We are the same yet have little in common ...

[edjuvreason]

First, I wanted to thank all of you very much for reading my posts lately -- life has been a bit on its head and I really appreciate the opportunity to express what I'm worried about, not to mention get feedback. And I find that reading about others' issues and trying to offer advice, is very soothing.

 

That being said: Just a few days after being (for lack of a better word) dumped, I heard from my next-most-recent ex, who still cares about me.

Our situation originally failed for a number of reasons: I was bankrupt and being psychologically abused by my (female) roommate, my boyfriend was also out of money and in danger of failing out of school -- plus each of us was very shy and not particularly sure of the other. We ended up fighting, accusing one another of some unkind things, and then not speaking for a few months.

But now I am out of the bad situation, he has passed his courses, and we are communicating well again. He feels that if we can still care about each other after all that, then we might be able to patch things up, and I tend to agree. I know he cares about and has pined for me the entire time we were apart, and I have cared about and thought about him as well.

 

The thing is, we are VERY similar personalitywise, but very different in our interests. I liked to go out to coffee houses, while he liked to stay in and watch movies -- and did not want to accompany me when I went. I realize now that I can compromise without making him feel left out (I can go out on my own time without making him jealous, and stay in with him when we are together), but I'm worried he will bore of me quickly.

I'm probably just being crazy ... or else I'm right, and this will never work.

 

*I might be able to find someone better, but I truly care about him a lot, and after all my other experiences (to quote one of his favorite songs) "I would rather keep working for a paycheck than trying to win the lottery."

 

Does anyone have any tips for keeping some vitality in our interactions? ... Or does anyone want to call me crazy ... ?

 

Thanks

[b2761]

it's great you've got someone else's interest- but if you were dumped just a few days ago, I'd take things a bit slow.

[SuperDave71]

If you just got out of a fire...why would you want to jump back in? I say take some time to heal and be you....

 

 

It is sooo easy to try and heal ourselves by throwing ourselves into something new.....the sad thing is....almost 99% of the time....it ends because you didn;t take the time to learn from the past.

 

 

I wish you well no matter what...but I say....learn to love yourself first BEFORE you try and get into another relationship.

 

 

-SuperDave71

[edjuvreason]

Yeah ... I guess I feel okay about this because it is TECHNICALLY something old and it TECHNICALLY never ended -- we never officially said we were not talking, we just stopped talking.

 

I also forgot to mention I'm REALLY good at being alone ... I never wanted a boyfriend in high school, didn't even know I had a sexuality until I was eighteen (!), and have never had an actual relationship lasting more than a month or two total.

I get very good at being alone ... but then when someone shows me what I am missing ... I tend to get lonely.

I think I am over, or at least almost over, the recent split. (We weren't much beside sleepover buddies anyway.) If I can have a chance of keeping company with someone I really like, and care about, then I want it.