how little I really meant for my ex wife helped me to move on faster. So I recommend doing the same.

You get over people, eventually. But you'll never forget them.