Am I overreacting or is this woman really sketchy?

I've been dating this woman for about a month, and we had hung out a lot before that. We also dated briefly two years ago, but I was a huge jerk and broke up with her. (I'm a changed person now, after a lot of introspection, and I treat people much better)

Here are three things that she's said/done that are kind of stuck of my mind:

1) One time, when we were walking home together, she said (while kind of drunk), "I feel like I'm just angry and full of rage all the time. Do you ever feel that way?" (I said 'no.')

2) One time, when we were talking about writing down our thoughts, she said that she doesn't keep a diary because she has "too many secrets that no one can ever know." (I said, 'oh...uh...secrets? that's...intriguing..')

3) Last weekend, my friend told me that she came over to his house (where he lives with a bunch of my close friends), and went straight to one of the guy's rooms without saying anything. I don't know that guy as well as the others (he's new), but his longtime girlfriend was also in the room. I knew that they were friends (I introduced her, and we've all hung out before), but I didn't know they were like *that.* Honestly, I have no idea what happened in the room, but she was apparently in there for hours (with the guy and his girlfriend). I should also say that he is a very handsome, built guy and she seems to perk up whenever he's in our group. So, yeah, I'm trying to keep the jealousy at bay. Anyway, my friends were all kind of surprised by what happened, so they told me.

Are these things kind of sketchy to y'all? Or am I just blowing things out of proportion. I'm not sure how to feel.

#2 sounds like a giant red flag to me. So does #1. I don't know about #3.

I think that your first instinct (to break up with her a few years ago) was the right one.

Numbers 1 & 2 just make her sound like she's full of drama. Unless she's secretly killed someone, the secrets she has can't be all that scary. She might be referring to a trauma such as abuse (which would explain number 1 as well).

Number 3 is irrelevant if you don't know what was happening in that room. She could just have been hanging out with them. Just because three people are in a room together doesn't mean they're naked.

@Bulletproof: Ah, true. It actually had not occurred to me that she might be referring to something painful and traumatic that happened to her. Honestly, I really hope she hasn't experienced something like that, because she's someone I care about.

I guess I've had enough bad experiences with overly dramatic people that cryptic references to "secrets" and constant anger tend to raise red flags for me. But without knowing more, I suppose I shouldn't pass judgment. Yes, I don't want to get my feelings hurt by someone with a potentially volatile personality, but it's a risk I have to assume if I want to date her.

Thanks for the reply!

@annie24: Thanks for the reply!

Yeah, I've turned her comments over in my mind a lot - because they're so vague and full of potential meanings. But without more information, I just don't know if I can make a decision based on them.

I do think you're onto something, though, when you refer to my "instinct" two years ago. Honestly, I can't even remember why I broke up with her (it was the first year of law school, crazy times...), but there must have been a reason...

#1 I'd be a bit concerned about that and keep my eyes open

#2 meh sounds like a whatever random kind of a statement. She could have been just kidding or trying to seem mysterious or just whatever

#3 don't see any problem there - clearly she was invited by the two and she doesn't need to ask permission or socialize with the other people in the house before going to see the people she actually came to hang out with. Just because they all didn't feel like hanging out with everyone doesn't mean anything. Your friends are coming accross like gossiping drama queens trying to stir up trouble here. Sorry.

@DancingFool: Thanks for the reply! Yeah, I am trying not to get hung up on #3. I kind of wish my friends hadn't mentioned it, because the way that they told me the story, they made it sound really sketchy. Not in the details, but just in the way they spoke, like "yeah she was in there for *hours,* man. We have no idea what she was doing." And none of us really knew that they were particularly good friends. I had only seen them speak twice before.

I guess it piqued my jealousy, but unless she does something really suspicious, I'll just move on.

The only thing I would worry about is that she said she feels angry all the time. Did you ask her why?

If it bothers you that much, I would have a talk with her and just lay it down. Really, it just all seems to be random talk, unless you being a jerk in the past kinda shadowed and you fear you will be treated the same? Just talk to her. Who knows these are all nothing. Being in a room with a couple and all, seems ok with me as me and my friends do the same thing when we do not like the general topic in the party area.

I agree with Bulletproof ... I thought that 1 and 2 could be about abuse she experienced. Or #2 could just be flirting. #3 is a non-issue.

I would be concerned about #1 and I think you should ask her why she feels that way.

1 and 2 would do it for me, who cares about 3. She walks around feeling full of rage all the time? Run, don't walk, for the nearest exit.

Sounds like her life and secrets are bothering you, aren't they? Is this what you want?

I don't feel i'd be able to accept this kind of person as anything worthwhile... especially if you ARE re-thinking things.