24 days of no contact, she texted me. "I need to talk to you."

She hasn't texted me in two and a half weeks now. I checked my phone this morning, and a text from her was the last thing I expected.

A little refresh to you guys:

We ended it because she didn't think we belonged and she wanted to be with someone else.

6 days after we decided to end it, she went on a date with another guy. On Valentine's Day, she posted a picture of her holding hands in a movie theater with the same guy. She was in a rebound relationship, I guess.

I haven't said anything to her since January 30. She hasn't said anything since February 7.

Now today, at 2 in the morning, she texted me, "I need to talk to you."

I'm really curious now what she wants to talk to me about.

Should I respond?

Text her back --- "what about?"

What has changed?

Do you feel you two didn't belong together or was it just her? Did these feelings of thinking you don't belong together start after this other guy showed up in her life?

It sounds like some other guy came sniffing around and she started talking to him, decided she wanted to trade up, dumps you and then goes out with him only to find out he isn't what she thought he was.

If this is the case or anything near that why would you want to talk to anyone that dumps you for the next shiny object that crosses her path?

It all comes down to what you want. If you don't want to try again with her respond back "it is over so there is nothing to talk about" if you do want to be the runner up all the time do as mhowe says and ask talk about what?

Lost

Do you really want a bunch of strangers who don't really know you or her to tell you what to do?

I think the decision is entirely yours and you need to take responsibility for it.

You can either

- Not respond, and continue healing from the breakup and move on. Although it might not seem like it now, you will meet someone, and I can tell you there will be women out there who will think the world of you.

- Respond and talk to her. If you do, you might get back together, or you might end up having to start the healing process from scratch.

The decision is entirely yours, as you will be the person taking the risks and you're the only one who knows which risks you're ready to assume.

What you need to know is that whatever you decide will be the right decision, and you will deal with it.

Let us know what you decide!

She might have some news for you. You should at least hear her out.

I agree with relevart. hear what its about before making a call on whether to follow thru or not

Be verrrrrrrrry careful my friend.

Your emotions are still very raw.

My GUESS is that this new guy and her aren't working out and she's starting to realize what she's missing out on. Again I don't know.

I'm really curious now as to what she has to say, but I'm just starting to get over her these past few days. I may be set back if I message her.

I'm going to sit on it, and read what advice you guys have to say.

Be verrrrrrrrry careful my friend.

Your emotions are still very raw.

I agree. Tread very lightly.

My guess would be that things with the guy she had her eyes on didn't pan out the way she wanted, and is now trying to come back to you.

See what she has to say, but be very careful if you decide to take her back. It's one thing for an ex to want reconciliation without having tried dating someone else in the meantime, and a completely different ball game if they come back because things with the person they had in mind didn't work out. Don't fall into the trap of being her safety net, the trusted guy who she can always come back to, every time things with other guys don't work out.

You are in the drivers seat now.

If/when she responds to your question ---- if it is about "talking about us" ---- tell her there isn't anything you need to hear.

Because there isn't. She is either still with him --- or if it didn't pan out, she now wants you back. Which is pretty lousy of her, no?

What I don't understand is why she always texts me when she knows I'm sleeping. Her texts have come at 2-5 in the morning, almost all of them.

More than likely, I'm going to respond and see what she has to say. Hope I don't regret it.

She has likely been drinking.

You are in the drivers seat now.

 

If/when she responds to your question ---- if it is about "talking about us" ---- tell her there isn't anything you need to hear.

 

Because there isn't. She is either still with him --- or if it didn't pan out, she now wants you back. Which is pretty lousy of her, no?

She doesn't know that I know that she was with someone else when we ended. I guess I'll see what she wants. Still haven't decided.

Honestly - I don't know what good can come out of any discussion with this chick.

It's already established she's childish, immature and not the girl for you ...

I responded. Now we wait.

I have to know what she wants.

I hope I don't regret this...

My GUESS is that this new guy and her aren't working out and she's starting to realize what she's missing out on. Again I don't know.

No way. That's what you hope it will be. But it won't be that at all. I would ask "What do you want to talk about?". If she won't tell you then tell her "No. Not unless you tell me what its about."

I hope I don't regret this...

You will without a doubt regret responding. She treated you like a piece of trash to be thrown away for something shinier and regardless of whether the dude who was boning her bolted on her or not... she is still the same person who found it reasonable to toss you to the curb for another man. No changing that. She is wrong for you. She isn't the one. Period.

My guess is that she wants your advice on something to do with him. If that's the case then answer "Good luck with that, don't contact me again."

Just a guess though. But chances of her going backwards toward you and not forward and changing her mind and running into your arms for forgiveness is extremely low. If anything at all, she might use you to get over him. But that's about it. And I even doubt that's the case as well.

The OTHER thing it could be (and don't freak out lol) is that she is pregnant with either yours or his kid. Pray that's not the case.

No way. That's what you hope it will be. But it won't be that at all. I would ask "What do you want to talk about?". If she won't tell you then tell her "No. Not unless you tell me what its about."

Then I have absolutely no idea why she "needs" to talk to me.

She's either sleeping or at work, I'll update when I find out.

If I knew someone left me for someone else, there's no way in hell I would have responded.

No way. That's what you hope it will be. But it won't be that at all. I would ask "What do you want to talk about?". If she won't tell you then tell her "No. Not unless you tell me what its about."

 

 

 

You will without a doubt regret responding. She treated you like a piece of trash to be thrown away for something shinier and regardless of whether the dude who was boning her bolted on her or not... she is still the same person who found it reasonable to toss you to the curb for another man. No changing that. She is wrong for you. She isn't the one. Period.

 

My guess is that she wants your advice on something to do with him. If that's the case then answer "Good luck with that, don't contact me again."

... that better not be the case. Wow.

If I knew someone left me for someone else, there's no way in hell I would have responded.

I do regret it, but I think I'd rather know. I had to know. Why does she NEED to talk to me?

Again, I will update you guys. Dammit.

Right.. you had to know.. cause you're 'curious'.. BUT.. by sounds of it, she's done this before? (the times she's contacted you?).

So.. SHE is in control?

Just remember this.. >> "We ended it because she didn't think we belonged and she wanted to be with someone else."

Even if she is NOT with anyone else, I sure as heck would NOT be so into the idea of taking her back, anytime soon!

Obviously she's got issue's.. to dump you.. then resort back?

Could be GIGS (grass is greener). but she chose to do this! Now, she's got your BU and this new guy.. she's far from 'stable' at this time...

She is screwing with you on purpose man. Open your eyes. The ONLY thing worth replying to would be if she was pregnant with your kid. Other than that "Don't contact me ever again. Thank you."

Right.. you had to know.. cause you're 'curious'.. BUT.. by sounds of it, she's done this before? (the times she's contacted you?).

So.. SHE is in control?

 

Just remember this.. >> "We ended it because she didn't think we belonged and she wanted to be with someone else."

Even if she is NOT with anyone else, I sure as heck would NOT be so into the idea of taking her back, anytime soon!

Obviously she's got issue's.. to dump you.. then resort back?

Could be GIGS (grass is greener). but she chose to do this! Now, she's got your BU and this new guy.. she's far from 'stable' at this time...

She's messaged 4 times before. Day 4, 5, 7, and 8. None since then.

I'm not sure what she wants and that's why I responded. It won't be anything good. Don't know why I responded.

She is screwing with you on purpose man. Open your eyes. The ONLY thing worth replying to would be if she was pregnant with your kid. Other than that "Don't contact me ever again. Thank you."

I'll see what she has to say. She's not getting me back, though.

I regret it already.

Come on. You were curious. You wanted to know. You made the decision. Stick to it. What's the worst thing that can happen?

Stop putting yourself down for it. x